Yes, We Have No Content!

We have no content today!

As you probably know by now, the Fall 2020 TV season isn’t really happening. Some series have begun filming again (This doesn’t seem safe given the general state of Covid Compliance Officers.), but new episodes won’t be arriving until January 2021. This puts me at a disadvantage because I typically fill out the rest of the year blogging about season premieres, series premieres, & mid-season finales.

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The 100 Is Now Dead

The 100 just wrapped up its seven year run with its one hundredth episode! Who would’ve expected a network mash-up of The Hunger Games & Battlestar Galactica would’ve endured this long? I don’t normally cover this series, but I went to the trouble of making a tag for it last year. The end of a long-running series is a big deal, & I’m gonna write about it in abnormal detail to catch everyone up. If you’re not ready, go look at the Firefly custom I spent months making. (Diyoza & The Mountain King guest starred in Gotham season three!) Or you could just read Toni Maggio’s much more insightful & entertaining recaps. (Thanks to a pact with a witch, she made them lightning fast too! Her other photo recaps are delightful as well.) So go float yourself to the SPOILERS. (There may also be some slight spoilers for the end of Game of Thrones.) Does The 100 pass The Final Test to win The Last War?

The100

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Come On Baby, Light My Firefly!

It took me four Marvel toys to make one DC! Can you identify them? This project was a big May Kennedy mood. This blog says Firefly frequently, so hopefully it’ll pick up some bonus traffic from diehard Browncoats.

Firefly7

“Your future’s so bright, I have to wear shades. Because you’ll be aflame.”

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Why Can’t We Ban Star Wars?

The Star Wars is a pathway to much suffering that some may consider unnatural. Its fandom is in a weird place now. Despite making billions of dollars on its new films, Disney’s grand plan to continually spawn more movies appears to have been scuttled. Its Story Group was so preoccupied with streamlining all the continuity that it somehow failed to plan ahead to the trilogy’s culmination. So theoretically Star Wars is over. Meanwhile TV series like The Mandalorian & The Clone Wars spinoff (Being less disappointing on television is Star Trek’s angle!) plus comic books like The High Republic are still getting buzz. So Disney put all this effort into wiping the slate clean of the sprawling Expanded Universe, only to discovery that ancillary media evoking it was more acclaimed than its flagship offerings. Go figure!

As someone who experiences Star Wars primarily through film & action figures, I’m satisfied to shrug & let the it go at this point. I like to insist I enjoy Star Wars less than you while still meeting the minimum criteria for being a fan. “We can move on to other franchises now, everybody!” says the bloke who insisted on watching The New Mutants. I’d be less bothered about SW discourse if it didn’t continue being so obnoxiously overexposed. It’s been a really tough year to write weekly content for, however, so I’m still going to write about Ewoks! Who is your favorite Star Warrior & why is it Albrekh?

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The New Mutants Finally Escaped Limbo!

The New Mutants was originally going to be released on April 13, 2018. It’s been delayed four times! Postponing this movie is the key part of a spell to cancel the Apocalypse. I guess we’re screwed now.

This being a costume-free teen-horror did not excite me, but recent unveilings of Magik & the Demon Bear made me question if it might actually be worthwhile. I was planning on seeing it at matinee prices even before all the creative drama unspooled, which make me question whether that’s too too high a cost. Except Newest Jersey hadn’t reopened its theaters the week before its release like most states. Unfortunately I still feel compelled to witness this trainwreck. At least it should be easier to dodge online spoilers? (If you’re not interested in a preamble about difficulties in viewing this film, skip past the jump.)

The crux of the problem appears to be people risking infection when they remove their masks for refreshments. (I’ve worn my mask & latex gloves indoors for multiple hours & don’t partake of movie snacks, so this felt like a risk I could manage. I’d much prefer to risk my life for Wonder Woman 1984 or Black Widow though. Maybe I should’ve applied this effort to Bill & Ted Face the Music instead?) It seems the easy solution would be to keep theater concessions closed during this period so there would be less temptation for guests to remove their masks. Of course this wouldn’t prevent patrons from sneaking in their own snacks or ensure they won’t remove their masks in theater anyway, but it’d help. Naturally theaters want to keep concessions open since that’s how they make profit, but it’s not helping their cases in states where indoor theaters are still barred from reopening. The “we’d rather make no money than less money” stance is baffling since they’ve already lost months of revenue.

Disney wouldn’t even provide screeners to paid reviewers! While it would’ve been the more hygienic move, I’m somewhat glad contractual obligations precluded Disney from dumping this on Hulu or Disney+. (If they’re going to upsell the Mulan reboot for an additional $30, purchasers should get a physical copy too. Doubly so since it’ll be free to subscribers patient enough to wait three more months.) Not only do I not want additional streaming subscriptions, $30 is too much for an X-movie I doubt I’ll be viewing more than once.

Additional effort of interstate commerce was almost required. I haven’t been to a drive-in movie since Kull The Conqueror & Excess Baggage! That was the night Princess Di died & our cat, Domino, gave birth to a litter of stillborns. ‘Twas an ill-starred evening. The nearest NY drive-in’s ticket policy feels like a scam.”If no proper spots are available at showtime, sadly, you will forfeit your parking spot and admission tickets prepaid online.” Luckily the NJ theaters reopened right before I committed to driving across the border. Due to short notice, most local cinemas didn’t have time to reopen punctually. Our theater felt like it took the responsible safety precautions too. So this marks my first collaboreview with The Wages of Cinema since Harley Quinn & Birds Of Prey!

Just like the comic book is based on, it has a generic title that is already outdated. Now without further ado, the SPOILERS have been released from Limbo below! We finally have closure for Fox’s X-movies! Since I waited this long to see it, it didn’t skimp on the verbiage.

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The Official Kitty Blog Of 2020

After recapping two titanic televisual finales back-to-back, I took a longer than usual break to recharge from burnout. I finally changed the sharing call to action at the bottom of my posts so it’s no longer insensitive during this era. It took me way too long to figure out where that editing option was. A labor-intensive top secret custom has also been occupying my attention.  I could’ve written something about DC Fandome but it would’ve basically just said it had some nice trailers. Now I have compiled content worth regurgitating for you!

You might think I’d already done my yearly feline blog. That was about the global phenomenon Cats. (Now that she’s become a YouTubist, will Brie Larson finally share her thoughts on it?) This is about cats. If you’ve read prior installments, you’ll know these are a mix of personal anecdotes & random cat links with minimal organization.

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The Spoilery Summation Of Stargirl’s Season!

DC Universe’s Stargirl series is not to be confused with Disney+’s Stargirl movie. Now it’s also The CW’s Stargirl. Since television is drying up, why aren’t you watching it? We’ll soon be out of bread & circuses!

The first trailer made the show look cheap in a bad Smallville way. The actual production values, however, are higher than Beeboverse shows. I also got the impression that it would be a lighter series intended for younger audiences, but it gets plenty dark. Kids love stories that don’t talk down to them more than adults may believe, so it could still be a youngling favorite. This series is a rarity for superhero shows this year for its lack of time travel. Lengthy SPOILERS for ethics in teen superheroism below!

Sportsmaster Stargirl

You need to tag in Casey Jones to vanquish a fellow master of sports!

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The Umbrella Academy’s Sophomore Term Needs Novelty

Now that SDCC 2020 is over, we can turn our gaze towards something originally intended for remote viewing: The Umbrella Academy season two! I did three different text manipulations of the same still. In upholding this blog’s tradition, none of them are funny! Can you stand the SPOILERS under my umbrella, Ella?

Mysterio_Carmichael

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Virtual SDCC Feels The Same To Me

Unlike last year’s false advertising, this is really the fiftieth anniversary of San Diego Comic Con. This year everybody’s got armchair reporting because it’s the only option! How egalitarian! Now my blog finally has the same level of convention coverage as professional news sites!

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