Check Into The Umbrella Academy Season Three

Netflix decided to release the whole third season of The Umbrella Academy the same Wednesday of Disney+’s underwhelming Obi-Wan Kenobi conclusion & Ms. Marvel’s midpoint. Why couldn’t it wait until Friday as usual? I don’t see this helping Netflix. It inconvenienced me specifically, as it threw off my schedule by two episodes. SPOILERS for Hargreeves hotel hijinks ahead! I heard a rumor that you read my blog.

LilaPitts ViktorHargreeves

Dye Mr. Pogo blue.

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Is Obi-Wan Kenobi an Obi-Yawn?

I have minimal interest in what “Ben” Kenobi was doing on Tatooine before Star Wars, whereas I have maximum interest in seeing how the Legends Of Tomorrow get out of time-jail. As someone who’s proudly in the “Obi-Wan was actually terrible” camp, the very notion of Disney trying to redeem filled me with contempt. I was so disinterested in this that I didn’t even give this Jedi’s solo series a shot until after the fourth episode premiered. It’s … better than I expected. Is Obi-Wan Kenobi the Hawkeye of Star Wars TV shows? SPOILERS for a series that shouldn’t have any by design follow.

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If you see a Jedi shoplifting, [waves hand] you didn’t.

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I Love & Thunder Marvel Legends!

With 7/9 of Stranger Things season four out & Ms. Marvel just begun, let’s use this interlude for a gallery of my Thor: Love & Thunder toys. By which I mean I only bought Mighty Thor & King Valkyrie. If I’d timed it better, I could’ve published this on Natalie Portman’s birthday or at least to coincide with the new commercial. This blog should be somewhat less wordy than usual despite me theorizing about the film.

PadmeAmidala Mjolnir

“Whosoever holds this hammer, if they be worthy, shall possess the power of …THOR!”

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Is Stranger Things 4 A Chore?

It’s trendy to dunk on Stranger Things now for its diminishing returns, but I’m much more interested in it than the latest unnecessary Star Wars prequel since it’s not stuck in a narrative cull de sac. The first seven of nine premiered the same week as Obi-Wan Kenobi. Since that’s airing weekly, I can review it later anyway without being late. SPOILERS for season four except the two episodes they haven’t released yet are on the other side of this break. The main draw for this review is that you can read it in a fraction of the time it takes to watch all these!

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Save Legends Of Tomorrow, Save The Timeline!

I’m gutted that we lost Neal Adams, Batwoman, & Legends Of Tomorrow all on the same day. George Perez followed not long after. Grodd damn it, Barry! I knew the end of the Arrowverse loomed, but I’d expected at least one final fourway crossover next season. The CW chose to be on the wrong side of history for unceremoniously cancelling Legends Of Tomorrow. As a longtime fan who didn’t hate the first season, I feel personally betrayed by the network I so often championed. Now how will we get an episode starring Swoler Sara?

Season seven may be LOT’s strongest season. It also had its most intriguing cliffhanger. This is why we can’t just shrug off this cancellation. Viewers were on a roller coaster that abruptly stopped just as it was about to crest its biggest loop. We’re too high up & far from the exit to safely leave the ride now.

The Flash just had a funeral for a longstanding teammate, but I was crying because it reminded me that The CW dared to defy decency by killing the Arrowverse’s Beeboverse’s best series. I come not to bury Legends Of Tomorrow but to revive it! I’m not going to let my complete lack of influence deter me. Here’s a website filled handy resources to get involved in this Sisyphean mission. Let’s screw things up for the better!

Zari_Heatwave

“We tried to be Preventers, but I guess we gotta be Avengers now.”

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Doctor Strange 2: Multiverse Boogaloo!

We bid you welcome to The Wages Of Cinema collaboreview for Doctor Strange In The Multiverse Of Madness! Do you need to see WandaVision before Dr. Strange 2? If you don’t have Disney+ like our control group, Andrew, scope out this review first. I’m dropping additional thoughts on the series afterwards anyway.

Is there even a point to this now that Everything Everywhere All At Once exists? Its international titles are on point. I would’ve gone with Dr. Strangemom, Or How I Stopped Worrying & Learned To Love The Multiverse. I’m not going to argue with Jamie Lee Curtis!

Can we live in the altverse where The CW gives Legends Of Tomorrow the final season it deserves? Is this sequel actually about Dr. Strange, or is he merely filler betwixt multiverse cameos? Does DSITMOM distract from thinking about Natalie Portman’s arms in Thor: Love & Thunder? Grab a popcorn cube & prepare for SPOILERS! Don’t even read the tags if you want to be surprised by cameos.

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Moon Knight Is Disney+ Going Through A Phase

Before we get to the Moon Knight meat, I implore you not to give up the fight to get Legends Of Tomorrow a proper conclusion in the face of premature cancellation. I just sent a three page email to HBO Max, Warner Bros. TV, & Netflix in an effort to save the Beeboverse’s best show. Let’s screw things up for the better!

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Where’s Moon Knight’s bread? He should eat only croissants! Hopefully Moon Knight works out better than the last time Oscar Isaac played an Egyptian-flavored Marvel character that’s space slut adjacent. This is the first of the D+ series not to headline a pre-existing MCU character. Ms. Marvel & She-Hulk will follow his lead. So get your psyche straight for SPOILERS! Bill Sienkiewicz’s cover for Empire is better than the photo variant. Check out his awesome nine panel action grid!

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Whipping Up Lashina

If you wanted a very verbose blog about customizing Lashina & her use within DC Comics, you’ve come to the right place! If not, just look at the pictures. Either way it gives you more fake nerd cred than reading a Thor 4 trailer reaction. The real nerd cred, however, comes from supporting #renewLegendsOfTomorrow until The CW bends to our will! The bastards just cancelled Legends Of Tomorrow the same day we lost Neal Adams & Batwoman? GRODD DAMN THEM! Now back #saveLegendsOfTomorrow & petition HBO Max to give it a proper wrap-up!

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Post-Apocalyptic jump rope has a dress code.

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Thor 4: What Is Its Teaser Good For?

Remember when I thought we’d be getting a trailer for Thor: Love & Thunder shortly after customizing Shocker? Well it exists at last! Thor 4 currently holds the record for shortest gap betwixt first trailer & release date. Much like its forerunner’s, this trailer provides a blog topic ahead of my review. It’s a short teaser, so don’t expect much depth. (People need to stop pretending that teasers are distinct from trailers.) This is mostly an exercise to workshop some wordplay before higher profile outlets steal them. Maybe this way my collaboreview will be a reasonable length this time? Or if nobody reads this, I can get away with recycling these puns in under three months. What I’m saying is supporting the #renewLegendsOfTomorrow campaign is more important at the moment.

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The Multiverse Of Michelle Yeoh Minces Morbius!

Hot on the heels of Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse & No Way Home yet before Doctor Strange In The Multiverse Of Madness & oft delayed The Flash, Michelle Yeoh stars in her own multiversal movie! I did not expect this concept to be the basis for so many blockbusters. I guess we have Blind Chance, Sliding Doors, Run Lola Run, & The One to thank for all this. It’s madness hers didn’t kick off with a wide release. The Wages Of Cinema will fill you in on SPOILERS for Everything Everywhere All At Once! As its title promises, there’s so much going on here that even we can’t cover them all in a reasonably sized podcast & blog combo. I doubt these can ruin the experience of actually observing this masterpiece, but you may want to do that first just to be on the safe side. You can look at my repainted Scare Glow while you’re waiting for it to open near you. Reject Morbius mania & embrace Everything Everywhere All At Once!

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