Last week this blog had another anniversary! We’re now officially into year three! True to form, I’ve nothing to show for it. I still don’t have a new publisher to get The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose back into print. (Contact me if you’d like to buy one of the limited supply of signed author’s copies of the first edition I have left.) I don’t have a publisher for my second novel, which I’ve yet to complete, either. My priorities & ability to plan ahead remain out of order. Here’s an exclusive image of the scapegoat for my lack of success:
There’s no mouse this catsquatch won’t trod upon with her GOAT feet in her quest to distract me.
I dropped my phone in Walmart surrounded by strangers & the back popped off. I literally exclaimed, “Oh no! That’s bad!” That’s kind of momentous, right? (Hopefully I’m not as doomed as Toys R Us or Barnes & Noble. The impending late stage capitalism collapse of two of my favorite industries totally isn’t filling me with any existential dread.) I haven’t seen Jessica Jones season two yet, but I have quasi-spoilery recaps for assorted network comic book shows below.
A movie I really liked won lots of Oscars this year! And the Award for Best In-Universe Commercial goes to… Gotham’s The Sirens Club! Collect your trophies, Danny Cameron, Hanelle Culpepper, Erin Richards, Jessica Lucas, & Camren Bicondova! Despite its excellent club scene, the cast wisely wouldn’t live in Gotham City.
Since the season left off, I’ve found myself in Gotham withdrawal. As a show I begrudging sat through during season one, how did it come to this? Is (Green) Arrow so unwatchable this season that it makes Gotham look great by comparison? (Sometimes I think season six is punishment for me being the only person that hated season five.) Whilst perusing clips online, I came to the conclusion that it has progressively blossomed into a legitimutantly good show just like Agents of SHIELD! Gotham is nonsensical in a kookily entertaining way, whereas (Green) Arrow doesn’t make sense in an infuriatingly dull manner. It’s so despicable now that the boxing glove arrow not being a quiver staple no longer even makes my top five complaints. (The writers threw everyone under the bus in the worst Civil War ripoff because they were too stupid to notice that Black Siren didn’t have an opportunity to personally withdraw the extortion fund for herself! AAARRRRRGGGHHHHHH!!!!) Instead of breaking my keyboard in fury, I’ll thoroughly review the one I don’t currently loathe.
In addition to not feeling as formulaic, Gotham is a better directed series overall than The CW’s DC shows. For instance, “Pieces Of A Broken Mirror” began with with four separate plots geographically converging. We don’t yet learn if Sofia Falcone is managing crime better than Oswald Cobblepot, but there’s lots of other stuff going down. Even underused Lucius Fox gets in on it.
“Although if you pop a cap in Lee, that’d be just peachy.”
I felt obligated to see Annihilation in the cinema since it’s going straight to Netflix in most nations & is being overshadowed by Black Panther pandemonium. It’s based on a book … I haven’t read yet. Sorry, I’m not gonna be much help with adaptation insights here. Why can’t Hollywood ever adapt something I’ve read? Well Peter Rabbit looks like a terrible Beatrix Potter adaptation, but part of me still wants to see General Hux on the receiving end of slapstick violence. Oh, Ready Player One is happening. I resent that its ads are ironically co-opting “Pure Imagination!” Grodd damn it, monkey’s paw! It should’ve been Snowcrash or Neuromancer!
My theater was almost sold out, so I got stuck craning my neck in the front row. It was not an ideal situation. The cast often looked flattened & oddly proportioned as a result of my forced perspective. I’m unsure if this enhanced the body horror. Below begins the annihilation of your pre-spoilers existence.
I went to Wakanda with The Wages of Cinema to visit Black Panther! My kitty’s mad I saw it without her. This I know from speaking the universal language of Espurranto. (I should start calling her Snuggletooth.) Let’s dive right off Warrior Falls into SPOILERS. If you’ve not seen it yet, skip even further down to the tilde for Toy Fair 2018 SPOILERS!
It’s usually easier to review something I dislike. I can point out its perceived shortcomings, explain why it didn’t appeal to me, & make suggestions of how to fix it, all while incorporating snarky quips. Meanwhile I struggle to write thorough reviews of media that just click with me. (Perhaps one day I can be as insightful as The Institute of Gremlins 2 Studies.) This installment comes later than expected because I wanted to write a meaningful recommendation of Happy! beyond “I liked this! It’s good; trust me.”
Syfy has won me over with its adaptation of Happy! Much like FILLER! & mother! (I learned only too late that it has no capitals), its loopiness bleeds into my sentence structure thanks to its mandatory exclamation mark. Sometimes it feels like it was made just for me! The Grant Morrison & Darick Robertson comic is only four issues, so it’s perfect length for a feature film. Unlike Inhumans, it translated surprisingly well into an eight episode TV season. The expanded stuff is legitimutantly engaging instead of empty padding.
I customized some DC toys! Then I got frustrated about other DC toys that may never exist!
“The power of St. Dumas compels you!”
Last week The CW was finally struck by Black Lightning! It’s currently airing in Legends Of Tomorrow’s former slot while they & Supergirl will share. I would’ve reviewed it more punctually last week if I didn’t have that The Gifted finale piece in the works. Thankfully it’s much more electrifying than Syfy’s Krypton trailer that doesn’t even have the basic decency to dress Adam Strange like Buck Rogers. (Krypton’s Adam Strange < MCU’s Stephen Strange < Gotham’s Hugo Strange) In the unlikely event that you’ve not watched it yet, be forewarned I’m going to thoroughly discuss the pilot with speculation.