The Gifted Vs. Inhumans

The Gifted’s first season wrapped up, so I belatedly powered my way through the last half of Inhumans. (Surely more readers are interested in how that ended now than ever before!) Now I can accurately contrast their conclusions in my follow up to the comparison of their premieres. If you don’t like reading words, you can scroll all the way down for a summary GIF. SPOILERS & legitimutantly bonkers fan theories away!

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He turned his helmet insignia into a Slammer either because he’s a bad dad or the film timeline is nonsensical.

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Westworld Isn’t The Best World

Bombogenesis is fun to say but not fun to experience! So I took a vacation to balmy Westworld. Was HBO’s remake of Westworld the best world? Drat, I really have to stop spoiling my reviews in their headlines. I’ll start by noting the music, production values, acting, & opening titles are fantastic now so I can concentrate on nitpicking. Perhaps I should’ve gone to Alton Towers for its Wicker Man roller coaster instead? At least its gift shop wouldn’t run out of Bort license plates. Hop on the very SPOILERY critique train below for my cold take!

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Michael Crichton realized he could split one 1969 movie into two franchises.

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Through The Black Mirror Into 2018

If you can read this, congratulations on making it through The Year Of The Bastard! History books will be indebted to Warren Ellis for this phrase. Anyhoo, we begin the new cycle with cold takes on TV, books, & a film retrospective that’s essentially a clip show. I’m not even starting out the new year fresh! At least my hyperlinks are almost the Pantone Color of the Year?

I’m quite perturbed they waited until after my Netflix subscription lapsed to finally release Black Mirror series four at 2017’s tail end. Thanks to my pals, Jack & Korey, however, I was able to spend New Year’s Day watching it. This show has such a stupendous batting average!  Now I’m going to predominantly  SPOIL “USS Callister.

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Doctor Who Examines The Shape Of Water

We have another misleading title this week, as Doctor Who doesn’t interact with The Shape Of Water. I write about both of them though (plus Justice League Action), so this was another byproduct of needing an SEO friendly title for an overview of disparate topics. Onward to the year’s final blog!

It feels like I’ve been waiting forever to see Guillermo del Toro’s The Shape Of Water. (I doubt this staggered release did its box office any favors.) Co-writen by Vanessa Taylor, it’s The Creature From The Black Lagoon meets Amélie. The costumes & furnishings aren’t as sumptuous as Crimson Peak due to the setting, but it’s a more captivating film. It’s as gorgeous as a GdT movie ought be!

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We wouldn’t have to objectify Sexy Fish Man if he had a name.

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Disney & FCC Holiday Humbug

After much rumor & negotiation, Disney bought 21st Century Fox for the ludicrous amount of $52.4 billion. This means X-Men & Fantastic Four can join the MCU. The petty era of them being scrubbed off merchandise is over! They could star in cartoons & video games again! Hasbro could make a Marvel Legends movie Deadpool! Maybe this will motivate Marvel to stop marginalizing the merry mutants in comic books? Can Squirrel Girl, Scarlet Witch, & Quicksilver get retconned back into being muties? Since the MCU movies have been consistently better than Fox’s Marvel movies, this should make me happy. Why isn’t it?

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The Last Jedi Renewed My Faith In Star Wars

In Rian Johnson’s Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Luke & Rey go to extreme lengths to unsuccessfully kill a lone Mynock that got into their Midichlorian factory before Luke finally agrees that nobody cares if The Force is slightly less than 98% pure. The original title was Star Wars: The Ultimate Jedi Who Wastes All the Other Jedi & Eats Their Bones, but that was too long a spoiler to print on posters.

I was one of the few not wowed over by The Force Awakens. Rogue One was even more superfluous. Only Rian Johnson’s filmography had raised my hopes for Episode VIII. Seeing it with The Wages of Cinema was a pleasant surprise. Please peruse this Porg podcast! Then real SPOILERS happen! (Several of these SW:TLJ Bingo spaces are accurate.)

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DC TV Winter Finales Are Low-Key

The Shape Of Water still isn’t playing at a theater near me yet, so I guess I’m writing about TV again this week. It’s winter finale time again for DC TV. Compared to last week’s epic Nazi-slaying crossover extravaganza, they’re on the subdued side. This year the Gotham mid-season finale (which they’re technically right in calling a season finale since its second half airs in spring) was considerate enough to line up with the CW’s. Things will be spoiled, unless you’ve seen them already. (I don’t say too much about Legends of Tomorrow as my brain has yet to fully parse its ratio of brilliant to inane this week.)

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