We Interrupt Your Regularly Scheduled Programming …

There are no Robin memes this week because I’ve opted to  zag instead of zigging as if expectations are a hungry crocodile with a pocket watch in its tummy chasing me. You still have time to tell me which captioned Catwoman you like best because they’ve been handily numbered for just such an occasion. You’re not going to force me to learn how to integrate polls before participating, are you?

I’ve been doing a bit of tinkering with The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose, but for the most part I’m working on its paintings. Ever have one of those moments when you’re really proud of how a Chimera turned out but you’re iffy on the rest of a piece? (Seriously, please tell me in the comments section if you have for solidarity.) I want to post more art here soon, but it feels a bit awkward since you don’t have context for it. I could explain, but will that dampen your enthusiasm to see the book published by spoiling some twists too far in advance? It’s really hard to gauge things like that given how seldom I get feedback here & on social media (HINT HINT).

I was also at a wedding.  (Not mine; interested parties submit offers.)

Aside from that, I’ve been watching television, which has mutated considerably within the past few decades. Modern televisions no longer contain cathode ray tubes. You can even bypass that appliance altogether by watching programs directly on computers. It’s getting to the point where it’s almost a completely different medium like how most modern movies aren’t really films. I suppose the terminology is still technically accurate since we still view shows that are assembled remotely.

That got really meta like that awesome “Oil Drums” episode of Teen Titans Go! where Cyborg extols the virtues of 80’s television.

Daredevil watching Daredevil?

Daredevil watching Daredevil?

I had the pleasure of watching all of Daredevil in a single day, & it’s ruined Agents of SHIELD & Agent Carter for me. It’s that well executed. I was pleasantly surprised by how great Karen Page was compared to the comics. She’s is awesomer than Laurel Lance, Iris West, Barbara Kean, & Skye combined! Of course Daredevil isn’t a perfect show. I’m still pissed off that it took Matt until 3/4 of the way through the final episode to put on the Daredevil costume. They can make it up to me by having Stilt-Man hydraulically kick people through skyscrapers next season. I also recommend you watch Gravity Falls, the current Teenage Mutant Ninja TurtlesThe Flash, & Orphan Black if you’re not already doing so.

To add some value to this entry of meandering banality, here is an unfortunately non-rhyming poem inspired by various things I’d observed on the television. See if you can guess the references! I’ve forgotten a few of them so your input may be helpful. It originally ran along the bottom of the final Zeitgeist magazine one line to a page:

Marvels of the Idiot Box

Death rays deploy the sheriff’s airbags.

A cadre of minotaurs must keep its itinerary.

A disheveled bookshop owner makes popsicles out of cabernet sauvignon.

A cat without pedigree vomits diamonds.

Courtney Cox is a phalanx of particulate matter.

The soldier kills his adulterous dog out of jealousy.

In addition to mending watches, he also eats brains.

A wooly mammoth sucks the life-forces out of septuagenarians macking on each other in the woods.

The olfactory surgeon is slain by the exhalations of the patient he designed a gimp suit for.

A criminal reenacts the entirety of H.M.S. Pinafore to a captive audience.

Sometimes a tumor is just a calcified fetus.

Will the deer-boy mutilate himself?

The Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs At Midnight does exactly what his nom de guerre entails.

There are neither epilogues nor prologues in time travel.

A B-list actor is democracy’s last hope against an infestation of gigantic termites.

Jaye Tyler does whatever the Cow of Pain tells her to do.

A light bulb pendulum shatters into portly fairies.

The fight against the Frizzies is joined at 11.

Geoff doesn’t want you to think he collects women’s ears in a bucket.

Einsteins of the ursine variety.

Bebop couldn’t catch a bite at the fission plant.

Never tell anyone to buy spinning tops of doom!

Venetian masks hide clockwork faces.

Chainmail-lined hats as the height of pessimism.

A life-size sailboat takes the top prize at The Village art exhibition.

There’s a problem with the duck tonight.

Table length is inverse to conversational dialogue.

Romo Lampkin is officially the most badass lawyer ever.

Neo-Flappers pit umbrellas against impact.

They all lip-synch to the same voice.

The cheerleader only smiles when the ribs burst through her skin.

Now you understand why that was the last issue published. I ran that literary magazine into the ground!

Maybe next week I can explain that I also partake in the reading of the books. It might even have a clear thesis statement!


3 thoughts on “We Interrupt Your Regularly Scheduled Programming …

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