Killer Robots Made Me Late For A Very Important Date

Headlines be damned! It looks like plenty of people are interested in Jemmacide! Last week’s post cleared 100 views in under two days! That’s more than any other post on my humble blog so far. Then it kept getting more views. In less than a week, it’s cracked 300 views, making it over quadruple times more popular than the previous leading post. It’s even surpassed my home page in viewership. If the rest of my articles don’t pull in similar numbers I’m going to be so mad at them! Total viewership of the blog is now north of 1,000. The amount of unique international viewers who’ve visited my blog has just hit 700. So thank you very much to everyone who Shared, Favorited, Retweeted, Liked, or simply clicked on the link for breaking all of my meager records. A very special thanks to the mystery person who searched for “jemmacide marvel comics,” without whose curiosity that rant would’ve never been written.

After all that, I want to see Elizabeth Henstridge become Jemmacide on season three of Agents of SHIELD more than ever. Even if it does happen in some form, it’ll still probably be much less cool than I imagined. After all, I was so pumped when Raina underwent Terragenesis only to be so disappointed when she became even more sidelined than usual. Ruth Negga nabbing a lead in Preacher had better be worth Raina getting fridged. I demand a Marvel Legends Raina action figure with swappable heads in reparation! While I’m making outrageous demands I might as well also request Melinda May, Mockingbird, Sif (armored not incognito), Mr. Hyde, Jiaying, and Jemmacide to go with the Phil Coulson I already have. They’ve got better odds of being made now that Marvel is being so petty about not having the X-Men movie rights.

I’ve already alerted most of the pertinent Agents of SHIELD people about the essay on the Twitter, the preferred social platform for irritating celebrities. It was met with a deafening silence. So it’s either completely right but they can’t confirm it this early, so completely off base they won’t dignify it with a response, or not what they had in mind originally but now they’re scrapping the previous plans to make Jemmacide a reality & ninjas are en route to my home. Occam’s Razor says they just hate me & want to be left alone. It’s up to you to contact your Member of Parliament and demand Jemmacide. Just be absolutely certain you spell her name right. No autocorrect!

Oh, here’s what I was planning to write before I was completely sidetracked by Jemmacide:

2015 makes the tenth anniversary of Bronson vs. Robots! it’s sure to be a better versus film than BVSDOJ. Don’t believe me? See for yourself:

I still remember it like it was yesterday. When Eric Luszcz was putting together the intro for the 11th Annual WPU Film Festival, I wanted in. He graciously gave me the part of The General. The most militaristic clothing I could find on such short notice was a vintage East German Air Force uniform, so that’s what we went with for my wardrobe. My tie features Moby Dick hemorrhaging from its blowhole to add verisimilitude. I decided my performance would be inspired by Jim Rage from the second best episode of The Tick. Whilst filming, I improvised an extra line that Eric kept in the final cut. I was not expecting to get second billing with a huge picture of my face in the credits.

After filming that scene, I stuck around to be an extra. I can be scene running in circles screaming “NIGETE! GOJIRA GA KITE!” in the background. I also got to try on one of the high tech robot suits. I’m the fast one leading the charge uphill. Aside from being gobs of fun, this was a seminal project because it was the first time I worked with Jack Gattanella & Korey Hughes. I would later team up with them on such infamous projects at The Intergalactic Necktie Strangler, FILLER!, Green Eyes, & Losers. Most importantly, we all learned a very important lesson that day: TONY THE MASON DON’T KNOW NOTHIN’ ‘BOUT NOTHIN’!

11164049_10100752215221798_1552372317191870986_nI swear I had nothing to do with the poster. Notice that date? I’m fashionably late to this anniversary party. Come back a month late next year for the eleventh anniversary of the Eleventh Annual WPU Film Fest. It’ll be extra elevensy!

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