TDAOBB ETA TBA!

So last week I promised you big news about The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose. For once, I wasn’t lying!

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The author, seen here with the first volume of the orginial manuscript.

Lots of behind the scenes action went down since the last time I typed to you. I updated the book’s blurb, & it was approved! I photographed all my oversize paintings & had Shamus Fatzinger professionally ensure they’ll reproduce well! I finished reviewing Martin Jones’s proofreading! I approved Ashley Ruggirello’s cover design, & Booktrope approved it too! I finished last minute revisions to the manuscript! Most importantly, It’s been uploaded to layout!

Yes, the cogs of production are now officially turning to make The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose a book you can read without breaking into my house! It took years to get to this point. It probably took even longer than it needed because this perfectionist had to force himself to stop tinkering with it. I’ve revised the blarmy manuscript so many times that I’ve incurred acute dyslexia & aphasia. Now it’s t’s done, mostly because any changes now that it’s been sent to layout would end up costing me. So I can’t look at it anymore otherwise I’ll be tempted to capitalize everything again.

This is ordinarily the part where I announce the release date. Unfortunately Booktrope can’t provide a firm release date as that’s decided by vendors, but layout has informed me that the book should be ready by late September or early October. I will keep you updated on things as they progress, but The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose is definitely on track for a Fall ’15 release. Trick-or-treaters will love them, so stock up! I will be extra obnoxious once it’s officially ready to purchase just to make sure you don’t miss out. Warn your loved ones that it approaches!

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“THREE BOOKS? Wait a minute. Hold it. Nobody said anything about three books!”

My feline overlord is the big three today!

So I figured the dour Fantastic Four reboot would be terrible, but I did not expect reviews to unanimously tell me it’s terrible in almost every respect. Apparently it’s not even a good movie if you pretend it’s not an adaptation. I didn’t personally see it because I don’t hate myself that much. It boggles my mind how Fox could make a movie so completely wrongheaded. They didn’t even get Bill Nye to play Mr. Fantastic! Why cut expensive action scenes? F4 got its ass kicked by Ant-Man! The unreleased Roger Corman version is still the best, & it had far less than $120 million to play with. This made half the opening weekend box office of Fox’s previous attempt a decade ago! Did Fox intended this to fantastically flop ala The Producers?

Those responsible for the other recent cinematic atrocity, Pixels, have issued groundless DMCA complaints to get several short films removed from Vimeo for having “pixels” in their titles. Suddenly my monograph, Generation Mixtape: A User’s Guide to Copyright Online, is relevant again!

On the opposite side of the cinema spectrum, there’s The Babadook! Not only is it a great movie, it’s also ridiculously fun to say! It’s kind of like an Australian female-centric The Shining with a haunted pop-up book, except much better than that elevator pitch sounds. The inevitable US remake will surely suck. “BABA-DOOK-DOOK-DOOK!”

Wyatt Scott may have two first names, but I’d still vote him into Parliament. If only I had dual citizenship!

You know what you need to do, British Columbian readers.

I was prepared for my second article with Jemmacide in the title to go over like a lead balloon. Instead it sailed past 100 views in just over twenty-four hours. While it’s not as ridiculously popular as the original, it’s still pulling its weight. So if you enjoy reading me make stuff up that much, you’re sure to love The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose when it comes out this autumn. Either that or you just really wanted to watch the Deadpool trailer again.

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