Begin Buying Brother Banenose Books!

Thank you very much to everyone who’ve bought books! Your generosity & taste has warmed the cockles of my shriveled heart. If you haven’t bought a copy or forty-two of The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose, you need to do that RIGHT NOW! My sister was very adamant that I stress this up front as she was greatly displeased with the structure of my last blog. Therefore I have to be very mercenary to appease her. My apologies for being gauche.  Amazon as well as Barnes & Noble have it in both ebook & paperback editions. The ebook is now on iTunes. You can ask your local indie book store to special order it for you. GO BUY IT NOW!

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The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose is real! Look what arrived  yesterday:

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Want a shot at winning a signed copy? Come to the virtual release party this Thursday (not to be confused with Thursday Next)!

Did you notice the blog has a new icon? If you click the “heart” icon (which does not resemble an actual human heart), it brings up all my “Social Links” in one convenient spot. It goes: my brand new Amazon Author Page, Facebook Fan Page, the Twitter, Goodreads Author Profile, YouTube, LinkedIn, imdb profile, & Google Plus. That way you can easily find them if you need them, provided you remember what that anatomically incorrect icon symbolizes. I’m going to have to explain this again every post, aren’t I?

My sister also disapproves of my author bio on the back of the book. In backwards vision, I concur that it does have a surfeit of information. In my defense, I have no way of knowing whether fate will allow me to author any more books so I wanted to put some nice things about myself on the record when I had the chance. Mostly she objected to me self-identifying as a “feline pleasure maintenance technician.” She & her federal office find this descriptor obscene. This is ridiculous because she first alerted me to the existence of Impurrator Furryosa in addition to meeting her on several occasions. She knows how needy Princess Punchpaws is. Readers have seen photos of the monster in several posts. I am required to serve the neko on account of nominative determinism, a noble duty she is shirking. Her office is full of perverts … or should I say purrverts?

Leslie Thompkins & Alfred Pennyworth are my OTP. Only their love could’ve prevented Master Bruce from terrorizing Arkham’s inmates as that horrid Batman!

“Emily Blunt’s Tits Become Sentient, Tell Her What To Do” I’m not making this up. This is a real thing that happened.

Vote for what you’d like to see on the back of Canadian coins. I recommend everything with a castor. I have it on good authority that a beaver painting a maple leaf on top of an inukshuk is the most Canadian thing possible.

All these Jessica Jones teasers just make me yearn even more for a She-Hulk film franchise.

I went to my third wedding type thing this year. If a film is ever made of about the events of 2015, it could be called Three Weddings & A Funeral. (It can gloss over getting my first novel published.) The tagline could be something like “It’s not real fun without a funeral!” My friends concur that Jeremy Davies should play me … as a SPYENTIST! The main takeaway is that I once again WON AT CUFFLINKS! At least two people specifically took pictures of them this time, & then didn’t forward them to me as proof for you readers. Trust me, they were K-9 & a Cyber-Controller straight from the dearly departed Doctor Who Museum of Blackpool. Congratulations on your nuptials, Allison & Nathan, Mona & Jei, & Heather & Matt!

Did you know that God will be destroying the Earth today (October 7, 2015) … for real this time?  “But then how will you have a release party the day after?” THE DOLOROUS ADVENTURE OF BROTHER BANENOSE IS CANCELLING THE APOCALYPSE! That’s how.

The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose is the book that saved the world from Divine annihilation!” really needs to be the focus of our marketing campaign.

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