A Big Review To-Do!

I began 2016 with a quite the popular post. Some people even agreed with it! So  Star Wars: The Force Awakens is something people care about? I’m now bracing for readership to nosedive this article for lack of Star Wars content. Thanks to all the readers who’ve returned regardless.

Read  Cain S. Latrani’s review of The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose! It’s ridiculously flattering to both me & the book I foisted upon an unsuspecting world. (Watch this space for my review of Cain’s book.) He obviously put way too much effort into that post. There may be some light spoilers, but maybe I haven’t been giving you enough book info myself. (What specific things about the novel do I still need to cover here?) He’s got an outsider perspective on the book, so his take on it will undoubtedly be more useful to you than mine. Hopefully something in his review will make you realize it’s what your bookshelf has been missing all these years.

Getting reviews is refreshing, which is why I want to see more from strangers like you! What did you think of my book? How can I make my next one even better for you? Constructive feedback is crucial to ensuring that my next magnum opus is worthy of slaughtering a forest of criminal trees.

Madame Masque will be in Agent Carter season 2. She wasn’t one of my picks (seriously, where’re Jimmy Woo & Contessa?) to improve the show, but I’ll take any canon characters at this point. But then showrunner Michele Fazekas says “She never wears a gold mask, but you’ll see a nod to that.” WHY? That’s even worse than Daniel Whitehall without the Kraken helmet! It’s like they’re daring me not to tune in!

So that’ll probably be a bust for me again, but the suprisingly renewed ABC limited run series that hasn’t let me down is Galavant! If this anachronistic medieval musical comedy can strike a chord with audiences, there’s hope for The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose yet! Mosiaco Souveniry’s quatrains could  turn into extravagant musical numbers if someone were crazy enough to adapt it into a musical too!  It’d just need Evil Dead: The Musical levels of fake blood & some Muppety monsters. Call me, people who can make that happen on stage or screen!

I thought a Victorian episode of Sherlock would be pointless since Jeremy Brett already did all the classic stories, but it was pretty good. It would’ve been better if it was set 100% in the correct time period. It was basically a very roundabout way to confirm the Occam’s razor that Moriarity is now a facade. I also learned that if you can’t vote, you get a free pass on murder. Seems fair.

I finally read Outlander (not to be confused with Juan Sanchez Villa-Lobos Ramirez fighting drug crime IN SPACE or Jesus Christ fighting monsters FROM SPACE alongside Vikings). I’m conflicted between having really enjoyed spending time with the characters & thinking it was way too long. That the seven sequels are even longer is worrisome. The book features Chekhov’s rape threat & an unintentionally comedic rescue via cattle. I learned that it’s not bigamy if you time travel to before your spouse was born. My favorite bit was the Nessie cameo. I hope she didn’t get cut out of the TV adaptation.

After being underwhelmed by Supergirl’s midseason finale episode, this one managed to make the story worse than the half-baked hacking subplot. The highlight of the prior episode was Cat discovering Kara is Supergirl. I am so upset they instantly voided that. Cat was absolutely right that Kara could be saving people instead of being her harried gofer.  It’s not as if it’s a fulfilling job like her cousin being a renowned journalist.  If she doesn’t want the DEO to cover her bills, why not get a new job that’s relevant to her interests? We still don’t know anything about Kara’s career ambitions since her adoptive family  was keen to repress her. There’s no justification for her clinging to this job when she can still have friends at CatCo, which sadly does not manufacture mechanical cats.
What was the point of Astra letting herself be captured? She didn’t do anything insidious within the DEO, let alone convince Kara that her deeds are noble. (Swaying her would’ve worked better if she didn’t insist on personally battling her neice before discourse anyway.) She & her army still aren’t a compelling threat because I still don’t understand their goals or plans. They’re so nebulous even Superman can’t be bothered helping out against their extraterrestrial ex-con invasion.

Also, all life is not bound by blood! That only applies to most of the animal kingdom. Kryptonian aphorisms are made of exclusionary falsehoods!

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I stole this image from Price Peterson’s Golden Globes recap. It doesn’t make any more sense in context, but go read it anyway! Not only is this a  Supergirl/ F-Lash team-up, it also involves a Wendigo! I dig Wendigos! Perhaps it’s a Wendigo from Teen Wolf? Or maybe it’s Widmore Wayland for maximum obscurity! Personally I’ve my fingers crossed it’s one of Marvel’s Wendigos so it’d be an inter-company comic book crossover. If Angie becomes a Wendigo waitress, I’ll give Agent Carter season 2 a free pass!

If we all play “Lazarus” simultaneously, David Bowie will come back.

By Grabthar’s hammer, Alan Rickman shall be avenged!

Cancer is a absolute bastard to 69-year-old Englishmen with great voices this week.

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