Let’s All Ride Deadpool’s Coattails!

My  review of Deadpool garnered over 150 views within a day. (Does that post on Sunday count for this week’s blog quota or the last one?) I believe that’s a record for this blog, but feel free to fact check that for me. Since I’m not running ads at the moment, I’m quite impressed with this feat.  I’ve seen the movie twice but have been unsuccessful in obtaining one of the promotional Deadpool figurines. Death by Zamboni is still magical. X-Men: Apocalypse is going to be even more underwhelming in comparison!

The Wages of Cinema namedropped me about 3/4 through their review. Next time they should just ask me to record with them.

I’m happy that not only was Deadpool a great movie but also a highly successful one. Who would’ve thought an an accurate adaptation of a beloved character would do gangbusters? This is both good & bad for the future. James Gunn has already predicted Hollywood will learn all the wrong lessons as usual, which has saved me a lot of typing. There will be a lot of uninspired knock-offs on the horizon, but its success could be a boon for others. Fox wisely wants to make the next Wolverine movie R-rated so we can finally see him dismember folks with his Adamantium claws, but no word yet on whether he’ll finally fight Omega Red in a good costume. Suicide Squad would probably benefit from being R over PG-13. Please give me an R-rated Ghost Rider without Nic Cage! Of course the next big trend in comic book movies could be slashing their budget at the last moment.

The worst part about Fox losing the Daredevil rights is Deadpool can’t be rivals with Typhoid Mary & Bullseye in his sequel. I’d be way more excited about Daredevil season 2 if they were appearing instead of the Punisher. An adaptation of “Dead Reckoning” would be a neat idea for the sequel, mostly because a live action Tiamat riding an alien hound would be the bee’s knees. It’s also a seminal story that could give them enough elements to run wild with now that they’ll probably get whatever budget they desire. Sadly they won’t be able to use Captain America either. Since Longshot doesn’t have a movie in the works, a jaunt to the Mojoverse would be oodles of fun.

Stephen Lang as Cable is the right choice (not to be confused with Steven Lang). If not him, I could see Dolph Lundgren or Clancy Brown. There’s already a mock-up of Keira Knightley as Cable but it doesn’t look right without Cable’s crewcut. She’s a few decades too young & genderflipping Cable would excise too much homoeroticism. How about Keira Knightley as Rachel Summers Grey  (whose role in DOFP was given to Shadowcat after her role was given to Wolverine) with a ginger femullet to rival Angel Dust’s? Or she could play a merc named Dominoagain.

The Gravity Falls finale was stupendous! Watching it requires ample gun-swords & heart-punching. I don’t even mind that the humongous status quo change for a major character got immediately rolled back. Not only did it have nods to Over The Garden Wall & Twin Peaks (nothing for Eerie, Indiana?), just about everyone was given excellent closure. Although it’s finished the Mystery Twins have been known to pop up in the oddest places.

A Gravity Falls retrospective was one of the articles I had in the pipeline at Topless Robot before it was scuttled. Due to a provision in my freeelancer contract, however, I couldn’t shop it to another website until quite recently. It would’ve been most topical this week, but nobody has said yes yet.

Azrael will be coming to Gotham this season! I’ve been waiting for Azrael to get more mainstream exposure since Bane made the leap from the comics page, so I’m excited about this even though it’s a different character in the regalia. His costume’s not comic accurate, but you can still tell who it’s supposed to be. It needs more gold fleur-de-lis. This is also true of the Michael Lane version, who looks very Assassin’s Creed-ish. (There’s an alternate reality where Azrael has the popular video game franchise instead.) So I fixed my Arkham City Azrael  to how his costume should look:

0018

Where have I seen that book before?

0024

Better gold & red than dead!

Wouldn’t the Leg-Ends of Tomorrow be feet? This show got much better after Vandal Savage turned Hawkman into a punch bowl. I know they’ll meet other incarnations of Hawkman, but good riddance to him for the time being. (Hawkman can be a great character like in Tim Truman’s Hawkworld, but ever since Geoff Johns brought him back in JSA he’s unfortunately been written predominately as a jerky stalker.) Hawkgirl needs more time to develop by herself & hopefully fight Gentleman Ghost. Sara Lance is great at dress-up. I didn’t expect Dr. Martin Stein to be this engaging. The latest episode managed to make Stephanie Corneliussen even hotter!

Captain Cold’s charm is inversely proportional to Rip Hunter’s team management. I always thought of Captain Cold as a poor man’s Mr. Freeze (even though he debuted first), but Wentworth Miller’s arch sneering has completely won me over. (He also wrote Stoker!) The comic version looks more like Jake Busey, so the TV equivalent is handsomer too. Heatwave, who I also thought was a blander Firefly, has also proven to be surprisingly entertaining. He’s yet to be as aroused by Firestorm as Suphero Fight Club promised though. At first I thought it was a bummer to use these rogues on a team instead of Fire & Ice, but they’ve proven to be the most consistently enjoyable. Fire & Ice still ought to appear despite Reverse Flash claiming Fire died in the particle accelerator incident, but he said the same thing about Ronnie Raymond & Atom Smasher too.

I still don’t think a team of time-travelling superheroes vs.a guy that can’t time travel is a fair fight. Chronos seems like he’d be the more challenging opponent in that regard. The team has to get its act together soon. Maybe they will kill Savage sooner rather than later & realize the Time Masters were right about not mucking up the timestream. Then they can go back to fight their past selves to keep them from succeeding for peak wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey!

So in the spirit of the headline, if you enjoy self-aware comedy with gratuitous violence, take a chance on The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose! Come back next week to see if I’ll finally stop writing about Deadpool. Unless that’s the only thing you’d like to read about from now on?

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