Eventually This Will Have A Title

Rachel Skarsten responded to me nominating her for Stephfi the Marauderatrix in a The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose adaptation!

Tamsin the Valkyrie didn’t say she wouldn’t buff up to be in an adaptation of my obscure novel that hasn’t be greenlit yet, so this is going in the win column. Annet Mahendru liked my tweet about her playing Fairuza as well! Strike now while the iron is hot, TV & film producers!

You have a week to pay what thou will for twenty-four books with Booktrope Sci-fi & Thriller Humble Bundle!  You’ll be supporting charities (Freedom of the Press Foundation & Prevent Cancer Foundation) & getting $120 worth of wonderful indie eBooks at a great bargain of your choosing!

I still haven’t seen Jessica Jones or Daredevil season 2 yet, but I am caught up on Agents of SHIELD. Yay? So Simmons will make a Terrigensis-vaccine from Absorbing Man’s (actor Brian Patrick Wade’s real life wife, bodybuilder Jill Wade, should guest star as Titania to blur the divide with fiction) blood just to shut up people like me asking why Bucky is more important than an Inhuman population boom in Iron Man v. Captain America: Dawn of Vengeance Comics Alliance has already done the work for me of explaining why Coulson isn’t a good spy & Lincoln is possibly worse than Ward. (The Inhuman wearing Ward’s face moved up in the ranks slightly since getting a goop sacrifice scene.)

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I don’t have much experience in the spy world, but Mockingbird’s & Hunter’s forced departure didn’t make sense. Of course Coulson had to disavow them to the Russians who knew that SHIELD still exists since a hellicarrier clearly showed up during the Ultron fiasco, but why did they need to be discharged from the team once they were out of Russian custody? They don’t even need to be transferred off fieldwork, although it would’ve been helpful of SHIELD to give them cover identities for the mission instead on relying on the James Bond playbook. Keeping two top assets in play far outweighs being honorable to a nation SHIELD isn’t beholden to. And why was May still mad at Hunter over the botched Ward assassination when it was Coulson’s poor resource management that endangered the mission? If he’d called in Joey, who is much more charming than Lincoln, in on this latest mission he could’ve melted Powers Boothe’s motorcade in place to prevent his escape. Sometimes I doubt Coulson’s commitment to Sparkle Motion defeating HYDRA.

Vote for which four premium Marvel role play toys you want Hasbro to make next. Hint: You want to vote for Magneto’s helmet, Mjolnir, Black Widow’s gauntlets, & Wolverine’s mask.

I also saw the first season of Revenge. It’s kind of like (Green) Arrow minus the archery & salmon ladder. Every time they mentioned the Graysons, I thought of carnies.

Speaking of (Green) Arrow, how’d Cupid shoot two arrows in different directions simultaneously? I’m not sure if I should hate this blatant misunderstanding of how bows work or if such a feat should make me like Cupid even more? (I’m one of five people who enjoy Cupid because gimmick supervillains are best in life.) If Mr. Terrific’s (why’d they change his name from Michael Holt to Curtis Holt?) bio-chip can cure massive spinal damage so quickly, then  Queen Consolidated Palmer Tech needs to get that patented so the company can get back in black. Is it just me or did Trajectory look like Speedy?

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Okay, now I’m talking about The F-Lash, but the point stands. If any petite brunette in a red leather outfit & domino mask is going to be shooting up with superspeed steroids, it ought to be Thea Queen. Otherwise she’s going to be stuck with the least apt codename ever. Granted, Allison Paige doesn’t resemble Willa Holland quite as much as Kate Mara does. Willa looks more like Kate’s sister than Rooney. Therefore Willa Holland & Kate Mara ought to play Elven sisters sometime, preferably with matching Mohawks. If only I’d had the foresight to put be-Mohawked Elf sisters in The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose, the two of them could’ve had their photos in last week’s edition!

I’m so happy Riddler was able to thwart that pesky Gordon! I don’t think I’ve ever been so delighted to see one murderer get framed by another.

I was also pleased to see Lori “Tank Girl”  Petty on last week’s installment. As far as Gotham’s running gag of potential future Jokers goes, she represents the omniscient iteration. While it was wonderful that Matches Malone died without giving Bruce closure, I’m glad her “Joker” didn’t kill anyone directly. As much as post-Morrison Joker claims to able to shift into any story the narrative requires, he’s been in pretty much the same rut in the comics since at least A Death in the Family. It’s really difficult to still justify the authorities not sentencing him to all the death penalties regardless of insanity pleas when he mass murders every appearance. I don’t mind the Joker killing & maiming when it’s done cleverly & over-the-top like a punchline, but too often they seem so obligatory & banal that I’ve become desensitized to his current shtick. So rather than being an wild card, modern Joker’s become too predictable. To really reinvigorate him, we need a Joker whose crimes don’t involve killing & isn’t obsessed with Batman. That would really shatter Batman’s titanic ego.

I just learned that STAR Movies India watched FILLER! back before it was even on YouTube. I always like hearing the international reaction to my work. Flabber was the first site out of the Low Countries to give it any notoriety. As OniPepper, the now defunct German website, once wrote “Das könnte Uwe Boll nicht besser machen!”

Since you liked my reviews of Star Wars: The Force Awakens & Deadpool so much (or at least clicked them most often with hatred in your hearts), I’m going to review Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice for you next blog. I’ll probably have lots of spleen to vent, which might inspire me to post it as early as this weekend. What if it was actually titled Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Just Ice, meaning only Ice was being introduced? (Fire would be excluded because WB is a cruel mistress.)

 

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