Bebop & Rocksteady Improve Everything!

I was one of a rare group of people to both see Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out Of The Shadows in the cinema & enjoy it. The upside to liking a movie that bombed is that its merchandise gets discounted sooner!

I took advantage of the franchise’s misfortune to acquire the giant-size Rocksteady & Bebop for a quarter off at Toys R Us! Then I had to repaint them because Playmates barely put any effort into it, especially on Bebop. Much like its Classics Bebop (which I also customized & should eventually show you), the movie Bebops are inexplicably whitewashed. Rocksteady includes the Neegan-style club wrapped in barbed wire & festooned with nails, except it’s been toned down for safety so it looks like it’s wrapped in a rosary. They should’ve given him the sledgehammer instead. Neither was born with fingernails. Much research was put into them looking more like their cinematic doppelgangers.

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Please proceed to a plethora of pictures, punks!

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You’ll notice the paint rub at their joints. It’s especially noticeable at this scale. Even multiple coats of fixative can’t stop paint from shearing off when joints are moved. The solution would be to turn them into statues to avoid friction altogether, but I’m sacrificing aesthetics for articulation.

Playmates made an SDCC exclusive Bebop on a vac-metalized motorcycle that already has the helmetless head so I don’t have to perform a headswap. Of course he’s still too pale & his ride is missing the “tusks” of the real deal. It’s still not worth convention prices. Why do a special Bebop variant without a matching Rocksteady anyway?

During my quest for TMNT:OOTS bargains, I realized there was Bebop & Rocksteady apparel to be had. Instead of all carrying the same t-shirt designs, I was surprised to find the major department stores all had their own exclusive TMNT shirts. I went with Target’s Bebop & Rocksteady shirt because it was more vibrant  than the Kohl’s version. It cost me six whole Earth dollars! I had my order shipped to my nearest store, but Target didn’t check my receipt or ID when I picked it up. For all they knew, I could’ve been a thief intercepting someone’s rightfully purchased TMNT t-shirt! Their names have a raised gummy texture akin to Puff Paint that I was not expecting.

Bebop & Rocksteady Destroy Everything! was tons of fun! It was like the TMNT homage to Doctor Who & Bill & Ted. It even contains a Wyld Stallyns-esque musical number! Nearly living up to its title, the entire spacetime continuum is imperiled as Bebop & Rocksteady have a falling out. Dustin Weaver’s & Ben Bates’s story was more outright humorous the core IDW series, so I could easily see it being adapted to the current TMNT cartoon. Having a few different artists in the same issues  was a tad jarring at times. The FootCruiser made a comeback! I was disappointed that Wingnut & Screwloose only had a cameo. Savanti Romero can’t catch a break. I could go for a Nightbug mini-series. There’s enough wibbley-wobbley timey-wimey to give you seizures, but it’s hard to stay made at something that features the birth of the BopSteady-Verse.

The cartoon is finally back for the second half of season four with a very loose adaptation of “City At War.” April O’Neil gets an inverted Beatrix Kiddo outfit & a tanto for completing her ninja training. We get introduced to brand new character Shinigami who has dope taste in capes & hats. Her being pals with Karai expands the possibilities for passing the Bechdel-Wallace test without having to ponder Utrom gender.  SHINIGAMI HAS TIGER CLAW’S EYE IN HER KUSARIGAMA! (Ignore the explanation on her design sheet!) Where’d Casey go after the first scene? Chris Bradford kicks dolphins! Master Splinter adorably nibbling on a cheese popsicle makes up for it being light on Rock-n- Bop. (This or BopSteady are much less ambiguous ‘ship names than R&B.)

Playmates Toys has yet again postponed production of Classics versions of Shredder & Krang due to poor sales of numerous Classics turtles variants. Meanwhile their license blocks NECA from releasing its 6″ TMNT toys as anything but convention exclusives. The Biotroid has been cancelled for being slightly more expensive than the basic line’s MSRP. Grodd forbid they make a deluxe line or experiment with Build-A-Figures for all the oversized characters. The non-mutated Karai is finally coming out sans elbow & wrist joints. Those would’ve been much more useful than her half mask. UGH. You used to be cool, Playmates!

 

A repainted Enchantress  (no, not that one) is going to be in the Doctor Strange Marvel Legends series so I’m really glad I resisted buying a loose one from the SDCC The Raft set at insane eBay prices. I was expecting her in next year’s Thor series, but early is better.

Unsurprisingly, the winner of the ML Fan Vote is Songbird. Hopefully they’ll put more effort into her, like translucent energy wings & her power-amplifying collar, than their cancelled 2013 prototype. Since the runners-up to last year’s winner, Darkhawk & another symbiote Spidey, are also getting toys alongside Angela in 2017, it’s likely Songbird’s competitors will also be made in plastic. Let’s hear it for low stakes & illusions about the importance of democracy!

After announcing casting for Mirror Master, even more news dropped about the CW DC shows at the TCA. There will be a musical The F-Lash & Supergirl crossover! (Still no word on whether Warwick Davis as Mr. Mxyzptlk will compel them to belt out show tunes.) We’re going to visit Gorilla City, where the grass is green & the primates are pretty, for a two-parter! Lance Henriksen will be the older than expected Obsidian! (Where’s his twin sister, Jade?) The new Vixen wears her granddaughter’s clothes! The Ray is getting a micro-cartoon series! Dolph Lundgren will be a baddie on (Green) Arrow! It’s almost a sure bet Alex Danvers will be a canonical lesbian! Shannon Leal as Miss Martian is coming to National City! The pod contained … Mon-El. Well they can’t all be winners.

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My glass half-full review of Suicide Squad became my second blog entry to amass 1,000 views! (Before last week, I had money riding on my Deadpool review being second.) It joins “Ugh, Stop Trying to Make ‘JEMMACIDE’ Happen!” in the 1K Club. This has been another installment of “Metrics Even My Cat Doesn’t Feign Interest In.”

 

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