Day Of The Jackal Lantern!

Guess what I made this year for pumpkin carving?

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It’s a jackal lantern! (Curse your spoiler, you dumb headline!) Get it? Sometimes puns are sight gags too! I was considering giving it a Wedjat Eye to decrease the resemblance to an aardvark until I noticed Anubis isn’t usually depicted with one. Learning that real jackals don’t look as classy as ancient Egyptians led me to believe may be the biggest disappointment of my life since I discovered pumpkin pie doesn’t taste anywhere near as good as I imagined pumpkins ought to taste. (Reality never meets my great expectations!) My cat is too scaredy to eat in the same room as the Jack-o-lantern. She was fine with my Ewok-o-lantern, but she draws a line in the litter at canines.

I joked about Lucy Lane being absent for Supergirl, but I chalked it up to having too many characters to juggle during the two-part premiere. It turns out Jenna Dewan Tatum actually isn’t returning. This is quite abrupt since Martian Manhunter recently made her co-director of the DEO & she didn’t get a departure scene like Cat. It’s like the show just forgot she existed. I don’t know whether it’s because she inexplicably despises Vancouver, she’s the victim of budget cuts, or if the writers didn’t know what to do with her when her role expanded from obstacle. This is a bummer since I was hoping Lucy Lane would suit up as Superwoman.

President Olivia Marsdin is introduced as a really enlightened human ally of alien refugees, but at the end it’s heavily implied she’s an alien (after implying that she’s Themysciran because Lynda Carter). If she’s an alien, that makes her Presidency unconstitutional. Doesn’t this exemplify exactly the sort of unethical duplicity of aliens that Lena & Snapper raised concerns about? Wouldn’t it be a morally clearer message if she wasn’t gaming the system by pretending to be human? Needing a disguised alien to do the right thing on the planet’s behalf seems more cynical than this optimistic show could be prepared to delve into. Of course if Madame President is revealed to have been born stateside to extraterrestrials, I won’t have to fret about whether her administration is legal.

Unlike Miss Martian, I’m not seeing what Mon-El adds. He’s even got the same house name as Kara & Kal! Don’t tell me they scuttled all her human romances & brought him in as a replacement just so they wouldn’t have to navigate “Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex” in reverse. If Supergirl is going to hook up with anyone from the Legion of Superheroes, it ought to be Brainiac-5!

When Alex told Mon-El to freeze, why’d the DEO’s window suddenly open by itself for him to fly away? Wouldn’t it make more sense that their windows remain closed until specifically opened, the way windows have worked since forever? You’d think the DEO would have a failsafe that it would only automatically open for Supergirl so hostile prisoners couldn’t just fly off. The restriction could even be encoded in a detainee’s tracking bracelet. Martian Manhunter is all paranoid bark & no bite about security. Yes, this tiny detail irritated me enough that I had to spend a whole paragraph on how nonsensical it is.

Odds on whether Lena the adopted Luthor is an alien too?

The F-Lash finally got around to Mirror Master! And he’s Scottish … on Earth-2. Bummer. Maybe they can run into him on the way to Gorilla City where the foliage is green & the primates are pretty? Earth-1’s American Mirror Master wasn’t bad though. He, like most rogues, just needs a costume. Where’s Paul Gambi, Central City’s tailor to the supervillains, when you need him? I had to rewatch the end to understand why the Droste effect of infinite mirror regression would backfire on him, so they could’ve demonstrated that more.

We were also introduced to his girlfriend,  a genderbent version of The Top. She doesn’t spin like Whirlwind, probably because the Weather Wizards & evil speedsters already do enough tornadoes. At least Jesse Quick, spiffy in her slick supersuit straight off Trajectory’s disintegrated corpse, gave her a twirl before punching out her lights. This version induces vertigo, so we finally got the topsy-turvy POV shots (Green) Arrow skimped on whenever poor man’s Joker The Count or accented Scarecrow Vertigo were around. Maybe she should just be Countess Vertigo from now on? So now when do we finally get a full-on Rogues team-up story?

Tom Cavanagh went full Tatiana Maslany as a myriad of multiversal Harrison Wellses. It was fun! If he doesn’t get an Emmy, can he at least be Multiple Man the next time Fox forgets they already used an X-Men character?

I suffer from a medical condition that makes me happy whenever Ghost Rider does something on Agents of SHIELD. For some reason I’m not even mad when Robbie Reyes uses chains despite that being Danny Ketch’s signature weapon. What deviltry hath overcome me?

In the same week she claimed the life of rodent #10, my kitty got her eleventh! She just had to kill in it such a way as it would be most stressful to me. She dropped the squeaker in front of me just as I was heading to bed. After watching her play with it for thirty minutes, the varmint managed to escape. When I woke up, she was battling it anew. I wanted to make sure she actually dispatched it this time, but I also didn’t want to miss my bus. Fortunately she bit its head off in the nick of time. I guess I’ll find out in a few days whether or not it was the same mouse or if the one from the evening scurried into some hidden nook to stink up the place with its demise.

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I was told my stats would spike if I included a photo of a naked pussy.

My top 5 Canadian werewolf movies:
1. Ginger Snaps
2. Ginger Snaps II: Unleashed
3. WolfCop
4. Le poil de la bête
5. Ginger Snaps Back: The Beginning

It’s possible that these may be ALL the Canadian werewolf movies.

Next week Doctor Strange will be late for Halloween! (Unless you live in a country that has already gotten it & or doesn’t celebrate Samhain.) I don’t know whether I’ll postpone my blog until after I’ve seen the movie for a review or if it’ll be one of those weeks where you get two blogs in quick succession.

Stay spooky out there at the monster mash, kids! Just stay away from graveyard smashes because cemetery vandalism isn’t cool!

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