I’m Thankful For Game Of Thrones

My dad shot me in the thigh with a Cold Steel razor tip broadhead blow gun dart. I am thankful he missed my genitals by three inches. I really should’ve led with that … so I did! Somehow this will be useful background research.

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In backwards-vision, divulging my only weakness to strangers was a mistake.

Game of Thrones season six came out on DVD earlier than expected this year, & watching it has been cathartic. The following contains spoilers for this season you’ve probably already seen & maybe some books that haven’t been written yet.

It was nice to see so many tertiary characters I thought they’d forgotten about. (I’m still waiting on Nymeria’s triumphant return.) While watching “The Winds of Winter” where winter finally comes to Westeros (do they need to worry about erratic seasons in Essos as well or is it localized to one continent?), it snowed outside! I’m am very excited for next season’s Clash of Queens, even if it’s lopsided against Cersei.

Naturally Daenerys’s dragons saved the day! Ride that one-trick pony all the way to victory! The only reason not to immediately use dragon babies to solve political conflicts is to prolong her story-line with the illusion of tension. Of course if all of Daenerys’s problems can be easily solved by the application of dragons, maybe they should be presenting her with different ones?

I’m not sure about how I feel about The Hound’s return. On the one paw, I thought his unglamorous death was fitting & prefer they keep a “dead means dead” rule even if we don’t see the body. On the other paw, I quite enjoy The Hound. It’s also confusing that in the show Ian McShane’s preacher said he found The Hound clinging to life whereas in an interview Ian McShane said he resurrected him. Which McShane was speaking sooth? Either way, I prefer having The Hound around to the books’ Lady Stoneheart. He needs to resume wearing his gnarly helmet though.

R.I.P. Roose Bolton, Ramsay Bolton, Walder Frey, & Margaery Baratheon nee Tyrell. I’m on Team Cunning Bastards, so I’m honestly heartbroken these social climbers won’t be running Westeros at the end of the tale. They’re so much worthier than the blandly upstanding & guileless Starks!

The worst part of the season was than Jon Snow stopped being dead! The only way I would’ve accepted this was if his mind was permanently warged inside of Ghost’s body. He doesn’t seem to have suffered any drawbacks to his resurrection since he’s ostensibly the Chosen One. It didn’t even get rid of his perpetually confused expression. UGH. Jon Snow is an insipid moron unfit to be Warden of the North! He would’ve gotten all his forces slaughtered at the Battle of the Bastards if it wasn’t for Littlefinger’s army. With all the queens awesomely seizing power, it was disappointing that the North got stuck with this schmuck by default.

Gotham’s Grindhouse trailer is great.

The fourth series of Gotham action figures will be Azrael, inexplicably helmetless Mr. Freeze, & Professor Hugo Strange. Let’s hear if for BD Wong & James Frain toys! It’s nifty that Azrael gets an unmasked head. Diamond Select says they will include the requisite sword, freeze ray, & Hugo’s rose-tinted spectacles.  Since this series is another sausage party, the fifth should consist of Tabitha Galavan, Firefly, Fish Mooney, & Dr. Leslie Thompkins. That’s one more than they usually make, but Morena Baccarin deserves an action figure since Funko never made an Inara for Firefly.

I’m delighted The LEGO Batman movie will spotlight so many obscure Bat-foes if the toy tie-ins are to be believed. Hopefully they’ll get more than cameos. They’ve even got The Mime! She developed misophonia from being the heiress to a fireworks mogul & committed belfry burglaries to raise awareness for the need for public arts funding. So not only is she the non-grimdark prototype for Murmur, The Mime is also the character most likely to be mistaken for Amanda Palmer.

Warren Ellis would write a J. Jonah Jameson series but he doesn’t think it’s going to happen now that he’s not running The Daily Bugle. As a fan of Transmetropolitan & Triple J, I got really excited then really disappointed.

Lin-Manuel Miranda would like to play Carnage. Personally I’d pick John C. McGinley, but Miranda’s almost an EGOT so Marvel Studios might as well indulge his dream. Hopefully they’ll let him be more Ryan Reynolds in Deadpool than Ryan Reynolds in X-Men Origins: Wolverine. I survived experiencing Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark firsthand, so I’d be keen on cantata Carnage killing sprees.

Last week’s “This Custom Is A Rogue One” was not the SEO clickbait miracle for which I had hoped. (It’s not an inaccurate headline, merely a misleading one.) Perhaps it’ll do better when Star Wars: Rogue One hits theaters in a few weeks? You can read it now, however, if you’re a stinkin’ mutie lover.

Looking at the stats so far, November has not been a particularly successful month as far as readership goes. So if this is because you’ve been displeased with articles as of late, you can always give me constructive feedback in the comments or on one of the blog’s social profiles (linked in the corner heart icon). If you are a fan of what I’ve been doing, however, please share these articles around. There are roughly a gazillion different blogs out there (not to mention professional sites that overlap with my areas of interest), so your positive word of mouth is paramount to support this thing I do when I should be focusing on my difficult second novel. I’m always thankful for your readership.

I have long-awaited The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose updates! Lethe Press has begun the editing process for its edition! Due to the later than expected start, the original plan to get the new edition out in autumn of this year is no longer on the table. If the process runs smoothly from here on out, you’ll definitely be able to get your paws on the Lethe Press edition of The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose in early 2017!

Happy Thanksgiving if you celebrate it! I’m off to watch the Gilmore Girls revivification! If you guessed that I’ll soon be discussing the CW’s “Invasion!” crossover, you are very good at prognosticating!

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