Last week I reviewed the entire
four-part three-part “Invasion!” crossover on the CW. You should go check that out since I went to the trouble of making five non-memetic pictures for it. Its sneakiest Easter Egg is the Hall of Justice hangar existing to construct the Justice League’s Watchtower satellite headquarters! Stagg Industries is a partner on the project, but nobody wants to avenge its CEO’s timeline-corrupting murder.
This week, I start talking about the genre shows going into hibernation. Didn’t the fall season just start two months ago? It doesn’t feel like any have aired a half season’s worth of episodes to warrant going on mid-season hiatuses yet. One-third season finales sounds more accurate. That means I’ll have to start blogging about books again soon.
So The Flash‘s
Bayformers Megatron Savitar is the first metahuman with a grudge against Barry for trapping him into the Speed Force in the future (distinct from Barry throwing the Philosopher’s Stone into the Speed Force in the present)? Or he may be a resurrected Zoom since he’s familiar with the STAR Labs gang. Maybe they’ll tack Max Mercury’s name onto Savitar’s true identity to double down on divinity? It still doesn’t explain where he got all those human cultists from or how they enhance the narrative. I don’t buy that Savitar the stabby speedster is going to kill Iris, especially after all the heat (Green) Arrow took for killing both its Black Canaries.
Everybody was on the money predicting Dr. Julian Albert, who apparently got the same mail order archaeology degree as Dr. June Moon, was Dr. Alchemy before the season even began. Never trust anyone with two first names! Julian made some salient points about how Barry Allen sucks, so I’m glad they didn’t undercut them by making Julian intentionally evil. He’s more like Savitar’s ventriloquist dummy, which makes all those times Dr. Alchemy talked about how awesome Savitar is narcissistic. I dig Dr. Alchemy’s steampunk plague doctor mask. Unlike his comic book counterpart, Dr. Alchemy hasn’t actually done any alchemy unless you consider giving away metahuman powers an update on alchemy as a metaphor for self-actualization. I now ship Caitlin (who really needs psychiatric help for that dissociative Killer Frost identity she’s been manifesting) with Julian so she can get the hat trick for doomed boyfriends.
The year’s best live action Joker isn’t even the Joker. That would be damning with faint praise if I was talking about anyone besides Mark Hamill. That cameo feels like an epic middle finger to Jared Leto. Now that Star Wars is a thing again, the CW really ought to be promoting The Trickster more.
(Green) Arrow featured some solid acting wrapped up in a lackluster story. I do appreciate that they reminded anyone that noped out for the crossover that an alien invasion incited by time travel hijinks really happened. This week it’s back to basics with a downer episode of the heroes embarrassing themselves.
If Artemis is so mad at Green Arrow for having killed arguably deserving people, why did she betray him to the guy who kills innocent people with anagram names? So Speedy only suited up to give Ollie a rooftop pep-talk? They weren’t going to use the buddy system against Prometheus? Green Arrow is tricked by the blackguard into killing Felicity’s boyfriend because he forgot to put net-arrows in his quiver. (At least Felicity is sensible enough to hold Prometheus responsible.) Mr. Terrific’s husband, who previously had all the personality of ambulatory furniture, leaves because Curtis has been thrashed one too many times. (He really needs to supplement his Olympian skills with T-Spheres to stop being taken down like a punk each episode.) Diggle got arrested as a fugitive, so it’s too bad he didn’t ask for a Presidential pardon last week for fighting off alien hordes. Laurel stopped being dead, which might’ve been more shocking if they hadn’t been determined to spoil her return for months. TV is really terrible at keeping secrets nowadays.
Prometheus (whose mask still looks too much like Ragman’s) is the illegitimate son of somebody even worse Matin Shkreli that they just revealed was killed by Ollie during season one? It’s a bit out of character since Ollie was murdering bodyguards not their fat cat employers back then. (They can keep going back to the Flashpoint well to explain away these glaring retcons.) That is not how a dramatic reveal works. Prometheus would be much more compelling if he was the son of an innocent guard felled in the line of duty. Even if it’s a red herring, it’s not an enticing one. Somehow this bastard instantly found out Green Arrow’s identity four years ago & convinced all his mentors to also train him after the arduous process of tracking them down. None of these mentors thought to warn Oliver about him? My credulity would be less strained if he just downloaded all of Green Arrow’s moves directly into his motor cortex via a sci-fi helmet.
Agents of SHIELD, the series that was frightened out of its time-slot by Scream Queens, wrapped up its Ghost Rider arc nicely with a bonus tease for the next. We’re finally going to have LMDs decoying for established agents. Still no hint of Gravitonium though.
The prior episode showing half the team trapped in another dimension was very well done. Ada the android (technically a gynoid, but robotics is another field where male terms remain predominant regardless of accuracy) knitting together an extradimensional energy lattice based on binary instructions from The Darkhold was so keen! (I had an idea for a magical robot, but SHIELD just had to scoop me!) This just raises more questions about the sling-rings included with enrollment in Doctor Strange’s mystic arts master course. She even has a good reason to be programmed to feel pain.
Not only was it a well played swerve, Eli Morrow was solid as an understated villain. Although he’s another evil father figure, his resentment at being marginalized & the unintentional way he hurt his nephews made him stand out from the herd. His engineering acumen allowed him to make a doomsday device that didn’t look like your typical sky beam. His transmutation powers seem more appropriate to Dr. Alchemy than the ones he uses on The Flash. I’m a sucker for villains that teleport matter where it ought not be.
They finally let Yo-Yo have her own Quicksilver/Flash superspeed scene. She got Turtle Man (not to be confused with the dead one on The Flash) to kiss her too. It looks those who want Coulson & May to quit being platonic pals might get their wish next year.
Director Mace got a costume, & it doesn’t look bad. It doesn’t look much like his Patriot costume, but that’s not a great loss aside from expanding the show’s color palate. I do wish they’d given him a finned mask like Legends of Tomorrow’s Citizen Steel (as I’m the only person that prefers looking at that doofy helmet to his doofy hair). I’m glad they’re not making Mace a full antagonist (so far), especially since he’s right that Coulson’s crew has been crummy to him.
In the third episode of Gilmore Girls: A Day In The Life, keep an eye out for Nat Compton. I went to school with Eric Henry, the actor who plays the breakout character of 2016! Then watch the hottest whaling lecture in the finale!
Dear NECA, please make an Aliens Jonsey with smiling Ripley in jacket!
Beaver goes Christmas shopping! This is really all you need in a conclusion.