2016’s Final Casualty Will Be Itself

Welcome to the first blog after our one hundredth! It’s also the last I’ll be writing this year. We’re almost out of 2016! At first I thought people were overreacting about how bad 2016 was, but the year wore me down too. Even my first publisher went belly up. This is specifically not a retrospective post, however, because the year hasn’t finished yet.

To the future we must point our gaze! The big question is now whether 2016 will be slain by the greenery of 2017 or will this year snuff itself out?  Good riddance to 2016! Welcome, 2017!* Now I’ll use the metaphor of annual death & rebirth to segue into an iZombie & X-Men mashup that loses its mirth if you analyze it within the bounds of either fandom.

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Both Anna Paquin & Rose McIver were in The Piano!

Before Inhumans vs. X-Men IvX #1 even hit the stands, Marvel announced its big push for the X-Men line will be called ResurrXion. So I guess we know the merry mutants make it out of the race war okay. Now I want to know whether Marvel’s  petty plan to replace mutants with Inhumans backfired financially now that the Inhumans got demoted to TV in favor of easy Spider-Man money, or if Marvel is just conceding they don’t need to choose between exploiting either side.

The most exciting news is that Rachel will finally be getting a codename, Prestige, that she didn’t steal from her mom & a cape! The bad news is that the original X-Men & old man Logan are still polluting the present. Go back to your own timelines already! Weapon X is basically the X-Force Stab Squad. I still hate putting mutant students in British boarding school uniforms almost as much as I hate the original X-Men uniforms. Even the throwbacks to eras I like such as X-Men: Gold being an 80’s roster with retro costumes is leaving me lukewarm. Why does Uncanny Avengers get to keep Rogue? When’s Jubilee getting her mutant powers back? Where’s Gambit & all the B-list muties I miss? How is this both too nostalgic & not nostalgic enough? Is this Schrödinger’s relaunch? So overall Marvel is still not making me excited to be an X-fan. At least Gerry Duggan isn’t leaving Deadpool.  Much more thrilling is that the biggest selling point of Shadowcat, Lockheed, could be in the New Mutants movie!

Members of Bern & the Brights & Plastiq Passion have fused into a new trio named Nylund. (These bands, however, will continue to exist outside of this collaboration.) You can listen to its first single, “Hell Yes,” while awaiting a full album sometime in 2017.

I was recently introduced to the musical stylings of Bone & Marrow. It reminds me slightly of Jethro Tull since a flute features. The art design on their Introspectator CD is particularly eye-catching.

Squirrel Girl retweeted my milestone blog! It’s been known for a while that Ms. Marvel Binary Warbird Captain Marvel will be making her movie debut in The Avengers: Infinity War (unless they sneak her into Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. II’s post-credits scene), but they should squeeze in Squirrel Girl too. The stinger could be a mysterious hand reaching out to a battle ravaged Iron Man to ask “TONY STARK, YOU CONSUME THE FRESHEST OF MEMES?” She’s how you solve a problem like blinged-out Darkseid.

Doctor Who finally returned with another special tangentially related to Christmas. “The Return of Doctor Mysterio” may have had one of the least tense hostage situation climaxes, but it featured another charming entry in the Better Superman Than Batman V. Superman competition. (I didn’t completely loathe BVS:DOJ, but it’s embarrassing to WB that the year’s worst Superman is the one in the multi-million dollar blockbuster.) Calling him Doctor Mysterio makes me sad Peter Capaldi didn’t dress up like the real Mysterio. (Now I’m mad Mysterio isn’t in the MCU yet all over again!)

Sadly this snazzy stained glass Dalek won’t be in Moffat’s final series. Is Peter Jackson finally going to direct an episode in exchange for an RTD Dalek? Can Capaldi & Michelle Gomez please stick around through the impending era of Chibnall? Will we ever get another main companion who isn’t a contemporary Earth woman?

The Beaverton has become my new favorite Canadian news satire show. (This is at least technically correct as it’s newer than The Mercer Report & This Hour Has 22 Minutes.) Now I even understand The Indian Act. I trust it because it’s got the classiest logo!

*Flash forward one year: 2017 was soooo much worse than 2016! How could we all have been so naive?

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