Who’s Ready For Spider-Man Fatigue?

The trailer for Black Panther is awesome, even if his tweaked costume still isn’t gold-accented. Contrariwise, the more buzz I hear for Spider-Man: Homecoming, the less I’m excited for it.  The final poster is not good. The Vulture’s personality & gear seems more suited to Beetle. (It seems likely Hannah John-Kamen will be the Janice Lincoln version in Ant-Man & the Wasp. Does that mean Tombstone will appear too?) Zendaya is playing an existing character under an alias as if the reveal of her true identity is supposed to be some dramatic surprise? There’s already too much Iron Man in his ugly Ultimates armor. The bastards broke seven LEGO Death Stars just for one gag.

Now Spider-Man’s suit greets him by announcing his secret identity. This is a huge design flaw that could’ve been easily avoided. The new moral is that Spidey must show great responsibility to prove himself worthy of the Stark’s high-tech clothing? (If Sony & Marvel could’ve shared Venom too, this would be a better opportunity to set up that spinoff movie. Tom “No one cared who I was until I put on the symbiote.” Hardy starring as Venom is exciting casting that would’ve been even better if TDKR’s Bane was on Venom, but apparently his solo movie won’t tie-in with the MCU Spidey’s adventures to the detriment of both studios.) I still don’t like either of his costumes that carried over from IMvCA: DoV. The one in the upcoming Playstation video game is more appealing for trying something new instead of being an inferior copy of the classic suit compared to Raimi’s trilogy & Amazing Spider-Man 2.

I have such Spidey fatigue that I don’t know if I even want to see it in cinema. I didn’t even watch the last two in theatres because they lacked J. Jonah Jameson, & this cashgrab is making the same mistake (unless that’s who Zendaya’s secret identity is). On the other paw, I’m sure a review will appeal to more readers than a Sisyphean blog trying to make my toils at writing a difficult second novel sound fascinating. (I just typed up the chapter where a vintage MechaGodzilla model is built! I kinda feel like I should quit while I’m ahead.) Can I run a very timely review of Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark instead? Maybe I’ll watch it but buy another ticket to GOTG 2 or Wonder Woman at the box office. What say you?

A fortnight ago, a ran an overview of Riverdale because I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to write my Wonder Woman review within the week. I was advised to get it out sooner as Riverdale was already cooling off. Maybe I should’ve saved it for this week as there’s not much to write of?

Do you ever have an idea for a TV show that’s too beautiful to happen? Last week, I posited that Gotham’s dearly departed Barbara Kean should become a genderswapped Gentleman Ghost next season. Unfortunately this will probably remain another unfulfilled dream like Jemmacide on Agents of SHIELD. (If Gotham’s not going to use Gentleman Ghost, Legends of Tomorrow or The Flash need to snap him up!) Of course, I’d also support Stabby Babs being resurrected as Killer Moth. Seriously, what’s taking Gotham so long to do Killer Moth? If Butch can inexplicably be Solomon Grundy, why can’t Babs become a canon supervillain too? Join me in harassing Gotham’s writers until this folly becomes reality!

ghostmoth

Sometimes Google comes up with exactly the incredibly specific image I need on the first try & I don’t even need to write a joke for it!

I was unpacking groceries from the supermarket, & a bottle of Bertolli vodkacracked open without having smashed into anything. The sauce was scooped into another jar & quickly refrigerated. The next time I made campanelle vodka with shrimp, I noticed it had some  bits that were exceptionally crunchier than the anchovies & garlic I’d added.  So it should come as no surprise that I ate glass shards! That’s what I get for being so mean! Add that to the list of items I had no business consuming! Alas, the waste of damn good sauce could not be avoided. I recommend jazzing up any dish with ground-up glass for getting the full prison cuisine experience without the hassle of going to prison.

James Gunn tweeted that he had a Quasar VCR, & Brea Grant chimed in that she did too.  This means Brea Grant is destined to play Phyla-Vell in GOTG vol 3! You heard it here first! Now just spam all the social media outlets with this until the prophecy is fulfilled. (There’s a lot of that going around this blog.)  Gunn better not botch it by going with Wendell Vaughn instead. Between Quasar, Adam Warlock, the original Ravagers, & possibly Rocket Raccoon’s origin, the third installment is going to be packed to the gills.

It is with great sadness that we mourn the passing of Adam West. Farewell, old chum!

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