Toys & Trailers of SDCC 2017!

Thanks for choosing my blog to absorb your armchair SDCC 2017 coverage from! SDCC remains the statistically safest place to avoid comic book news. As someone who has been to San Diego Comic Con ONCE, you can count on me! After all, my SDCC prediction from last week came true! Lots of stuff happened, so I will do my best to ignore that thing you actually wanted to read about! Click on down because we’ve got the bait!

The best SDCC exclusive is NECA’s thirtieth anniversary TMNT cartoon set. If anyone stood between me & it, no jury in the world would convict me of murder. Luckily I managed to order one in advance. So now I can save my “get out of jail free because toys” card. They even shipped it to me before the convention began! On the other paw, I doubt I will ever even see Playmates’ SDCC Usagi Yojimbo in person because the mad bastards made a whopping 350! (Stan Sakai wrote the first episode of Usagi’s guest appearance!)  TMNT as Ghostbusters is the best encapsulation of my childhood! NECA is doing video game versions of Slash, General Tragg, & Granitor, whom will most likely be limited to pricey convention exclusives due to Playmates’ retail master license.

Surprisingly, my favorite Marvel Legends reveal may be Liefeldian Cable with his translucent eye glow. I still like my Toy Biz Mysterio, but I may get Hasbro’s new edition since it gets a brand new sculpt. I was resigned to him having painted-on lines, but they actually etched them on! I’m confused why they went the extra mile since I can’t think of anyone the body could be recycled for as classic Shocker & Gamora have different textures. (It’s extra odd considering the deluxe Black Widow with motorcycle has an absurdly cheap painted-on belt when Hasbro already has a mold for her belt tooled.) To cancel out his cost, the next Spider-Man line includes obscure symbiote Lasher as a cheap repaint. The next X-Men series has Apocalypse for its BAF, which doesn’t bode well for getting Sauron soon.


Legion’s Noah Hawley is writing a Doctor Doom movie! Latveria praise him! I mentioned how a Doctor Doom film would be better than another Fantastic Four during the Spider-Man: Homecoming podcast review, so I’m taking responsibility for willing this into existence. Cast Mads Mikkelsen or Christoph Waltz as the lead next!

In Infinity War, Thanos appears under-dressed to make himself less distinguishable from Darkseid. It’s not a wise move as the bling was his big selling point. Nobody even wants to look at him on the poster! If you replace them all with a single Squirrel Girl, there’ll be no need for part two. The dramatic cliffhanger for part one could be Phil Coulson revealing to his superfriends that he came back to life years ago then finding out Maria Hill already spoiled the surprise.

Inhumans, the substitute X-Men movie that got kicked to the TV curb as soon as Spider-Man: Homecoming serendipitously fell onto Marvel Studios’ schedule, still looks inhumanly dull, which is why I haven’t mustered up the energy to thoroughly mock it. See the gray concrete walls of Attilan in thrilling IMAX!

Marvel still hasn’t released quality versions of the Captain Marvel concept art blurrily photographed at its panel. She’s going to be fighting a secret invasion of Skrulls in the 1990’s because Marvel Studios suddenly likes secret retcon superheroes. The eventual MCU Ms. Marvel can brag about being a fan of Captain Marvel before the world knew she existed.

Speaking of retcons, Michelle Pfeiffer will be replacing Hayley Lovitt as Janet “The Wasp” Van Dyne in Ant-Man & The Wasp. Laurence Fishburne will be Dr. Bill “Black Goliath” Foster, & Randall Park is SHIELD agent Jimmy Woo. I speculated Hannah John-Kamen would play Beetle, but she’ll actually be a genderswapped Ghost. Can Walton Goggins please be Whrlwind, Taskmaster, or Stilt-Man?

Thor: Ragnorak released a new trailer that spoils even more key action beats. It still looks Hela good!

The tagline for Gotham season 4 is specifically “Dawn Of Night,” not Dawn of Knight? Jonathan Crane is finally out of his coma & ready to spray fear gas at everyone! A teen terrorism spree won’t look good on his university applications, but maybe it’ll help him land an Arkham Asylum internship. In addition to Scarecrow, Harley Quinn will definitely not be appearing! Stabby Babs is back, but she doesn’t look like a dapper faceless ghost clad in white. Thankfully that’s not officially off the table yet.

DC Collectibles unveils new DC Essentials toy line so it can make the same characters for the umpteenth time! Clearly they haven’t read my DC Icons wishlist yet. The most talked about product may be Kotobukiya’s Nightwing statue because it’s designed to show off his highly recognizable gluteus maximus. Dick really ought to wear a mask on on his butt to keep it from blowing his secret identity. (Ditto Ace the Bat-hound.) My favorite statue, however, is Tweeterhead’s Bud & Lou, Harley Quinn’s hyena babies!

Justice League looks like it’ll be a fun movie so long as you don’t expect it to be Wonder Woman. The team’s secret weapon is a Jurassic Park dinosaur because Diana is a clever girl. Even the “Bohemian Rhapsody” by way of Alex Ross poster is keen. I finally realized Steppenwolf is the villain because Zack Snyder has a special axe collection! If you want to win a trip to the premiere, enter this highly complicated contest.

On the heels of Thor: Ragnarok’s toys being released early, Mattel’s Justice League toys are also trickling out ahead of its November premiere. SDCC revealed the second wave is helmeted Cyborg, a Parademon, beach bum Aquaman, Mera (Mattel’s still allergic to making a comic-style Mera), & a slightly different basic Batman. This will be the third movie Aquaman variant, so expect plenty of repackaging when the Aquaman movie line happens next year. (On a related aquatic note, Guillermo del Toro’s The Shape of Water will be better than whatever soulless Creature From The Black Lagoon remake Universal churns out for its Dark Universe. )

Ben Affleck has debunked the mean-spirited rumor that he’ll soon cease to be Batman. “With Matt Reeves doing it, I would be an ape, never mind Batman.” You heard it here first: The Batman film to adapt JLApe!

Supposedly the plot of The Flash movie is going to be “Flashpoint.” Wishful speculation is that that it will reboot the DC movieverse into something less dour that audiences & critics will universally adore. Of course if it follows the comic more than the TV series, DC fans will be subjected to a bloodbath of their beloved characters before it gets replaced by something where the most noticeable difference is everyone now sports Mandarin collars. The tagline will be “See, our DC films could’ve been even grimdarker!” I’m also leery of anything that jeopardizes Wonder Woman’s legitimutantly good movie. DAMN IT, BARRY! On the other paw, it could temporarily replace Jared Leto with Lauren Cohan. Considering how he loves sprinting past insurmountable obstacles in his films, should it cast Tom Cruise as Reverse-Flash? (Providing Tom Cavanagh is unavailable, naturally.)

Speaking of his TV show, Caitlin’s not Killer Frost anymore next season? BOOOO!!! James Remar, replacement Raiden in Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, will be Peter Gambi on Black Lightning, so I guess The F-Lash’s rogues won’t be getting wardrobe upgrades. Hopefully B’wana Beast will be a real character in Legends of Tomorrow not just an Easter Egg. Thanks to their time-breaking shenanigans, Detective Joe West has become the Legends’ adoptive dad while Sara scoffs at his blue dress code.

Todd McFarlane says there’s another Spawn movie on the way! Of course he’s been saying that ever since the first premiered in 1997, but this time he insists Blumhouse is producing his script that he’ll also direct. Unfortunately it sounds like he still wants to do a Spawn reboot with barely any Spawn in it. Spawn has a great costume (that his original movie adapted perfectly), so skimping on that in favor of generic horror vibe feels like a huge misstep. Who wants to see Spawn mow down regular humans when he could be fighting the likes of Violator, Redeemer, Angela Tiffany, Tremor, Overt-Kill, Curse, Sansker, Urizen, Malebolgia, or Cy-Gor?

What did you actually want to read about from this year’s SDCC? Let me know below so I have something to write about next week!

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