The Joker’s On You!

If you’re reading this, congratulations on surviving the total Eclipso of the heart! The big news that dropped just as I was reviewing  The Defenders is that WB will be making stand alone Elseworlds movies separate from the DCEU (this is still a yucky name). These could be really interesting palate cleansers for folks that are bored with the current film continuity & tradtional superhero movies in general. The first one up is … a gritty The Joker origin movie set in 1980’s Gotham City? So this will still have nothing to do with anything fans like about the Joker? So far it’s just produced by Martin Scorsese not directed by him, so don’t get your hopes up.

I’m not even one of those people who thinks giving the Joker a backstory ruins him, as he’s been the original Red Hood since 1951. It could be a better The Killing Joke adaptation than the cartoon, but the vague synopsis begs the question: Why so serious? The Joker & hardboiled crime story sound antithetical to me. There’s plenty of crime stories that already have loony murderous villains, so why go that route when you have the rights to do full nine yards Joker? At least make it a zany caper! The sky’s the limit with Elseworlds, but it sounds like they’re going to squander that potential with another toned down take.

Plus we already have a great 80’s Joker origin film in the first Burton Batman. If you need another Joker origin, Gotham’s Jerome is incrementally becoming him. Fingers crossed he’s knocked into a vat of chemicals to coincide with the debut of Bruce Wayne’s … Midnighter costume? This Bruce has yet to encounter any bats, has he?

It doesn’t matter whether these movies are officially branded as Elseworlds. WB still doesn’t know how to exploit its DC properties that aren’t directly Batman related. (Granted many Elseworlds tales & now Dark Knights: Metal are “What if Batman was another superhero?”) You’d think that after the critical & box office smash that was Wonder Woman, they’d do something like Amazonia to capitalize on her. A Donna Troy movie starring Victoria Justice would be an entire Elseworlds franchise in itself!

In case you still don’t have Joker fatigue yet, there’s also a Joker v. Harley Quinn: Dawn of Hyena Babies in the works starring nobody’s favorite Joker from Suicide Squad. It was originally thought this was replacing the Gotham City Sirens film, but now it’s supposedly in addition to. This comes right after Matt Reeves had to clarify that Ben Affleck would star in The Batman as an ape after he made it sound like it was also an Elseworlds movie. So maybe WB’s publicists need to be more clear, unless this is all part of some nefarious plan to generate more buzz for in-development pictures.

Ed Skrein tendered his classy resignation from Hellboy: Rise of the Blood Queen rather than whitewash Ben Daimio.

STOP THE PRESSES! “Co-writer of X-Men: The Last Stand misses point of Dark Phoenix Saga?” My monocle just shattered! He’s gonna remake his own bad movie! Prepare for Jessica Chastain to play Lilandra the human Majestrix of the Church of the Shi’ar Enlightenment instead of the chrome-bedecked alien empress with literal feathered hair. (I’d rather she be Deathbird anyway.) Instead of jumping to conclusions, I prefer to consider these educated guesses. Also Dazzler may be Halston Sage.

The first image of Evangeline Lilly suited up as Wasp in Ant-Man & The Wasp hatched. This would look even cooler if the paneling was gold or red. It’s a little too drab like cinematic Falcon, X-Men uniforms, or Scarlett. Where did the prototype costume from Ant-Man go? Is this going to be like how they baited me with the perfect Magneto helmet in First Class only to switch it out in DOFP? This D23 banner & SDCC poster look closer to that suit, so hopefully she wears that in the movie too rather than being just unused concept art.  Of course it seems counterproductive for Lilly to get ripped if she’s just going to be covered up in Avengers abs-blocker armor. Brie Larson had better be following her training regimen for Captain Marvel (with a less blurry camera).

Hope’s wings will probably be mechanical apparatus like her mom’s were in the flashbacks. It’s an expected change to streamline things yet still underwhelming. Comics Janet Van Dyne voluntarily had insectile wings grafted into her back.  It’s rare for a socialite fashionista to be so into arthropods, so that makes her the Avengers’ Isabella Rossellini. Her shrinking & bio-electric stings were also internalized, making her superior to Ant-Man’s costume-derived abilities. It’s doubly rare for character to not become a supervillain after augmenting themselves. Why not have Hope Van Dyne upgrade herself using her own STEM acumen? Doesn’t that sound more interesting than her just being another suit-empowered character?

Marvel also debuted Misty Knight’s new arm for Luke Cage season 2, which isn’t golden either. Did Tony Stark literally buy up all the gold on the MCU’s Earth for himself?

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Pictures of naked cats are purrnography.

My poor kitty was up from 5 to 12:10 staking out a mouse! If she wasn’t so sporting about letting them slip out of her jaws to hide, she could’ve been asleep at a respectable hour. After letting traps kill them for almost a year, this is her twelfth mouse murder! Two days later, Queen Quadruped was discovered playing with half a mouse corpse. She wouldn’t say if she stashed half of victim #12 or if she’d just slew #13. How does she expect to get her treat bounties if she doesn’t submit reports? All hail the the conquering Alpha Predatrix!

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Locked in a deadly game of Cat & Mouse!

I finally wrote another chapter after my research sabbatical! Then I fixed the end of Chapter 11 so it’s less terrible. I even traveled back in time to revise Chapter 5 so it has more references to Pasiphaë. This process might be easier had I not been calling it “my difficult second second novel” so often.

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