Great Disturbances In The Force

Colin Trevorrow has been booted from Untitled Star Wars Sequel: Episode IX. People who’ve had the misfortune of seeing The Book of Henry tell me this is fantastic news. (That’s not to say there isn’t a deep pool of worse directors they can plug into this too big to fail conclusion.) He’s the fourth director (Remember Josh Trank’s aborted Boba Fett film?) to be let go by Disney’s Lucasfilm. WB gets dissed for its DC plans being in a state of apparent entropy, but obviously this phenomenon is not exclusive. If fans are going to come to Lucasfilm’s defense for trying to right the mega-franchise ship to avoid cinematic icebergs, maybe grant WB/DC some of that courtesy too? Or rag on them both?

 Michael K. Williams’s performance has been cut from A Star Wars Story: Untitled Han Solo Film (Why isn’t it just Han Solo?) because he couldn’t fit extensive reshoots into his packed schedule. Rather than axe the character completely, replacement director Ron Howard has replaced him with Paul Bettany in the quickest instance of whitewashing. I’m hoping this half-animal character is a Selonian because Han Solo punching a giant otter in the tummy is actually something I’d like to see. At least he’s going full nepotism by giving Clint Howard a role so he can be in both of the big Star franchises.  If Rogue One can be a non-swashbuckling war movie, why wouldn’t Lucasfilm let Lord & Miller make this a comedy? Millennial Falcon & Red Letter Media deserve some Imperial credits for cracking the screenplay. I’ve got a bad feeling about this.

There’s also an Obi-Wan Kenobi movie in the pipeline, but there’s even less ground to cover with his character.  Star Wars is already Obi-Wan Kenobi’s Logan

Speaking of Michael K. Williams, season one of Hap & Leonard, based on Joe R. Lansdale’s Savage Season, was great offbeat 1980’s Texan noir! Aside from its own merits, including themes of friendship & idealism vs. pragmatism, it’s also got plenty of comic book adaptation meta-connections. Soldier is an example of a Joker analogue that I mentioned last time. The Walking Dead’s Pollyanna McIntosh got swole & glam as his less effervescent Harley Quinn, Angel. (They’re actually a much healthier couple, but sometimes segues are more elegant when misleading.) Not only was Neil Sandilands playing someone scarred like Two-Face, he’ll be The Thinker on The Flash this season. Christina Hendricks even voiced Lois Lane once. The DC parallels may not be entirely coincidental as Lansdale wrote for BTAS including “Showdown,” the Time After Time reunion where the League of Assassins dressed like Grendel. Meanwhile its stars, James Purefoy & Williams, have respectively departed the lead in V For Vendetta & not been cast as Black Manta. This keeps happening when I try for a coherent thesis.

If you love pulp monster romps like The Mummy (not the one that was released this year) & Kong: Skull Island, have I got a motion picture for you! Chronicles of The Ghostly Tribe begins in Kunlun but actually shows you a dragon unlike Iron Fist! Why did nobody warn me Communist accordion anthems could be so catchy? It gets really complicated with the Ghostly Tribe being aliens whose hybrid descendants spontaneously combust, but that’s part of its charm. I hope it gets some sequels to expand on the open-ended ending.

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By eating an abundance of garlic, it exposed her as a vampire.

I learned that it was based upon Ghost Blows Out The Light by Zhang Muye. Apparently the eight books series rights were split in twain between two studios so another adaptation, Mojin: The Lost Legend, was released the same year with the novelist co-writing. It’s not bad, but it feels more conventional like a Tomb Raider installment. Technically it’s a sequel since this studio has the rights to the last four books of the series, but it doesn’t address the bonkers stuff of the prior film. It’s supposed to be more faithful to the series than its competitor, but flesh-eating locusts & zombies are no substitute for Fire Bats & giant were-hyenas called Red Howlers.

Why do bad movies keep depicting Chupacabras as people-eaters? Chupacabras wouldn’t eat people! They’re goat suckers! It’s right there in the name! How hard is that to understand?

Zombeavers, on the other paw, have no such dietary compunctions. The humans in that movie were unsympathetic, so I was rooting for those adorable critters!

The mystery of which centaurs Elijah Wood can’t draw in foam in I Don’t Feel At Home In This World Anymore has been solved!

Now that Secret Empire has finally wrapped up, we have confirmation that Agents of SHIELD did it better. A death in #8 was predicated by this.

Sony suddenly has a Nightwatch movie on the docket for its Spider-Man minus Spider-Man series. So this is on the table because real Spawn’s second movie finally has some momentum?

I now have a “Contact Me” form set up in case you don’t feel like posting your employment offers, death threats, & marriage proposals as public comments below. You can find it by clicking on the icon with the stack of horizontal lines.

Preacher’s second season wraps up next week, so maybe I should write about that?

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