The Gifted’s Second Season Baby Boom!

The GIF Ted has returned! This time Inhumans isn’t back to make it look a zillion times better in comparison. (Marvel may be overcompensating for that failure with the Death of the Inhumans miniseries.) The Gifted season 2 moves to Tuesday at 8, which is The Flash’s time slot. Not cool, Fox! This is as bad as Supergirl & Doctor Who competing against each other. Anyway, SPOILERS for “eMergence” emerge below! This season they’re doing M-titles because they ran out of X-words.

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Valerie Vale & Silver St. Cloud in the house!

Reeva Payge is a real Hellfire Club Queen who immediately fell into obscurity. She may be the series’ deepest cut yet. Although she wasn’t present at her coup against brand new characters (except the diamond-making dude) that don’t merit names, Lorna doesn’t fully trust her. The mutant homeland the Inner Circle is plotting sounds like what Genosha eventually became. Genosha is reportedly appearing in the delayed Dark Phoenix movie. Given the state of X-movie continuity, one doesn’t necessarily rule out it being in the other.

The best part of the premiere is that Eclipse’s & Polaris’s baby gets born. A power inhibitor collar & a log cabin in the woods sure would’ve come in handy whilst Polaris was giving birth. (Emma Dumont taught refugees about magnetism because she is always on brand.) Kudos to the series for showing us that this mutant birth is a big deal by having Polaris’s powers pulse out on a citywide scale. Giving her anesthesia & a c-section would’ve been safer, but the Hellfire Club prefers maximum drama.

Dawn Dane is alliterative enough to be a superheroine’s secret identity, although Aurora Dane sounds classier. I can’t believe Matt Nix nixed my crackpot theory about Polaris becoming the mother of Aurora & Northstar! Is the newborn fated to be a hostage targeted by all factions for the rest of the series? Or will they introduce some time travel shenningans to make her a more active participant?

I’m glad that the victorious future the Stepford Cuckoos beamed into Lorna’s brain was peaceful. It keeps them from looking cartoonishly evil by showing the Hellfire Club’s best case scenario isn’t genocide. Their new American double helix flag doesn’t even look fascist! They’re still technically antagonists, however, so I expect it’ll eventually devolve into “Destroy all humans!’ rhetoric. For now it’s possible that they could be well-meaning extremists instead of bloodthirsty monsters. That’d help tell them apart from the MLF teased last season, should they ever appear. I need Dragoness on my TV!

Reed Strucker’s latent mutancy is emerging, but will it make him any less stiff? Apparently he took a correspondence course in document forgery during the six month timeskip. Caitlin Strucker has gone full-on badass because relegating Amy Acker to being just “the mom” would be wasteful. I still struggle to care about the Struckers.

My biggest problem with the show is the same as my problem with other Marvel shows aside from Legion. Everybody dresses nondescript (except Polaris) & the colors are washed out. (DC shows generally avoid this stylistic pitfall.) At least undercover Blink lampshades it by complaining about looking basic. The authorities think a bunch of blandly dressed muties died when the Fenris kids exploded their old headquarters, so they’d never recognize a bunch of muties with identical powers disguised in vibrant superhero costumes. If The Hellfire Club Inner Circle doesn’t even do Regency era cosplay & give each other chess titles, then is the point of joining this aristocratic secret society?

Once again, I wish the premiere was double length because it felt like an expanded trailer. I wanted more yet not necessarily because it blew my socks off. Season one started off just good enough & escalated to an explosive climax, so perhaps it just needs to build up momentum again. Morlocks are on the way. Hopefully it’s outgrown alternating between characters being captured by & sprung from Sentinel Services (who kind of evoke ICE). It’s three episodes longer than last year’s, so maybe that’s too much to hope for. The special effects still look spiffy!

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Writing about The Gifted was all part of my nefarious ruse to work in more X-Men esoterica!

Always specify whether The Petrified Man in question is Garokk.

Cyclops can never emerge from the shadow of his father being Magnum PI as a space pirate.

Movie Nightcrawler having scars instead of velvety fur is a crime against Furries.

Listen to editor Jordan White’s educational ukulele ditties “About Adam-X” & “Two T’s (Magott’s Song).”

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I kind wish they’d held off on the Captain Marvel trailer until this week as last installment was very packed for topics.  One of its best scenes was Carol punching an old lady in the face. It’s probably a Skrull, but what if it turns out to be a double fake-out? Then the biddy’s face collapses in on itself in a bloody pulp. We find out the real reason we’ve not seen Captain Marvel in the MCU before is she’s been serving a life sentence.

Hopefully the Psyche-Magnitron is still part of her origin in the movie because it sounds cool. It probably won’t because Marvel retconned her origin again, presumably for forthcoming move synergy. Now she was half-Kree (but not Inhuman) all along. I get that they’re embarrassed that she was a byproduct of Mar-Vell now that she’s their defacto superheroine figurehead, but why not focus on how far she’s come since then by her own merits? Saying this was her biological destiny is the most boring twist on an origin that was unique. It doesn’t even fix the perceived sexist flaws in her origin since her comics history still includes her being the Lois Lane to Mar-Vell’s Clark Kent. (This change supports the theory that Mar-Vell isn’t in the movie.) Her powers aren’t Kree-standard so she still needed to she get zapped by the Psyche-Magnitron. An alien wish machine is a more believable way for a human to gain powers than a bite from a radioactive or genetically engineered spider. It’s not as bad as changing Wonder Woman into another of Zeus’s bastards, but it’s still pointless. They need to spend less time fiddling with her backstory & more time writing good stories with her.

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Nobody wants Bryan Singer ruining Red Sonja!

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MCU shows about Loki & Scarlet Witch will be on Disney’s upcoming Play streaming platform? Since Disney now owns two major movie studios, two networks, multiple cable channels, & a majority share in Hulu, it desperately needs something to entice you to part with your entertainment dollars. (What is the point of its live action Lady & the Tramp remake if it won’t star Tessa Thompson & Justin Theroux in fursuits?) A female-led show from Young Avengers creator Allan Heinberg is in development at ABC, though this could vanish like Marvel’s Most Wanted (the Mockingbird & Hunter spinoff), & the Damage Control sitcom. I don’t want to hear about any new Marvel shows until Disney puts New Warriors on ABC or Freeform so we can all enjoy Squirrel Girl without a paywall!

There is an Eternals movie on the way to compete with WB’s The New Gods. If anybody tries to tell you they’re an Eternals fan, they’re lying. Not even Neil Gaiman could get readers to care about them. It’ll still make more money than several countries’ GDP.

FreeForm only aired the premiere of Hulu’s  Runaways after the finale of Cloak & Dagger so I can’t say if it’s worthwhile. I hear it still takes way too long to live up to its title compared to the comics. Instead of hubris, The Pride were undone by fake coasters!

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Is Venom a real movie that comes out next week?

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