December Dooms Daredevil!

December dawns with the demise of Daredevil! Hot on the heels of the cancellations of Luke Cage & Iron Fist, Netflix destroyed the writers’ room’s dreams of a fourth season. Now I’m extra mad Bullseye didn’t have his own costume & Stilt-Man’s foreshadowing never came to fruition! (Tumblr is probably dying of self-inflicted wounds too, which reassures me that being too lazy to make a Tumblr was a wise move.) So Jessica Jones season three & Punisher season two look to be the end of the line for this hallway-battling venture, unless Netflix mercifully greenlights another season of The Defenders  to tie up all the loose ends. Let’s belabor this point whilst awaiting coming attractions for the next Avengers! At least Captain Marvel marketing is punctual.

The timing is suspicious given that Disney wants to launch its own streaming subscription service next year. It’s like how it cancelled Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, Spectacular Spider-Man, Wolverine & the X-Men, Iron Man: Armored Adventures, & The Super Hero Squad Show after buying Marvel since it didn’t produce those cartoons in-house. Of course all the reports specifically say Netflix was responsible for the cancellation spree. So maybe Netflix cut off its nose to spite Disney’s face? It’s also likely renewals were dependent upon confidential agreements with Disney. Perhaps both entities were so petty that they’d rather rather make no money than share it.

Now that these properties have struck a chord with the public, Disney is probably considering how it can legally reshuffle them into a program wholly controlled by itself. (How about an anthology series named Marvel Knights since the comics’ Defenders are usually closer to the cinematic Revengers?) There are concerns that even if the characters were resurrected on Disney+, they’d be bowdlerized from Netflix’s incarnations. Where were all the complaints that Punisher would be neutered in comparison to Punisher: War Zone? I still find it odd that all of the Marvel Netflix shows got TV-MA ratings. (I can understand Jessica Jones getting a stronger rating to protect everyone’s minds from sex.) I’m so used to the graphic violence of Gotham getting 8 PM network airplay with a TV-14 rating. You’d think a streaming network would have even more free reign with its content ratings.

The writers room is understandably upset, not only because they’re out of work. They claim season four would’ve been filled with spectacular moments. We’ll probably never know for sure now. This kind of puffery is par for the course. Nobody’s going to say “It’s a good thing we got axed since all our ideas for the next season were awful!” Always talk up your incomplete projects as the greatest thing since sliced bread because nobody can prove otherwise. It’ll launch think pieces on how Daredevil season four would’ve been the apex of televisual entertainment had the suits not ruined it for everyone! At least season three’s end felt like it could work as a series finale, unlike Luke Cage’s & Iron Fist’s.

The Netflix Defenders shows coming to an abrupt halt is surprising how much merchandising was put behind them. Meanwhile Agents of SHIELD barely received any support. It’s not as if they couldn’t have marketed both to collectors.  The SHIELD three pack was more geared towards The Avengers, though all the characters have appeared on the series & the pistols are painted like icers. The Hot Toys Ghost Rider was keen but super limited & expensive. Quake is getting toy shelf exposure through Marvel Rising: Secret Warriors instead of the series she stars on. It’s not as if the Netflix costumes were intrinsically more toyetic, as Madame Hydra, Melinda May, & Mockingbird would attest. The show did have a handful of POP!s, but Funko will make POP!s of anything. It’s ironic that Agents of SHIELD was treated as the red-headed stepchild of Marvel Studios but it’s the one with longevity. So many companies bet on the wrong horse!

The worst part of the Netflix Marvel shows being cancelled is they’ll probably not make an MCU Misty Knight action figure to go with the MCU Colleen Wing. They’ve done comics Misty, but Hasbro hasn’t made her a complementary Colleen either. Now we only have one mismatched Daughters of the Dragon duo! Simone Missick deserves an action figure! (I wouldn’t mind Mary Walker & Kingpin becoming Marvel Legends either.) The second worst part is that Hasbro made Elektra in the wrong costume. Meanwhile Diamond Select Toys has made two statues of her second best outfit. How do they not yet know of her red suit?

To anyone in DD withdrawal, might I remind you that Marvel Comics still publishes his adventures in monthly comic books? Crazy, right? I’d also recommend replacing it in your viewing schedule with Black Lightning. It’s a mature show about crime & community that still has time for the fun superhero stuff like powers & costumes. The soundtrack is bangers too! (After being flagellated by The F-Lash in the ratings, The Gifted is going to get beat by BL once it shifts  its time-slot next year.) It’s another reason why The CW is actually the best network.

Daredevil has a kitty keyboard?

Iron Fist would be much cooler if he could channel chai into punches. I’m so glad I prioritized making an “Iron Fist” tag over “Aquaman” & “Captain Marvel” tags.

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The second Captain Marvel trailer made me more excited than the first, although it seems to spoil a little too much. (It will probably still be more satisfying than the Infinity War 2 trailer, should they ever deign to release it.) It looks like Carol may even go full Binary, which makes me wonder if they’ve saved anything for the sequel. Now we know she powers up by yelling “SHAZAM!”

LEGO Skrulls are trying to steal Carol Danvers’s kitty! (First Marvel stole Supergirl’s adopted surname, then they gave her an abnormal orange tabby like Streaky.) Please let this scenario be in the movie. Young Nick Fury’s action figure features pussycat bondage, so maybe it does? (Chewie Goose is unbound in this version of Carol in a bomber jacket that ironically brings to mind 90’s Rogue.) So perhaps being renamed from Chewie to Goose doesn’t mean it’s a different non-Flerkin cat. I know it’s a Top Gun reference, but nerds still cared about Star Wars in the 90’s. I would’ve thought Disney would’ve kept the name for cross-branding. It’s odd they haven’t unveiled a Miraculous Ladybug Marvel Legends of Carol in her Kree Starforce uniform yet. Could they not get Jude Law’s likeness rights or is his alternate unmasked head still in development?

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A Shang-Chi movie is on the way. All I really know about this master of kung-fu is that his dad is Dr. Fu Manchu. That’s been retconned out though because Marvel doesn’t want to pay Sax Rohmer’s estate anymore. I would’ve gone with an Agents of Atlas movie since Jimmy Woo has already been introduced, but their track record of reinvigorating obscure characters for the masses is stellar. Everything should be fine so long as they don’t let Scott Buck touch it. The vaporware film I’m more excited about at the moment, however, is WB’s Blue Beetle.

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As compared to last week, there’s been a ton of pop culture announcements! To balance out the Netflix news, Preacher was renewed by AMC! There’s even an update for the Cruella biopic we forgot was happening! Too bad Vox Lux isn’t about Natalie Portman literally transmuting vox into lux like Dazzler. (Is the cellist from Heroes the closest we’re going to get in live action?) And now for something completely different:

DSCI5935.JPG

Wook at dis widdle adowable family of piggies!

Naturally Disney waited until the day after I published to release the Highlander: Endgame Avengers: Endgame trailer. Thanks, I hate it. Avengers Forever would’ve been a better title, but at least they didn’t use 4vengers. Watch this fan-made trailer for Gotham’s final season with seasonally appropriate music instead!

Next week: The Elseworlds crossover is finally here! I’ll be Monitoring the situation.

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