After a long streak, we’ve once again arrived at a blog about nothing. (Mostly since I’ve not seen Toy Story 4 yet. Legion’s last season started, but I don’t have much substantial to say about it yet.) These entries bring me back to the early scattershot days of the blog. They’re a double edged sword. They’re a nice break from feeling compelled to review something while it’s brand new & relevant, like
Jessica Jones Gazebo Flipper season three no longer is. I get to unload some of backlog of musings that weren’t even tangentially relevant to previous topics at hand. On the other paw, I wonder if these will attract enough views to be worth publishing in the first place. At the end of the year, I’ll sorrowfully look back on these articles’ statistics & wonder how to make them as comparatively successful as their kin. (Make the titles more clickbaity!) Figuring out whether disparate elements should float independently or get agglomerated into semi-coherent paragraphs is another quandary. Of course once you let one tangent in, they multiply like a plague of Tribbles. Then I might as well use all the tags. This one’s got random tidbits on Batman Vs. TMNT, The 100, Agents of SHIELD, The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl, & more!
Baxter Stockman is the MVP of Batman Vs. TMNT, which is a fun romp for fans of both properties. Audience surrogate Michelangelo is totally tubular too. This was the first time one actor, Troy Baker, played both Batman & the Joker. Marly Halpern-Graser’s screenplay went out of its way to use as many key moments from James Tynion IV‘s & Freddie Williams II’s comics as possible, unlike some adaptions. (Who am I casting shade at with such a wide net?) Donatello’s & Batgirl’s geeky friendship was great. It had a surprisingly even mix of goofy humor & brutal violence. While having both foes feels redundant, Shredder vs. Batman & Ra’s al Ghul vs. Leonardo are fantastic fights directed by Jake Castorena. (DC has strange rules for pronouncing Ra’s al Ghul, which sounds like this is all because Batman Begins dropped the ball.) Why’d they change Bane’s mutation from an elephant to a jaguar? Some rando ninja got to be a pachyderm instead. Not only is Raphael’s motorcycle is made of Metalhead, he calls out Batman on his brooding loner act. Cosplay Michelangelo will be an SDCC exclusive sans nunchuks, but I’d be more interested in the Arkham mutants.
Erin Richards the Stabby Queen received some kind of Gotham-related award at The Filming Italy Sardegna Festival. No one has clarified whether this is for directing the hundredth episode or just for being Barbara Kean.
The tragedy of Jeremiah Valeska is that despite running away from the circus, he still couldn’t evade his clown destiny. Why did Gotham give Batman asterisk abs but not Batnipples? Feast your ears upon the “O Penguin” demo!
I’m so jazzed Victor Zsasz will face off against Bill & Ted! I suppose this will further delay The Mist returning to The Flash?
The Batman cast Robert Pattison as the eponymous role, so it’s clearly going to be an adaptation of Red Rain instead of the cartoon where Batman eats nachos. (Perhaps audiences would’ve liked Ben Affleck’s jerkwad interpretation more if he’d been cast as Lex Luthor instead?) The rumor is that it’ll cram in Penguin Riddler, Catwoman, Firefly, Two-Face, & Mad Hatter. It’d be keen to have Robin Lord Taylor, Cory Michael Smith, Camren Bicondova (or Lili Simmons), Michelle Veintimilla (or Camilla Perez), Nicholas D’Agosto, & Benedict Samuel reprise their roles.
Batman: Hush features Peyton List as Poison Ivy & Peyton List as Batgirl. Is the plural Peyton Lists or Peytons List?
WB’s biggest mistake was naming the third movie Batman Forever instead of waiting for the fourth.
This Batfamily statue is adorable, despite Cassandra Cain, Stephanie Brown, Batwing, the Signal, & Batwoman getting shafted again. Meanwhile this absurdly humongous & expensive diorama has lots of bat-baddies! Man-Bat’s wings are wrong & he has alopecia. This is the ideal gift for aficionados of callipygian Clayface.
The best Batmobile is the one that had extra buzzsaws. It’s the only one that can compete with the Mach-5!
Batman of 2050 is named Leonard Cohen. He’s not a musician (the Leonard Cohen as Batman would be on brand for them both), but he is Jewish.
Everyone fears Sonic the Hedgehog’s human teeth when they should be worried about Joker putting molars in fish.
Why did Killer Moth rename himself Charaxes when those are butterflies not moths?
What Dark Knights: METAL lacks in coherence it makes up for in exuberance.
I would like a sequel to The Legend of the Naga Pearls! It’s got an adorable pangolin sidekick!
“RELEASE THE KRAKEN!” is one of the most important lines in cinematic history.
“GWAR vs. Ethan Embry: We Finally Settled the Beef from Empire Records” is the must read interview of the century.
Sign this petition to name a building in Edmonton’s new park the Nathan Fillion Civilian Pavilion. They could paint it vermilion & install a carillon!
If you haven’t read Benjamin Dewey’s The Complete Collection of The Tragedy Series, then It is your life that is the real tragedy.
Toni Maggio encapsulates why “Nevermind” is the best The 100 episode. Books are beloved by Bellamy Blake! (Guest star Eve Harlow is so hardcore she skypes into book club.)
The episode’s only flaw is its lack of Matilda the mutant gorilla. For having the effrontery to call her Pauna & nixing her from Kim Shumway’s script, that dastardly Jason Rothenberg has made a powerless enemy! Next season owes us a whole episode about mutant gorillas! Could the drawing in Ryker’s garage be of a mecha-rilla he’s built? (Nobody screencapped this foreshadowing?)
Huzzah to the discreet nuptials of Eliza Taylor & Bob Morley! By which I mean I didn’t even know they were courting.
I’m glad Agents of SHIELD aced the same plot prompt last week for “Inescapable.” Seeing SHIELD Academy again reminds me how awkward secret HYDRA High was. Repression monster Simmons should be called Jemmacide.
me: Evil Fitzsimmons should hook up. Writer DJ Doyle: We got you covered, weirdo!
The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl volume 7’s Savage Land sojourn was spectacular despite lack of Sauron. (My SEO among Tolkeinites increases each time I mention him.) Age of Ultron would’ve been improved if James Spader voiced a Dinobot! Thanks to Erica Henderson’s pulpy painted covers, we learned Doreen Green is built for Crossfit. Between her original petite form & her redesign’s penchant to appear chubby, her physique fluctuates more than Christian Bale’s.
The cat departed her feet-warming post before I finished TUSG vol. 9 & well before supper time, so I am entitled to a refund.
Triscareatops has simultaneously improved & ruined Ghost Rider for me.
I’m glad the eleventh collection will be titled “Call Your Squirrelfriend” because I suggested it to Ryan North in 2016. This may be its penultimate, as the series is winding down. Alas! Now’s the perfect time for Hasbro to finally announce a Marvel Legends Squirrel Girl!
Depending on when I can get to the cinema, a
Spider-Man: Far From Home Mysterio collaboreview could be next! I hope I don’t die before seeing it. Unless it’s bad, in which case my expectations won’t be sullied by reality.