Thanksgiving For Masters Of The Universe Revelation

The season premieres of Riverdale & The Flash were actually good! I’m pretty sure they will once again be incomprehensible messes by the time they get to their season finales, but I’m hoping they’ll at least stick the landings on their five part events. If there are no tribute videos of Rivervale’s Cheryl Blossom set to the music of the original The Wicker Man by week’s end, then what even is the point of YouTube?

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Now it’s toon time again! Lots of fans despised the first half of Masters Of The Universe Revelation. I enjoyed it, but I don’t consider myself a die-hard MOTU fan. (Hence it doesn’t get its own tag.) Netflix should’ve released the whole series at once so at least viewers would’ve had the full story to judge. Cleaving it was to no one’s benefit. After fans complained the trailer for part one mislead them into thinking there’d be plenty of He-Man, Netflix overcompensated by spoiling everything in the trailer for part two. (They didn’t release promo stills though.) So if you’ve seen that, do you even need the SPOILER warning for my review? Yes, since this is an Evil-Lyn stan account!

EvilLyn_Sorceress

She killed Batros to get this hat, but in retrospect she could’ve just wished for it.

Did you like MOTU Revelation Part 1? If so, you’re in luck because the same highlights carry over to Part 2! Powerhouse Animation lives up to its name. Bear McCreary’s score gets more bombastic. The writing has a little bit everything for assorted demographics. It sticks the landing better than showrunner Kevin Smith’s comics for Marvel & DC & is more punctual.

As expected, the haters’ predictions didn’t come true. Prince Adam survives being stabbed in the tummy without also falling off a cliff. Although Teelandra appears identical to Dansen, the ladies’ womance is textually platonic. Teela doesn’t replace Adam as He-Man. I wouldn’t have minded seeing these “worst case scenarios” though. (Some of the more open-minded detractors apologized after seeing it through to the end.) It’s a testament to the show’s quality that I still enjoyed it even if it didn’t go as far as it could’ve.

Teela’s build & haircut appear to be modeled on Kristen Nun albeit not as swole. I can’t  believe people actually complained that “Teela used to be a Warrior Goddess” as if she wasn’t handing out beatdowns like Halloween candy in this. Are those outraged by her asymmetrical hair that same segment that had conniption fits over Felicity shearing her luscious locks? It’s not my favorite design for her, but it does translate well to cosplay.

After a flashback confirms Teela is the biological child of Sorceress & Duncan the Man-At-Arms, part two of season one opens with Skelegod’s delightful gloating poem. The Sorceress dies teleporting the heroes except Duncan away. Teela uses her nascent magic to heal Adam’s mortal wound.

Skelegod’s noggin floats in flame like Ghost Rider. As Skeletor, his head hovers in shadow. Does he not have a neck? He avoided death by leeching Lyn’s lifeforce within her wand until magic was repaired. Skeletor isn’t Keldor in this continuity if you consider the tie-in comics canon.

Skelegod makes a mist that turns Clamp Champ & Fisto into blue ram skull-headed ghouls. Our heroes are forced to blow them up. When it’s pointed out their spirits will find peace in Preternia, Skelegod shows off by destroying their souls. Super-duper-extra-permanently killing off the token black guy & token guy obsessed with fisting (His memetic panel has been doctored!) isn’t ideal for representation.

Much like Skelegod, Mattel also spoiled Savage He-Man. (Now you can get a Marvel Select scale Ka-Zar. Battle Cat wouldn’t be that tough to customize into Zabu either.) When Adam transforms without using The Sword Of Power as his conduit he becomes Tarzan-Hulk. If Skeletor usurped him as Eternia’s Champion, how is Adam still able to transform? Maybe doing an origin flashback could’ve papered over this plot hole. Although he only has superstrength & superspeed, this mute brute infuriatingly survives Skelegod’s varied magic assault. It’s exactly the “might makes right” symbolism taken to its extreme that I didn’t want to see in this franchise. His rampage is halted when King Randor hugs him & apologizes for not telling him how proud he was of his son.

With the previous titleholder dead, Skelegod promotes Evil-Lyn as the new Sorceress of Castle Grayskull. The Sorceress’s falcon hat is replaced by a bat hat. It’s almost as good as her iconic helmet. (I think it should look like a lateral tiara of nails, but adaptations never err on the side of Cenobites.) The other new cartoon also gave her a bat helm for synergy. The winged cape & enormous fur collar really pull it together. This goth ensemble fits her better than Korra cosplay.

The trailer mislead me into thinking they’d given everything away, but episode eight or three (depending on how you count them) had a legitimutant wondrous trick up its sleeve. Duncan & Beast Man urge Evil-Lyn to leave her abusive relationship with Skeletor for different reasons. (Quit trying to out simp me, Beast Man!) MAA even points out that Sorceress-Lyn wields more power than Skelegod. Lyn becomes consumed with nihilism when Skelegod shows her the universe is made of random chaos. She’s furious he’s going to acquire even more power during a cosmic alignment just to further his myopic feud with Adam. She seduces Skelegod with flattery to get this horny fool to relinquish his power. I thought she was going to teleport The Sword Of Honor Omens Power back to Adam. Instead she uses it to ascend to God-Lyn! (I would’ve gone with Goddess-Lyn, but that’s just semantics.) I thought Lena Headey already dominated in the first half!

God_Lyn

“In place of the Dark Lord you will set up a Queen. And I shall not be dark, but beautiful and terrible as the Morning and the Night! Fair as the Sea and the Sun and the Snow upon the Mountain! Dreadful as the Storm and the Lightning! Stronger than the foundations of the earth. All shall love me and despair!”

While Skelegod overcompensated with lots of glowing skulls, God-Lyn’s skimpy attire is more elegant. The dress might look better in violet, but reserving that as Skeletor’s signature color makes sense. Her giant golden spiked halo collar is the perfect augmentation of her classic coronet. Like the boys, she still has an H-emblem for “hubba hubba!” If you thought Teela was jacked, God-Lyn is an absolute unit. (Lady Dimitrescu who?) She’s abs all the way down to her skullcrusher quads! Now this is how MCU She-Hulk & Titania ought to be built. You’re telling me Swole-Lyn was an option outside of fan art, but we’re only getting her now?

While it’s considered poor form to critique women’s bodies, I’m pleasantly surprised by how egalitarian MOTUR is in this regard. Its men are held to a ridiculous yet socially accepted standard of musculature, & its women are held to that same ideal regardless of its unconventionality in reality. Furthermore none of the characters are repulsed by muscular women. Eternia doesn’t have a gendered beauty double standard. If it does it to Adam & Skeletor, it’s only fair The Sword Of Power gets Evil-Lyn roided up as well.

GodLyn

This is the ideal female body. You may not like it, but your impotent rage only amuses her.

Both Skelegod & God-Lyn perform bewildering feats of magic. Why doesn’t Adam ever do anything near as astounding as Eternia’s Champion? Is it only because he didn’t have any prior magical abilities? Why does Eternia need both a Sorceress & a Champion when Lyn showcases getting a girl who can do both?

I thought the purple Pretrernian panther was going to be the only nod, but Skeletor brings Panthor along to the climax. God-Lyn petrifies Panthor! Skeletor & I are horrified. It would’ve been even more heartbreaking if we’d seen Skeletor being a cat daddy. We were robbed! Diabolical Anabolic-Lyn claims she’s more of a dog person, but Beast Man looks more like a lion than a canine when she further monsterizes him. Battle Cat ambiguously dispatches him. Cersei Lannister displays both Sersi & Circe powers.

Clawful should’ve been the Eternian Zodak Zodiac’s Cancer representative. Kevin Smith self-deprecatingly voices Goat Man & Pigboy, who are too lame to quip. Spidor is more disappointing since he doesn’t have any Spider-Man powers. Get that loser Motherboard enhancements! I was hoping for Suarod & Draego-Man cameos.

God-Lyn’s first act is eradicate Preternia. Teela telepathically summons all of Eternia to stand against her next move to annihilate everything in existence. “Comes With Everything You See Here” only makes sense as a title in context of a toy commercial, but most of the combatants are ironically not available in Mattel’s Masterverse toyline yet. Adam’s mom being an astronaut from Earth that can do a mean Cher Horowitz impression is casually dropped in without context. (Queen Marlena is a Halloween costume?) Ram-Man shows up as discount Juggernaut with spring legs. God-Lyn summons the hordes of Subternia as her army. This inadvertently includes Orko, who wrests The Sword away from her & back to Adam.

When Adam transforms himself & Cringer, her also turns Skeletor back to Skelegod. He-Man shows he’s the bigger person by including his arch-nemesis in saving the day, much like a well written Superman would do for Lex Luthor. There’s no worthiness requirement for The Sword, but Adam would definitely meet it. Naturally Skeletor doesn’t grasp the gesture though. While he seems competent, this backstabber can’t resist snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. Since she began by wiping out Eternia’s Heaven with the effort of a yawn, both improbably manage not to be immediately atomized by God-Lyn blinking. This requires gargantuan disbelief suspension.

SorceressTeela GodLyn

That’s why turning your back on magic was dumb, Teela!

After confronting her ghost mother about her poor parenting choices, Teela stops running from her destiny of becoming the new Sorceress by diving into a magic underground lake. (Is this only a requirement if you’re not already a mage like Lyn?) Her wardrobe is an upgrade over her generic mercenary outfit, although copper cobra armor atop chartreuse skin would’ve been a keen alternative. Half her scalp grows out, so her haters can’t be outraged by her chic sideshave anymore. She even decides that being restricted to Grayskull’s grounds is a dumb limitation.

Sorceress Teela still looks puny against God-Lyn! This is a rare instance of a battle between a normally strong woman & a superstrong one, especially since you can differentiate their builds from both average women & each other. Teela is able to convince her that the randomness of the universe is magic, which she values above all. Lyn renounces her Goddesshood & plans for universal armaggeddon. Like Mirror Monarch & Scarlet Witch, she walks freely into the sunset because she’s still too damn powerful to be punished for nearly destroying all creation.

A downside to condensing everything into one dynamic season is that its messages are blatantly relayed in dialogue. Share your power with those who need it. New responsibilities don’t mean forsaking your relationships. Friendship is magic. Secrets end up hurting your loved ones when the truth comes out. Tell you kids you love them often. You can break cycles of abuse. Try deescalating aggression with empathy. Holding grudges is for suckers, especially if you can immediately end your foes. There are probably still kids watching this iteration, however, so the morals are still worthwhile. Given the toxic behavior of some adult fans, they probably could’ve benefited from learning these.

With their power imbalance reduced, Prince Adam’s & Teela’s romance is based on mutual respect similar to Hydra Stomper & Captain Carter. They’re like Catradora minus the problematic era of their courtship where they were enemies. (Claire Max & Alyssa Onofreo are real life Catradora.) Randor & Marlena’s marriage is saved too. As Duncan steps back, Andra becomes the new Woman Man-At-Arms. (For such an equitable society, why is Eternia’s default terminology still so male-gendered?) Lyn kept Orko from being sucked back to Subternia.

It turns out The Motherboard is actually a Decepticon emissary of Hordak. With Lyn retired, this fembot will be the new Smurfette keeping the baddies from being a sausage fest. Motherboard blocks Skeletor’s magic so either it’s also magical or the writers are deluded into thinking technology is a match for supernatural forces not bound by universal laws. It infects Skeletor with a techno-organic virus like in the reviled The New Adventures of He-Man to set up the next arc.

I thought this was going to be a one-off mini-series, but it heavily teases a real second season. Going by the flashback to the dawn of existence, Snake Men may be involved. It’s jerk move that She-Ra & The Princesses Of Power was embargoed from adapting He-Man stuff but He-Man can use She-Ra elements. Until disproven, I insist both series occur parallel. Neither King Hiss nor Hordak feel like they’ll measure up to the stakes raised by God-Lyn.

Although I wouldn’t consider myself a MOTU fan, I am definitely a fan of MOTU Revelation! This Thanksgiving I have God-Lyn to be thankful for. Everything else is gravy.

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Why can’t I buy action figures of Evil-Lyn as The Sorceress & God-Lyn right now? Shut up & take my money, Mattel! I’m throwing money at my monitor, but nothing’s happening? Of course Mattel could always make her scrawny & off-model like Teela instead of giving her the same deluxe treatment as Skelegod.

It’s disappointing Mattel’s figure doesn’t match Teela’s physique (or her face) since they know how to make mogged female action figures. She has the same build as Evil-Lyn despite being significantly beefier cheesesteak by this point. Where is “classic” Teela’s epaulet cape?

When Captain Stinkor throws his mighty shield, all who oppose him must yield! Alas, the new toy doesn’t have additional stink molded into his plastic.

I’m still mad Mattel intentionally made the mass market Scare Glow less appealing than the SDCC exclusive one that instantly sold out. Only the head glows in the dark, & it doesn’t match his skeleton colors. Would GITD paint really have broken the budget? The green of the earlier one looks nicer.

She-Ra was announced for the Masterverse, but the logo implies she’ll be the classic version. They already did original She-Ra for MOTUC, so I was hoping for the Netflix reboot that desperately needs good figures.

7 thoughts on “Thanksgiving For Masters Of The Universe Revelation

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