Thor 4: What Is Its Teaser Good For?

Remember when I thought we’d be getting a trailer for Thor: Love & Thunder shortly after customizing Shocker? Well it exists at last! Thor 4 currently holds the record for shortest gap betwixt first trailer & release date. Much like its forerunner’s, this trailer provides a blog topic ahead of my review. It’s a short teaser, so don’t expect much depth. (People need to stop pretending that teasers are distinct from trailers.) This is mostly an exercise to workshop some wordplay before higher profile outlets steal them. Maybe this way my collaboreview will be a reasonable length this time? Or if nobody reads this, I can get away with recycling these puns in under three months. What I’m saying is supporting the #renewLegendsOfTomorrow campaign is more important at the moment.

Thor_JaneFoster

“Do you even lift Uru hammers, sis?”

Aside from its novel introspective tone, the biggest draw of the teaser is the stinger reveal (Even teaser trailers have stingers now?) of Dr. Jane Foster as The Mighty Thor. This is not a spoiler. Everybody should already know it’s Natalie Portman returning beneath that helmet by now. Marvel Studios has been treating this as a selling point not a secret. Calling her Thor just because of marketing she wields reforged Mjolnir remains awkward since it’s Odinson’s real name not a mantle. Some fans have dubbed her Fosthor to avoid confusion when discussing this dynamic duo. Since TMT is a bit of a mouthful that previously described her ex-paramour, I’ll just call her Natalie Thortman. I’m still concerned that Foster’s arc will get short shrifted since there’s so so many ingredients brewing in this film.

The first batch of Marvel Legends movie figures leaked a week ahead of the teaser. I’m not pleased with two slots being taken by surprisingly new Star-Lord & repacked teen Groot, especially if they’ll only be a glorified cameo. GOTG Vol 3 is coming next year, so they could’ve waited unless these two are getting substantially new looks in the trilogy’s conclusion. I would’ve preferred Frigga, Kurse, Dr. Darcy Lewis, The Warriors Three, The Destroyer, Laufey, armored Heimdall, first film Loki, & Classic Loki with Alloki even if they aren’t in this film. Some comic book Asgardians would’ve been keen too, although the collectors that hate mixing MCU & comics in an assortment are pleased. The deluxe King Valkyrie hasn’t been unveiled yet, unless the listing was actually for this. Where is Miek’s Marvel Legend?

Much like Taika Waititi’s previous Marvel movie, the costuming is on point. Young Thor is wearing the classic Kirby costume in a flashback montage, which underscores that his MCU outfits have been trying too hard. His Ravager costume is Thunderstrike by way of Jack Burton while his blue & gold armor evokes Walt Simonson. The Mighty Thor looks like a superb translation of Esad Ribić’s design. King Valkyrie has a great mix of her introductory outfit with her white armor. Will Tessa Thompson’s character get a real name in addition to her fancy suit? (Valkyrie is just a job description that Jane has also used because inventing new marketable monikers is hard.)

Based on toy line leaks, the biggest deign loser is Gorr The God-Butcher. Christian Bale’s villain looks both boring & ugly. It’s probably for the best that they left him off the trailer so he doesn’t wreck the vibe. Agents Of SHIELD’s Hive looks more like Gorr than this does. He might get an upgrade by the climax? Gorr’s shtick of killing Asgardians with an ebony sword (not Black Knight’s) already makes him sound like an inferior version of MCU Hela. (Hellbenders details how Clancy Brown became Surtur in Thor Ragnarok.) I wish they would’ve picked a more unique baddie since even Thanos has killed Gods. Amora The Enchantress, Jörmungandr, Mangog, Ulik, or Fin Fang Foom would’ve been preferable. What if they don’t even introduce Beta Ray Bill to help layeth the smack down on Gorr? Has BRB been edited out of this shot?

Russell Crowe is playing Zeus for Gorr The God-Butcher to butcher. Will Hercules survive the Olympian massacre? Or is he doomed to perish since MCU Thor essentially has his personality. Does Gorr differentiate between real Deities & Eternals? Might Khonshu & The Ennead from Moon Knight  appear as well?

One scene looks like it’s been lifted straight from the comics. This has lead to more discussion about compensating comics creators when their labors are adapted into movies that rake in the big bucks. This is an instance where I understand fans siding against the corporate IP house even if it’s not how work for hire works. Unless their contract grants them additional rights, work for hire creators aren’t owed anything extra if their stuff gets adapted. DC used to be better at granting bonuses to their artisans in these situations than Marvel. It may not be fair since most freelancers don’t have equal bargaining power to the publishers, but this also isn’t an unjust surprise to anybody working in the industry. Then there’s the issue of whether to compensate a character’s original creators or the ones that made them fan favorites, as these are often not the same. If The Big Two did announce more generous compensation packages for creatives in the case of adaptations, I’d wager Disney & WB would circumvent them by making sure the source material was was jettisoned as much as possible. Instead I’d support raising wages for work for hire creatives now so they won’t have to struggle from project to project & hope they get an extra pittance if a page of dialogue gets quoted in a television series.

The teaser confirmed that I should still be looking forward to this franchise fourth. This should’ve made up for Batman & Robin’s & Avengers Endgame’s numerical naming oversight by titling this one Thor Forever. They could abbreviate it as Thor 4ever or even Th4. That’d be snappier. I appreciated that the trailer didn’t spoil the whole movie. Please return in July for my full Thor: Love & Thunder collaboreview with The Wages Of Cinema to see how much of it I end up plagiarizing from myself.

Now here’s some Loki related content: Nobody agrees on the nature of Loki’s & Sylvie’s relationship. You can tell this is fiction because legions of Loki lovers would’ve snapped up that toy if it existed. Hot Toys Croki includes free President Loki, but the only doll I really need is Classic Loki. Alligator Dough-ki should join the Pet Avengers,which seems to be ahead of both Young Avengers & Thunderbolts in assembling.

~

After reviewing the excellent Everything Everywhere All At Once, I was so busy that I only found time to support the #renewLegendsOfTomorrow week long event on The Twitter. In backwards vision, it may’ve been helpful if it’d blogged about that here too. Many mainstream sites already have a half dozen articles about the Thor 4 teaser & zilch about this crisis. Even its Change.org petition is under advertised.

Legends Of Tomorrow may be getting prematurely cancelled on a cliffhanger. It’s in that anxiety-ridden liminal bubble betwixt cancellation & renewal. It can’t end like Swamp Thing & Lodge 49! There’s too much unresolved! If Doctor Who can keep limping along, there’s no reason not to at least give LOT a proper ending. Even Better Call Saul is getting a final season, so the Arrowverse’s Beeboverse’s best series deserves one as well. Listen to Mr. Parker & Beebo! Its lovely cast & crew ought to be employed long enough to wrap up their time travel tale. Make the right call, The CW! Don’t be a Damien Darhk. Otherwise Roko’s Basilisk will come for everyone that didn’t support it getting an eighth season.

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