Legends Of Tomorrow … IN SPACE!

Now that I’ve finished badmouthing Batwoman for the time being, we can move on to the best of the Beeboverse! Legends of Tomorrow would never insult Bat-Shark Repellent! This was one of the rare series that was able to finish its 2020 run uninterrupted. Living up to its title, this is the last Beeboverse show to return. Since most of the more punctual series (Batwoman, The Flash, Supergirl) are still set in 2020, why isn’t anybody wearing a Fatewatch? SPOILERS abound for “Ground Control To Sara Lance” & the extended trailer! Thankfully my CW affiliate didn’t preempt it like the latest Supergirl & Nancy Drew. Beebo is the only cure for The Anti-Life Equation.

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How Bungled Is Batwoman Season 2?

Although it was off to a tentatively good start, Batwoman season two is on track to be as bad as Arrow season 6. Every time I think I’m ready to blog about how aggravating it’s been this season, they release more episodes. I suppose I might as well publish it now to keep the season finale review shorter. If you enjoy SPOILER complaints, this blog’s for you!

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Does The Falcon &The Winter Soldier Soar Or Freeze?

After last week’s freestyle toy rant breather, it’s back to reviewing stuff the general public cares about. The Falcon & The Winter Soldier was intended to be the first of of Marvel’s Disney+ series but covid prevented that. (Rumors has it a pandemic storyline was scrapped due to an actual pandemic happening. I’m unsure how much credence to give this since this series already has enough percolating without that.) TFATWS isn’t an elegant acronym. Since WandaVision is named for the main character’s ship name, why isn’t this titled Falucky? (This show put their unresolved sexual tension into couples therapy!) Or it could’ve been updated to Captain America & White Wolf. (It’s so odd Marvel dragged out the reveal of Wanda’s supranym for so long while they cavalierly gave Bucky a new codename he didn’t use in the comics.)

This was the series I was least excited about because I’m one of those people who insists Bucky should’ve stayed dead! (I don’t care much about Hawkeye either aside from the new supporting cast.) It’s only thanks to Sebastian Stan that I can bear to tolerate him as a co-lead. He furrows his brow most intensely! Anthony Mackie’s Falcon remains endearing. For better & worse, Disney+’s second MCU series isn’t as ambitious as WandaVision. There are curious parallels to The Boys in content but not tone. Now begin the SPOILERS for Toucan Sam & The Frosted Flake!

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The Toy Fair’s Not Back In Town

Action figures are good, but they can be better! All you have to do is become a customizer! Toys are like drugs except you need to find a place to keep them after the high wears off.

NY Toy Fair has been cancelled for 2021. In lieu of the big press show, many companies are doing smaller virtual conventions through the year. The most hyped was last week’s Hasbro Pulse Fest Fan Fest. Rather than spacing things out, Mattel, Diamond Select, & NECA decided to post similar events around the same time with less fanfare. They were all underwhelming to various degrees. I would’ve made more impulse pre-orders had Hasbro not suddenly jacked up the price of all their 6″ lines by $3. It doesn’t sound that steep on an individual basis, but it adds up when they encourage you to buy entire series of Marvel Legends to complete BAFs. With customers’ budgets already stretched thin by the terrible 2020, this feels like a precarious time to raise prices on non-essentials.

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“Ach, I’m not some nouveau riche piker! I employ people to burn my money for me!”

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Godzilla Vs. Kong: Dawn Of Kaiju Combat!

 There are only two kinds of people in the world: Are you Team Lizerd or Team Monke? A clash of Titans reunited The Wages Of Cinema for an unusually animated collaboreview! Godzilla was declared King Of The Monsters in the last movie. King Kong is just Kong in the Monsterverse so he’s gotta do a regicide to earn his title.

This movie is exactly what it says on the tin, so that should decide for you if it’s your bag. It’s the sort of movie where there both is & isn’t that much to write about. None of this rumble takes place in the jungle, but let’s burrow straight into the Pellucidar Skartaris Hollow Earth of Godzilla Vs. Kong SPOILERS!

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Supergirl’s Swansong Starts In Season Six

Supergirl’s sixth & final season didn’t have a trailer until a week before its premiere? The CW is giving it the Black Lightning season four treatment. (At least it appears to be getting unique “next week” promos.) It’s taking the time slot of Superman & Lois until it resumes in May. Is this the first time superfriends Kara & Barry have regularly aired the same night? Here is your obligatory SPOILER warning for what ought to have been its fifth season finale. There some The Flash & Justice League stuff too if you’d prefer not to stay on topic.

Supergirl MissMartian MartianManhunter

“Was it Earth-Perv?”

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Getting Up To Speed On The Flash’s Seventh Season

Now that I didn’t review the Snyder cut of Justice League starring Staplewolf by popular demand, we can get up to speed on The Flash! (Since the DuckTales finale was the runner-up, you’d expect me to get to that blog first. It takes longer to write reviews where there are hardly any criticisms. I will definitely get to it when it’s no longer newsworthy!) The tail end of The Flash’s sixth season was off to a solid start at the beginning of its seventh season. (There’s a sentence!) How about the last two episodes to close it out? Well I’ve got some good news & some bad news… Oh, season seven officially starts with episode four. SPOILERS ahoy for its latest three episodes!

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Instead of Mirror Master or Mirror Mistress, Eva “not a true Scotswoman” McCulloch opts to dub herself Mirror Monarch just to spite my running gag. Would Reflection Ruler be more precise?

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Justice League Snyder Cut Discourse Is Served!

Welcome to my sixth blogiversary! I had three different blogs in progress (DuckTales series finale, The Flash’s “season Finale,” Justice League Snyder cut) for the stacked events of this anniversary week. I let the people vote, & they chose violence the Snyder cut by a huge margin. Nobody voted for the poor F-Lash, which may explain when last year’s anniversary blog performed poorly despite an adorable Grodd pic. (Aren’t they all?) Keep your eyes peeled for the two losing blogs sometime in the near future.

Black Widow is the opposite of the Snyder cut in the sense that it existed before the pandemic yet its studio doesn’t want you to watch it at home post-pandemic. (If a movie needed $70 million extra dollars for special effects & reshoots, it did not exist in a finished state before.) The Snyder cut of Justice League is being reviewed … elsewhere! Sorry! I still want clickbait visits, just not enough to subscribe to HBOMax. I can’t even afford to review the official tie-in meal kit that sounds like an expensive prank. I have no journalistic integrity! For actual critical analysis, refer to my blogs on Superman & Lois, The Flash, & WandaVision. Here are SPOILERS for a movie I’ve yet to see, so all my spoilers could be wrong? This could be a fun comparison game for you to play at home. So you’re not already sick of this discourse, this blog’s for you!

Steppenwolf

Check out the leaked pic of Stryfe from Deadpool 3!

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Does WandaVision Deserve Derision?

D+ means Disney used to have a higher average before absorbing Fox. Wand Division is the new math. WandaVision was supposed to be bumped it forward to 2020 to make a perfect 20/20 vision joke. Although it completed filming before the pandemic production pauses, unlike Falcon & Winter Soldier, it then got pushed back to its original 2021 slot so it wouldn’t compete with The Mandalorian’s second season. Viewers are supposed to be excited for bona fide Marvel Cinematic Universe characters appearing on a televison show instead of a movie, as if Phil Coulson, Peggy Carter, Nick Fury, Maria Hill, Sif, Jasper Sitwell, Edwin Jarvis, Gideon Malick, Dr. List, & the Howling Commandos didn’t already on Agents of SHIELD & Peggy Carter. Remember when SHIELD premiered & people were mad they’d have to watch one series on free network television to fully understand the Marvel movies they paid for? Now that there’s a bunch of more directly influential series that behind a subscription service paywall, fans are excited?

Marvel Studios’ movies are sometimes described as television in cinemas since they link to form a larger story. This time it could argued that MCU’s lucky thirteenth television series is a long movie split into weekly installments. (So are these Disney+ Marvel series going to be event series? I don’t feel like making new tags for them if they’re each one & done. So this’ll just get the standard “Avengers” & like it. If renewed, we can consider making unique tags.) SPOILER warning for nine episodes of the most popular television series of the moment. You really deserve a prize if you’d made it unspoiled this far.

WandaVision Wanda Maximoff defies her name by being a witch who doesn’t wield a wand. Her Zatanna cosplay was actually scarlet. Continue reading

The Scarlet Speedster’s Seventh Season Returns In A Flash!

Da mit Barry Allen, everyone’s favorite German talk show, finally returns! What became The Flash’s de facto seventh season premiere got pushed back a week when the series premiere of Superman & Lois decided to take both time slots. (I suppose I might as well discuss episode two too.) Much like Riverdale, last season’s run was cut short by three episodes. Am I going to need to come back in a fortnight to recap what would’ve been the sixth season finale & then do what would’ve been season seven’s premiere the week after?

Season six’s impromptu finale ended on a great note with Mirror Mistress victorious, Sue a framed fugitive, & Iris even more missing than before. There’s also a Ralph Dibny debacle that this episode doesn’t directly address. Unlike Riverdale, this season premiere had more intriguing stuff going down. The Flash is back but not a flashback! Full speed ahead for SPOILERS & Grodd puns!

Ultraviolet

She doesn’t appear in this episode, but Ultraviolet was prepared for the Coronavirus crisis. I now have a greater respect for her.

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