Black Lightning Remains Electrifying

None of my pals wanted to see Ramp-age: Era of Inclined Planes with me, & I didn’t take the personal initiative. (Perhaps I’ll get around to it when exactly nobody care anymore.) That means this week’s blog will be about the conclusion of Black Lightning’s inaugural season. While Legends of Tomorrow is the most fun of The CW’s DC shows, Black Lightning may be its overall best. So it’s currently the reverse-Arrow! Spoilers for stuff that happened after the galvanizing premiere including the first finale strike below!

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Legends Of Tomorrow: Beebo Beatdown!

Welcome to Legends Of Tomorrow, the show where everything’s made up and the points don’t matter! Sometimes they screw things up for the better? Here are assorted musings on the third season’s end, although they may cease to be spoilers if time gets broken again.

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Arrow, You Have Failed This Season!

Arrow is really bad now. It’s just so bad, all y’all! If you thought season four was its nadir, have I got news for you! Its sixth season quality has become inversely proportionate to Gotham season four. I would’ve posted this sooner if I didn’t keep finding new layers of terrible as I unraveled it. This is 2,225 words, which means I either spent too much time on this or not enough.

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I’m 100% in favor of Arrow being the Speedy & Nyssa team-up show from now on. So of course that’s not happening.

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Pacific Rim 2: Kaiju Boogaloo!

I saw Pacific Rim: Uprising with The Wages of Cinema’s Jack Gattanella. We managed to neural handshake into a shorter than usual podcast review. Then I made this drone-Jaeger review that’s secretly infested with spoilers! Or as many as you can have for a sequel to a homage of multiple anime & tonkatsu tokusatsu. Giant robot suits punch giant monsters! Will you rise up to scroll down, or are you writing this off as PR Nightmare? At the very end there’s more lamentations about the demise of Toys R Us.

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Alicia Vikander Unearths Tomb Raider’s Lara Croft

Somehow the original Tomb Raider movie managed to be terrible despite stone monkey guardians. I’m still angry they were dispatched so easily! (The Cradle Of Life was better.) While it could’ve used some stone monkeys, the new Tomb Raider movie is legitimutantly good! It’s just not as gonzo as Chronicles of The Ghostly Tribe. This is an opinion I have as a person only peripherally aware of Lara Croft’s legendary exploits. Below I unearth a review with … not much in the way of spoilers. How’d I manage that?

Following in the tradition of Angelina Jolie, another Oscar winning foreigner with a disguise accent was cast as the English protagonist. Sweden’s Alicia Vikander, Oscar winner for Ex Machina, as Lara Croft is worth the price of admission.

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Lara Croft is a cool name, but I would’ve gone with Thomasina Brader for nominative determinism if I had my druthers.

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Third Anniversary Of Underachievement!

Last week this blog had another anniversary! We’re now officially into year three! True to form, I’ve nothing to show for it. I still don’t have a new publisher to get The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose back into print. (Contact me if you’d like to buy one of the limited supply of signed author’s copies of the first edition I have left.) I don’t have a publisher for my second novel, which I’ve yet to complete, either. My priorities & ability to plan ahead remain out of order. Here’s an exclusive image of the scapegoat for my lack of success:

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There’s no mouse this catsquatch won’t trod upon with her GOAT feet in her quest to distract me.

I dropped my phone in Walmart surrounded by strangers & the back popped off. I literally exclaimed, “Oh no! That’s bad!” That’s kind of momentous, right? (Hopefully I’m not as doomed as Toys R Us or Barnes & Noble. The impending late stage capitalism collapse of two of my favorite industries totally isn’t filling me with any existential dread.) I haven’t seen Jessica Jones season two yet, but I have quasi-spoilery recaps for assorted network comic book shows below.

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“Gotham Is Nice. You’ll Like It.”

A movie I really liked won lots of Oscars this year! And the Award for Best In-Universe Commercial goes to… Gotham’s The Sirens Club! Collect your trophies, Danny Cameron, Hanelle Culpepper, Erin Richards, Jessica Lucas, & Camren Bicondova! Despite its excellent club scene, the cast wisely wouldn’t live in Gotham City.

Since the season left off, I’ve found myself in Gotham withdrawal. As a show I begrudging sat through during season one, how did it come to this? Is (Green) Arrow so unwatchable this season that it makes Gotham look great by comparison? (Sometimes I think season six is punishment for me being the only person that hated season five.) Whilst perusing clips online, I came to the conclusion that it has progressively blossomed into a legitimutantly good show just like Agents of SHIELD! Gotham is nonsensical in a kookily entertaining way, whereas (Green) Arrow doesn’t make sense in an infuriatingly dull manner. It’s so despicable now that the boxing glove arrow not being a quiver staple no longer even makes my top five complaints. (The writers threw everyone under the bus in the worst Civil War ripoff because they were too stupid to notice that Black Siren didn’t have an opportunity to personally withdraw the extortion fund for herself! AAARRRRRGGGHHHHHH!!!!) Instead of breaking my keyboard in fury, I’ll thoroughly review the one I don’t currently loathe.

In addition to not feeling as formulaic, Gotham is a better directed series overall than The CW’s DC shows. For instance, “Pieces Of A Broken Mirror” began with with four separate plots geographically converging. We don’t yet learn if Sofia Falcone is managing crime better than Oswald Cobblepot, but there’s lots of other stuff going down. Even underused Lucius Fox gets in on it.

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“Although if you pop a cap in Lee, that’d be just peachy.”

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