Does Avengers: Infinity War Bore?

Last time I did a collaboreview with The Wages of Cinema, it was just Jack & I on Pacific Rim: Uprising. This time we’ve got the whole kooky quartet back together! Forsooth this is the most ambitious crossover event in history! Alas, they can’t all be odes to dirigible crime! Infinite Spoilers for Avengers: Infinity War would be a lie because I eventually run out of them. I did throw in some for Agents of SHIELD because everything is tenuously connected.

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Supervillains Make Gotham Great (Again)

So I was going to incorporate this into the forthcoming fourth finale review of Gotham, but it’s already as long as a typical article. The finales of this, Riverdale, Arrow, Agents of SHIELD, & The Flash are all happening within a week of each other too. Even Deadpool 2 debuts then because Grodd forbid the media I’m interested in covering be spaced out. I’m not sure if those critiques will be mashed together into a gargantuan combo review (What do you suggest, readers?), but it doesn’t need to be even longer. So here’s more spoilerish Gotham gab for a week where it doesn’t bother airing because they understand everyone’s at Avengers: Infinity War anyway. (That’s next week’s blog.)

I don’t mind WB dithering on The Batman movie possibly starring Ben Affleck. This season of Gotham has become the giant-size Batman film I’ve always wanted but otherwise wouldn’t get. Mostly because brooding Batman (He’s dressed like a bat, but it’s everyone else who’s mad?) isn’t there to draw focus away from all the kooky villains. Not since BTAS have I been so invested in rooting for so many miscreants. The secret to the show’s success is to stock its sets with scrumptious scenery & let thespian foes with GIF-able faces gorge themselves upon it.

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Now all they need to do is recruit Jimbo Gordon, & their barbershop quartet will be bigger than The Beatles!

“Come to Gotham City & be murdered by the world’s most flamboyant criminals!” The Gotham Gazette is 90% crime blotter & 10% upcoming events sure to become crime scenes. Security firms could make a mint in town if they weren’t cowards.

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Black Lightning Remains Electrifying

None of my pals wanted to see Ramp-age: Era of Inclined Planes with me, & I didn’t take the personal initiative. (Perhaps I’ll get around to it when exactly nobody care anymore.) That means this week’s blog will be about the conclusion of Black Lightning’s inaugural season. While Legends of Tomorrow is the most fun of The CW’s DC shows, Black Lightning may be its overall best. So it’s currently the reverse-Arrow! Spoilers for stuff that happened after the galvanizing premiere including the first finale strike below!

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Legends Of Tomorrow: Beebo Beatdown!

Welcome to Legends Of Tomorrow, the show where everything’s made up and the points don’t matter! Sometimes they screw things up for the better? Here are assorted musings on the third season’s end, although they may cease to be spoilers if time gets broken again.

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Arrow, You Have Failed This Season!

Arrow is really bad now. It’s just so bad, all y’all! If you thought season four was its nadir, have I got news for you! Its sixth season quality has become inversely proportionate to Gotham season four. I would’ve posted this sooner if I didn’t keep finding new layers of terrible as I unraveled it. This is 2,225 words, which means I either spent too much time on this or not enough.

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I’m 100% in favor of Arrow being the Speedy & Nyssa team-up show from now on. So of course that’s not happening.

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Pacific Rim 2: Kaiju Boogaloo!

I saw Pacific Rim: Uprising with The Wages of Cinema’s Jack Gattanella. We managed to neural handshake into a shorter than usual podcast review. Then I made this drone-Jaeger review that’s secretly infested with spoilers! Or as many as you can have for a sequel to a homage of multiple anime & tonkatsu tokusatsu. Giant robot suits punch giant monsters! Will you rise up to scroll down, or are you writing this off as PR Nightmare? At the very end there’s more lamentations about the demise of Toys R Us.

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Alicia Vikander Unearths Tomb Raider’s Lara Croft

Somehow the original Tomb Raider movie managed to be terrible despite stone monkey guardians. I’m still angry they were dispatched so easily! (The Cradle Of Life was better.) While it could’ve used some stone monkeys, the new Tomb Raider movie is legitimutantly good! It’s just not as gonzo as Chronicles of The Ghostly Tribe. This is an opinion I have as a person only peripherally aware of Lara Croft’s legendary exploits. Below I unearth a review with … not much in the way of spoilers. How’d I manage that?

Following in the tradition of Angelina Jolie, another Oscar winning foreigner with a disguise accent was cast as the English protagonist. Sweden’s Alicia Vikander, Oscar winner for Ex Machina, as Lara Croft is worth the price of admission.

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Lara Croft is a cool name, but I would’ve gone with Thomasina Brader for nominative determinism if I had my druthers.

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