The Cinematic Adaptation Of Annihilation

I felt obligated to see Annihilation in the cinema since it’s going straight to Netflix in most nations & is being overshadowed by Black Panther pandemonium.¬† It’s based on a book … I haven’t read yet. Sorry, I’m not gonna be much help with adaptation insights here. Why can’t Hollywood ever adapt something I’ve read? Well Peter Rabbit looks like a terrible Beatrix Potter adaptation, but part of me still wants to see General Hux on the receiving end of slapstick violence. Oh, Ready Player One is happening. I resent that its ads are ironically¬† co-opting “Pure Imagination!” Grodd damn it, monkey’s paw! It should’ve been Snowcrash or Neuromancer!

My theater was almost sold out, so I got stuck craning my neck in the front row. It was not an ideal situation. The cast often looked flattened & oddly proportioned as a result of my forced perspective. I’m unsure if this enhanced the body horror. Below begins the annihilation of your pre-spoilers existence.

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Black Panther Dethrones Toy Fair

I went to Wakanda with The Wages of Cinema to visit Black Panther! My kitty’s mad I saw it without her. This I know from speaking the universal language of Espurranto. (I should start calling her Snuggletooth.) Let’s dive right off Warrior Falls into SPOILERS. If you’ve not seen it yet, skip even further down to the tilde for Toy Fair 2018 SPOILERS!

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Syfy Made Me Happy!

It’s usually easier to review something I dislike. I can point out its perceived shortcomings, explain why it didn’t appeal to me, & make suggestions of how to fix it, all while incorporating snarky quips. Meanwhile I struggle to write thorough reviews of media that just click with me. (Perhaps one day I can be as insightful as The Institute of Gremlins 2 Studies.) This installment comes later than expected because I wanted to write a meaningful recommendation of Happy! beyond “I liked this! It’s good; trust me.”

Syfy has won me over with its adaptation of Happy! Much like FILLER! & mother! (I learned only too late that it has no capitals), its loopiness bleeds into my sentence structure thanks to its mandatory exclamation mark. Sometimes it feels like it was made just for me! The Grant Morrison & Darick Robertson comic is only four issues, so it’s perfect length for a feature film. Unlike Inhumans, it translated surprisingly well into an eight episode TV season. The expanded stuff is legitimutantly engaging instead of empty padding.

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Black Lightning Strikes!

Last week The CW was finally struck by Black Lightning! It’s currently airing in Legends Of Tomorrow’s former slot while they & Supergirl will share. I would’ve reviewed it more punctually last week if I didn’t have that The Gifted finale piece in the works. Thankfully it’s much more electrifying than Syfy’s Krypton trailer that doesn’t even have the basic decency to dress Adam Strange like Buck Rogers. (Krypton’s Adam Strange < MCU’s Stephen Strange < Gotham’s Hugo Strange) In the unlikely event that you’ve not watched it yet, be forewarned I’m going to thoroughly discuss the pilot with speculation.

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Black Jupiter would’ve made more sense than Black Vulcan.

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The Gifted Vs. Inhumans

The Gifted’s first season wrapped up, so I belatedly powered my way through the last half of Inhumans. (Surely more readers are interested in how that ended now than ever before!) Now I can accurately contrast their conclusions in my follow up to the comparison of their premieres. If you don’t like reading words, you can scroll all the way down for a summary GIF. SPOILERS & legitimutantly bonkers fan theories away!

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He turned his helmet insignia into a Slammer either because he’s a bad dad or the film timeline is nonsensical.

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Westworld Isn’t The Best World

Bombogenesis is fun to say but not fun to experience! So I took a vacation to balmy Westworld. Was HBO’s remake of Westworld the best world? Drat, I really have to stop spoiling my reviews in their headlines. I’ll start by noting the music, production values, acting, & opening titles are fantastic now so I can concentrate on nitpicking. Perhaps I should’ve gone to Alton Towers for its Wicker Man roller coaster instead? At least its gift shop wouldn’t run out of Bort license plates. Hop on the very SPOILERY critique train below for my cold take!

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Michael Crichton realized he could split one 1969 movie into two franchises.

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