Thank you to everyone who celebrated my blog’s birthday with me! I hope you enjoy your 99¢ eBooks & remember to leave a review!
John “Finn the human” Boyega retweed me!
Now I can’t stop getting notifications. If only there was some way to get everyone who hearted it to read a specific book…
I’m disappointed that red Kryptonite on Supergirl just made her a jerk. They shouldn’t be repeating Smallville’s mistakes. Red Kryptonite can have any surreal effect writers dream of, so making it so cliche was a waste. She didn’t even go full world-conquering evil with a snazzy pope hat!
Did you know I started writing a screenplay for The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose before Booktrope made it available to purchase as a book? I’d still love to see it adapted into a feature film. Perhaps a limited run TV series like Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell would be even better so less would need to be cut for time constraints. So I’ve taken the liberty of fan-casting (until the book’s popularity takes off, I must serve additionally as its biggest fan) a possible live action adaptation. My absurdly extensive cast list has shifted a bit over the years, but this is who I’d go with if production started right now:
Brother Banenose – Ian Holm
With range spanning Napoleon Bonaparte to Bilbo Baggins, Ian Holm can make a befuddled monk compelling. If you think he’s too old, then know that Derek Jacobi is my second choice. We’re going full ageist on this one.
Fairuza – Annet Mahendru
I cycled through a bunch of actresses before it struck me that Annet Mahendru was the perfect Fairuza. She’ll get to be more screwball & less dour than she is on The Americans. All she needs is a fancy dagger, a rawhide ensemble, & a necklace of teeth!
Norbert – Dylan Moran
Dylan Moran starred as an irascible character with just enough charm that you didn’t want him booted off screen in Black Books. This will be crucial as Norbert goes full dirtbag.
Stephfi the Marauderatrix – Rachel Skarsten
Stephfi was tough to cast until I realized that superhero movies prove any thespian can upgrade their physique for a role. All Lost Girl’s Rachel Skarsten has to do is massively bulk up & wear lifts in her boots. She already has the warrior attitude.
The All-Seeing Insect Of Doom – Kristen Schaal
Kristen Schaal’s voice can oscillate between irritating & adorable, so she’ll find the ideal medium for The All-Seeing Insect Of Doom’s squawks of ill tiding. Muppeteers will bring its body to life.
Read on, for I’ve cast even more obscure characters after the break!