Lethe Press Rescues Brother Banenose From Distress!

My first novel, The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose, going out of print was a very depressing, hectic, & confusing time for me. Fortunately that period is coming to an end. Lethe Press will be republishing The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose! Lethe Press specializes in both LGBTQIA fiction & rescuing out of print books from the River Lethe. Its publisher, Steve Berman, personally reached out to me about giving the book a new home.

Lethe Press plans to relaunch the book this fall. (I’m crossing my fingers & toes that this doesn’t become an annual occurrence.) The new edition will feature a revised afterword & a new cover. So there will be some degree of novelty in the new edition if you’ve already got the first. You’ll be able to put them side by side to compare & contrast. So if you missed out on The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose the first time, you’re getting a second chance. If you liked the book so much that you’d like to buy it again, you’re also in luck!

Thank you very much for bringing Brother Banenose, Fairuza, Stephfi, & all the rest aboard, Lethe Press!

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Buy Brother Banenose Now Because Booktrope Is Bust!

It seems like whenever I plan to take a short holiday from this blog, I end up having perfect weekly attendance anyway. I actually had travel plans, so I felt confident in my latest responsibility shirking announcement this time. Then on Friday night, I received a notification from Booktrope that it’s shutting down at the end of May. So Mercury Retrograde can take a flying leap onto a barbwire dildo!

What this means is that May 31, 2016, will be your final opportunity acquire THE DOLOROUS ADVENTURE OF BROTHER BANENOSE! Without a publisher, the eBooks & paperbacks will go out of production. So if you’ve been procrastinating on trading in a tiny fraction of your income for a copy, now’s the time. If you’ve already got one, please post some reviews online so others find out that it’s a quality book that exists (especially if they’re in the entertainment business). With only a month to go, I’m really counting on all of you out there to spread the news for one last hurrah. Thank you all very much for your continued support of my creative endeavors.

When you buy The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose (in bulk to give away away or stockpile for the forthcoming mutant Apocalypse) you’re not just supporting one starving artist. Royalties also go to my talented team-members: Majanka Verstraete, Martin Jones, & Ashley Ruggirello. This book would’ve have happened without them. My proceeds will also support this furry widdle monstress:

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It took four treats just to bribe her for one endorsement photo!

It’s a huge bummer that Booktrope is shutting down. It feels like a repeat of what befell Topless Robot.  (I’m still looking for replacement writing opportunities, in case you have any leads on professional gigs.) I was very fortunate that Booktrope published my book before going belly-up. There were many other books in the works that weren’t so lucky. My paranoia about that chronicled in my novel’s Appendix may have jinxed things for them. OOPS. The shutdown is affecting all the other Booktrope authors too, so take a look at their wares as well before it’s too late. I apologize for not making the blockbuster bestseller that would’ve saved the entire company.

So as not to completely depress us, here’s some things that may result from this calamity. I was trying to arrange some live readings, but it’s going to be awkward promoting an out of print book. Booktrope is going to release the book’s rights back to me in June. This means I can search for a new publisher for my book. This may take quite a long time to sort out, so don’t get your hopes up yet. Even if I do get a new edition of The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose released, it’ll be different from the one which is now a limited time offer. At the very least, it won’t bear the Booktrope logo. So the first editions will definitely become collector’s items! Get aboard this rare folio train before it leaves the station of affordability! I’ll also try to make that audiobook edition happen for your awaiting ears.

I want to thank Booktrope very much for making my long festering dreams of becoming a professionally published author & illustrator come true. I’m just sad our relationship ended so abruptly. After figuring out the learning curve, I was looking forward to producing more books with their hybrid platform. I hope everybody involved is able to bounce back from this tragedy.

As for me, I still intend to keep this blog running. I will keep you posted on the quest for a new publisher, so make sure you’re following me on all the platforms linked to the heart icon. Updates on my second novel will also trickle in. Come back next week for me to answer what Captain America: Civil War is good for. If this May really is The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose’s final month,  however, I hope you can help make it one for the record books.

Begin Buying Brother Banenose Books!

Thank you very much to everyone who’ve bought books! Your generosity & taste has warmed the cockles of my shriveled heart. If you haven’t bought a copy or forty-two of The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose, you need to do that RIGHT NOW! My sister was very adamant that I stress this up front as she was greatly displeased with the structure of my last blog. Therefore I have to be very mercenary to appease her. My apologies for being gauche.  Amazon as well as Barnes & Noble have it in both ebook & paperback editions. The ebook is now on iTunes. You can ask your local indie book store to special order it for you. GO BUY IT NOW!

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The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose is real! Look what arrived  yesterday:

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Want a shot at winning a signed copy? Come to the virtual release party this Thursday (not to be confused with Thursday Next)!

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Das traurige Abenteuer des Bruder Banenose kommt jetzt auf Deutsch!

I’m very grateful that Matt the Catania has been visited by readers across the globe. (We’re still awaiting visitors from Svalbard, Kiribati, Iran, Syria, Cuba, Central African Republic, Western Sahara, Eritrea, Equatorial Guinea, Guinea-Bissau, North Korea, Liechtenstein, Lesotho, Oman, Swaziland, Tajikistan, Turkmenistan, Zimbabwe, & Antarctica.) I’m especially impressed by visitors for whom English is not their native tongue. I admire your dedication regardless of whether you’re a polyglot, using translation software, or just looking at the pictures. Which is why today’s painting obfuscated with an excerpt is in German. Dieses ist für sie, Deutschland, Österreich, die Schweiz, und ein bißchen Belgien!

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You may be a bit perplexed right now, but I can assure you this is actual dialogue from The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose. Stephfi the Marauderatrix speaks German. Don’t worry if you’re not a native German speaker. My book will teach you several German phrases that have minimal application to contemporary life!

Unfortunately there isn’t a full Deutsch translation in the works yet. I would be very happy if The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose were available if numerous languages in the near future. Its first run sales will probably go a long way towards foreign publishers working something out with Booktrope. So convince your international pen pals to buy a copy even if they can’t read it in its original format. It’s kind of like one of Walter Moers’s Zamonia books. Or for a non-Germanic name drop, let’s brazenly invoke Douglas Adams. I’m allowed to do this since I kept my Dad from grave-robbing him at Highgate Cemetery.

He REALLY wanted the pound on top.

He REALLY wanted the pound on top.

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TDAOBB ETA TBA!

So last week I promised you big news about The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose. For once, I wasn’t lying!

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The author, seen here with the first volume of the orginial manuscript.

Lots of behind the scenes action went down since the last time I typed to you. I updated the book’s blurb, & it was approved! I photographed all my oversize paintings & had Shamus Fatzinger professionally ensure they’ll reproduce well! I finished reviewing Martin Jones’s proofreading! I approved Ashley Ruggirello’s cover design, & Booktrope approved it too! I finished last minute revisions to the manuscript! Most importantly, It’s been uploaded to layout!

Yes, the cogs of production are now officially turning to make The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose a book you can read without breaking into my house! It took years to get to this point. It probably took even longer than it needed because this perfectionist had to force himself to stop tinkering with it. I’ve revised the blarmy manuscript so many times that I’ve incurred acute dyslexia & aphasia. Now it’s t’s done, mostly because any changes now that it’s been sent to layout would end up costing me. So I can’t look at it anymore otherwise I’ll be tempted to capitalize everything again.

This is ordinarily the part where I announce the release date. Unfortunately Booktrope can’t provide a firm release date as that’s decided by vendors, but layout has informed me that the book should be ready by late September or early October. I will keep you updated on things as they progress, but The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose is definitely on track for a Fall ’15 release. Trick-or-treaters will love them, so stock up! I will be extra obnoxious once it’s officially ready to purchase just to make sure you don’t miss out. Warn your loved ones that it approaches!

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“THREE BOOKS? Wait a minute. Hold it. Nobody said anything about three books!”

My feline overlord is the big three today!

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So … I Still Have A Book Deal?

Thank you to everyone who congratulated me on the forthcoming publication of The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose! Despite not referencing any known properties, it was a surprisingly popular post. It was the first in three weeks that didn’t mention Jemmacide. And now I have to reset the counter.

So this week’s big news is … I still have a book deal. I think. I’m in that paranoid phase where I fear that the book deal will turn out to be a clerical error now that I’ve announced it to the world. Then on top of the disappointment & shame of the book not being published, one of my eyes would be plucked from my head before I’m cast out into a den of leper urchins. Plus my cat would have foolishly trade my old lamp for a Djinnless new one & be whisked off by someone who’s definitely not the itinerant peddler they purported to be. That’s how this scenario would play out in The Book of 1,000 Nights & a Night. 

So other than my inability to cope with an influx of eustress, here’s some tidbits about the state of the project: I’ve assembled an international dream team to work on the book with me. Maybe I’ll introduce you to them next week. The manuscript is currently in the editing phase.  There is no firm release date set for The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose yet, but I estimate it will range between late 2015 & early 2016. I am working on a brand new painting specifically for the cover.

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THE DOLOROUS ADVENTURE OF BROTHER BANENOSE Is Coming To Your Bookshelf!

Yes, I specifically mean YOUR bookshelf.

So after years of fruitless querying, I finally have a book deal! The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose will be published … as a book … that you can buy! It has been officially picked up by the indie publishing house Booktrope. I didn’t even need to grovel first. I’m feeling pretty shpadoinkle about this development. Aside from this being grand news for me, here’s why it’s good news for you too:

1. It won’t be self-published. This means that somebody besides me declared “Yes, The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose is a book that ought to be published!” Doesn’t that make you feel much better about reading it in the future? There will also be people with professional experience helping to maintain quality control. This works out well for me because I don’t need to spend money I don’t have up front to get my book published in the offchance that I can sell it directly to enough people to recoup my expenses. Foucault’s Pendulum warned me about that scam. It ends with me having to sleep under a makeshift lean-to composed of unsold copies & carry oversized hobo bindles for me & my cat. Yes, she’s that lazy.

2. It won’t be crowdfunded. My book will not be competing with other projects for your advance patronage. As a semi-recluse, I doubt I know enough people to fund a successful campaign. So if you wanted the book but it didn’t meet its minimum, both of us would remain unsatisfied.  If it did get fully funded, on the other hand, you’d still run the risk of me frittering away your investment on library sale books & action figures instead of production. This also saves me the hassle of creating different rewards tier incentives on top of making & shipping the book itself. Booktrope already has logistics for production & distribution of mind-altering tomes worked out. This reduces the risk of you missing out if you didn’t pre-order before a campaign deadline (because there won’t be one).

3. I’ll still have a lot of input into the final product. Booktrope’s publishing platform provides plenty of freedom to authors. As a first time author, I would not receive the same level of control if a major publisher had the good sense to accept my manuscript. I get to hand select an international team to ferry The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose to completion. It may even remain the comic misadventures of a Medieval monk named Brother Banenose, but that may change drastically once I receive my editor’s notes. I can even include illustrations (provided I figure out a workaround for oversize flatbed scanners being extinct).  So if Booktrope is willing to give me enough rope to hang myself, I’m sure as Hell going to tie an excellent noose!

Booktrope has distribution infrastructure set up with retailers such as Amazon & Barnes & Noble, so it shouldn’t be that difficult to obtain a copy of The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose. The book will be produced in both electromagnetic & carbon based varieties. So far the only downside that I see is that Booktrope does not pay advances to authors to live off before books go to press. I will only be earning my share of its royalties. So I’d greatly appreciate it if you bought a copy or forty-two of The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose when it comes out! They’ll make excellent gifts for everyone you know. I’ll even sign your e-book if you accost me at the supermarket. (Please don’t accost in the supermarket because I’ll scream & it’ll be embarrassing for everyone.)

Special thanks to Cain S. Latrani for getting me in touch with Booktrope. So pick up his forthcoming War Witch: Rise too!

In other recent developments, I’ve also got a new list on Topless Robot this week that you should read because it contains both Rocksteady & Bebop! 10 Reasons why the 2012 TMNT Cartoon Is the Best Version in all Media

Finally, the blog has surpassed the thousand visitors mark this week! Thanks for swinging by! Keep coming back for more as I give updates on the progress of The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose & other stuff I’m working on.

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I Want You To Want To Read Me!

Hola, faithful readers from a variety of nations! I realize that there are scads of blogs competing for your attention, but you’ve chosen (for the moment) to read mine. I’m honored!* It feels like I’m writing in an echo chamber, however, because I haven’t received many comments from people like you. I’d chalk up the silence to “you’re doing everything right; no need for us to interrupt,” but I’m not sure I’m that egotistical. So I’m looking for your feedback on how I can ensure Matt The Catania: Almost Clever! is a blog you’d like to continue reading.

I’ve come across plenty of blogs where the author has a very focused mission statement:

“I love writing/photography/cooking/acting/gardening/fencing/taxidermy/etc.! I think about it 24/7! Whenever I’m unable to do this specific activity, life  loses all its value!”

I feel somewhat aberrant in comparison because I don’t have one overwhelming passion. Instead I possess a diversified array of obssessions because I want to be a dilettante when I grow up. Do you, however, have a preference for me to focus on specific topics rather than others?

As you may have already noticed, I sometimes write things. I’ve even been paid to do this. making me a professional writer. While I’m not going to post a full length novel here, I think I could manage the occasional short story. I do poetry for glory. Are you interested in more behind the scenes peeks at articles I’ve written for Topless Robot, io9, & Legal As She Is Spoke? Is there a particular format or topic you’d like me to cover? Are my musings too verbose or too succinct?

I like making movies, but unfortunately there won’t be many of my own here. This is simply because I don’t personally own filmographic equipment & it takes lots of people working together to make something worth watching. I can show you various videos I’ve cameoed in for friends. I may even make a guest appearance in one of your films if you ask! Otherwise I have plenty of anecdotes about FILLER! That’s what everybody needs, right?

Consuming culture is another thing that I do. Afterwards I analyze it. So I could critique novels, comic books, TV shows, & movies for you. The problem is that there are already so many outlets that already do that. I’d have to think of a unique way to make my rambling reviews radically relevant from the rest. Do you have any suggestions.

I’m an avid action figure aficionado. I’m even customized some. I’ve also built model kits. Would you be interested in me posting digital photographs of those here? I also  provide many cat & vacation snaps as alternatives.

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Nightcrawler has ported in to break up all the text. (Why can’t he just wear his classic costume in the movies since they’ve established he has the same circus background as the comics? Or have velvety blue fur instead of weirdly elaborate scars?) Do you like these sorts of things? Have you ever been compelled to share these “memes” about on The Interwuzzle? Also, do you prefer having to click on really long posts to see the entirety or would you rather they take up as much of the front page as needed?

Most of my art is done with pencil or paint. Do you like to see planning sketches or just finished pieces? Next week I’d like to discuss another painting for The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose. I have three paintings in various stages of completion & three that are ready for viewing. Based on these extremely vague titles, which would you prefer me blog about next?
1. theft
2. pursuit
3. pounce

So tell me in the comments section below (or on my Fan Page or The Twitter) how I can provide content that’s more relevant to your interests. Even one reader’s comment can shape the course of this blog! Will it be yours?

*”HONOR!” is a registered trademarked of Prince Zuko

Now See The Movie That Has A Cameo By The Book You Can’t Read Yet!

Back in 2011, I entered The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose into Amazon’s CreateSpace Breakthrough Novel Contest. It proceeded to not win. As a consolation prize, Amazon gave me physical copy of my book for free. I got to design my own cover for it too, although it’s not as grand as one I would like for the mass market version.  I really want the book to be bound in leather with gold lettering for that Folio Society effect. If I’m going to be delusional, I might as well have delusions of grandeur. But the important thing was that I now have a limited edition of the book I wrote!

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As fate would have it, Jack Gattanella (with whom I had previously worked with on FILLER!) was putting together his first feature film, Green Eyes, around the same time. I kept pestering him that he should include my spiffy new book in the movie, especially as he & his wife, Korey Hughes, had already been forced to read it. After much cajoling, he finally consented. He invited me to play a guest for the party scene. For the most part, I can be seen passed out on the couch clutching The Dolorous Adventure of Banenose, because who goes to parties to socialize anyway? I am further notable for my bootleg Multiple Man (sometime mistaken for Irish Thor) shirt.

For one sequence, Jack had me sit up on the couch next to star Audrey Lorea whilst she has a conversation with someone else & then departs. I improved slumping across the newly vacant sofa space & asking the other actress “Did I ever tell you about THE TIME?” Jack laughed, so I continued to do this for the rest of the takes.

Jack needed extras for a club scene, so I volunteered for a second day of filming. This time I was wearing the Canadian sweatshirt I’d recently acquired  in Winnipeg but without my book. I did, however, write “THE DOLOROUS ADVENTURE OF BROTHER BANENOSE” on the bar’s whiteboard as if it’s also the name of a band that has a gig there. I’m not sure if it’s visible in the final cut, but the implication is that Green Eyes is set in an alternate reality where The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose is already A Thing.

I didn’t see Green Eyes until Jack held a premiere party for it in NYC in 2013. Unfortunately, “Did I ever tell you about THE TIME?” was nowhere to be heard in the final cut. There is also a scene where the leads discuss an unjacketed book & remark “Yeah, that wizard was pretty crap.” I was gobsmacked because this would’ve been the ideal scene to showcase The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose. I would’ve lent him the book for that day of filming had I known this was going to happen in the movie (I wasn’t privy to the screenplay).

Although perhaps it’s for the best that The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose didn’t have its closeup in that scene. The wizard in my book is an Anubis baboon & is therefore incapable of being crap. It also has a witch as its stealth protagonist (or antagonist, depending on your perspective) who is responsible for much of the story’s propulsive action. I wouldn’t want prospective readers in the audience to be turned off by an inaccurate remark about it.

The important thing is that I still appear in the film! I’m credited as “Dolorous Adventure Man” even though you wouldn’t notice the book was in the movie if I hadn’t just told you. Not only that, but you now purchase your own copy of Green Eyes for your viewing pleasure! You can make a (drinking?) game of looking for me & other FILLER! cast members. Get clicking on this link with your piggy bank at the ready! Amazon is even offering it at a discount off its already reasonable price. You can’t afford not to add Green Eyes to your DVD collection! It’s like owning a piece of history you didn’t even need to liberate from from a museum.

And that’s the secret origin of how I got The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose a licensing placement in a feature film without having a publishing deal!

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Whose cat has four thumbs & has a special Interwuzzle gig coming up this weekend? This Saturday, March 28, I will be guest blogging at io9! Feel free to stop by & gawp at the potential swath of devastation I leave in my wake.

P. S. Did I ever tell you about THE TIME?