No Theme This Week!

So there’s no through-line to this week’s blog! You like hearing anecdotes about my glossy-pelted kitty, right? Someone in the neighborhood honked their horn during my cat’s lunch, & she immediately left her meal to go to the door as if she expected her ride had arrived.

I found dirty footprints on my kitchen floor. The prints had four toes, but my cat has six. DUN DUN DUN! Is my kitty clever enough to disguise her footprints or has some normal-toed feline gotten into the house?

My brother-in-law said there’s no value in a conversation about whether my cat looks like King Kong:

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Mentally superimpose a helicopter over the mouse.

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The Wages of Publication … Is Death!

The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose is a real live book! It came out right in the nick of time for me to be eligible for a “30 Under 30” list … hint, hint, whoever writes “30 Under 30” lists. Booktrope letting me become a first time professional author & illustrator in one go was an excellent early birthday gift!

I’ve been interviewed by my pal Jack “Green Eyes” Gattanella on The Wages of Cinema podcast about my writing process, creative pursuits, & nerdy pastimes!

Important question: Would you be interested in buying color prints of the book’s paintings? Let me know in the comments.

Hey readers! Send in your snap shots with the book! I’m not sure how best to add them in the comment section, but you can post them to the Fan Page or tweet them with #BrotherBanenose. (Maybe this is what Instagram & Pinterest are for?)Then I’ll repost them so YOU can become even more Interwuzzle famous. Bonus points if you get a photo of it being sold at an actual brick & mortar store. Here, I’ll start us off. Check out the lovely gilded bands Ashley Ruggirello put on the spine:

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Don’t have a copy of The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose yet? Barnes & Noble, Amazon, & iTunes can hook you up.

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Uncovering Brother Banenose’s Cover!

Remember back when I showed you the painting that would part of the cover? Well now i can finally reveal the finished front! Click below to see it unveiled in all its splendor! Of course if you’ve been directed here via social media, you’ve probably already been spoiled. But click onward anyway because I wrote some more stuff afterwards.

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TDAOBB ETA TBA!

So last week I promised you big news about The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose. For once, I wasn’t lying!

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The author, seen here with the first volume of the orginial manuscript.

Lots of behind the scenes action went down since the last time I typed to you. I updated the book’s blurb, & it was approved! I photographed all my oversize paintings & had Shamus Fatzinger professionally ensure they’ll reproduce well! I finished reviewing Martin Jones’s proofreading! I approved Ashley Ruggirello’s cover design, & Booktrope approved it too! I finished last minute revisions to the manuscript! Most importantly, It’s been uploaded to layout!

Yes, the cogs of production are now officially turning to make The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose a book you can read without breaking into my house! It took years to get to this point. It probably took even longer than it needed because this perfectionist had to force himself to stop tinkering with it. I’ve revised the blarmy manuscript so many times that I’ve incurred acute dyslexia & aphasia. Now it’s t’s done, mostly because any changes now that it’s been sent to layout would end up costing me. So I can’t look at it anymore otherwise I’ll be tempted to capitalize everything again.

This is ordinarily the part where I announce the release date. Unfortunately Booktrope can’t provide a firm release date as that’s decided by vendors, but layout has informed me that the book should be ready by late September or early October. I will keep you updated on things as they progress, but The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose is definitely on track for a Fall ’15 release. Trick-or-treaters will love them, so stock up! I will be extra obnoxious once it’s officially ready to purchase just to make sure you don’t miss out. Warn your loved ones that it approaches!

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“THREE BOOKS? Wait a minute. Hold it. Nobody said anything about three books!”

My feline overlord is the big three today!

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Can I Pronunciate?

At least two people thus far have asked me how to pronounce The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose. “Is it something like bay-na-no-say, ban-eno-sa, or bah-neno-see? And do you have to say it with at least one of your hands pinched before you, fingers upturned, in a cavitating upwards motion?”

I’m sure there’s an even larger number of you at home wondering the same question but are too bashful or ambivalent to ask. And the pulse pounding answer to this age old question is … I pronounce it bane-nose, but the inevitable gritty reboot will attempt to make it sound like a real surname. Effusive hand gestures are encouraged whichever way you say his name.

So mentioning the Archie/Sharknado crossover last week got me thinking about the seminal Archie Meets the Punisher. You may recall the epilogue where Wolverine is on the trail of the world’s most dangerous mutant that looks just like Jughead, the Riverdale ripoff of Wimpy, but with a swankier king hat. To this very day, a follow up Jughead Meets Wolverine comic has not been produced to resolve this cliffhanger.

If such a comic did exist, the one plot point that absolutely must happen is Jughead getting his grubby little mitts on the Ruby of Cyttorak to become the new Juggernaut. (It’d almost make up for “The Once & Future Juggernaut” immediately undoing the awesome Living Monolith as Juggernaut development to anticlimactically revert the title back to Cain Marko in the dumbest finale possible.)  We could call him something snappy like Headnaut. No, wait, let’s try that again: Juggerhead.  Why doesn’t Juggerhead exist?

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I believe this is my first attempt at drawing Jughead. It’s kind of terrifying. Bonus fun fact: I used to take Saturday morning art classes at the Joe Kubert School  from Fernando Ruiz, illustrator of Archie Vs. Predator.

Speaking of the Canucklehead, tell Hugh Jackman what you want in the last Wolverine movie. Nobody tell him “Old Man Logan” because, quality concerns aside, it makes no sense without carte blanche access to the MCU’s (not Fox’s) characters. I vote for the classic masked yellow/blue costume & Omega Red. Or fighting dinosaurs, cave men mutates, & Sauron (not the one in LOTR) in the Savage Land.

So the upcoming SHIELD Venom lava lamp = Jemmacide confirmed? Or is it merely a conspiracy to troll with economical merchandise? Discuss in the comments.

Remember when I told you about the SDCC Marvel Legends vote? Now you can vote for one of four finalists (Darkhawk, Angela, Mysterio, another gorram symbiote Spider-Man).  I call shenanigans on SDCC attendees voting Spider-Man into the finals over Nova (Sam Alexander), Cosmo, Nebula, Quasar, Borr, the Disir, Executioner, Sif, Malekith, Ulik, & Lyra. They’re just going to make him again anyway to fill a slot in a Spider-Man Legends assortment, so don’t throw your vote away on him! (Mysterio is also likely to be made again regardless, but at least Mysterio is stupendous!) Otherwise I’ll have to learn a very particular set of skills.

Vote on the next Disney Infinity character too. It definitely lets you stuff the ballot box as many times as you refresh! Mabel Pines currently has a slight lead over Darkwing Duck. This I will allow since Gravity Falls is amazing & Kristen Schaal needs to play Squirrel Girl in a live action Marvel movie to spare us all from Thanos’s blandness. It’d be nice to get Darkwing as an incentive for Disney to release the rest of his cartoon on DVD. I’m disappointed Kim Possible isn’t performing better since she’s awesome & deserves more merchandise in addition to a complete series DVD set. The the Alice & Mad Hatter options being from the lame Burton film instead of the excellent cartoon is most infuriating. Why is naked singing Baloo from The Jungle Book an option instead of pantless pilot Baloo from TaleSpin? Where is Uncle Scrooge?

THE VOICE OF GRODD FOLLOWS ME! This sounds like something a schizophrenic person might say. It’s also something completely unexpected that happened on The Twitter since I wasn’t stalking David Sobolov before. Katrina Law also has good taste in tweets. Also on this confounding platform, I declared that Bex Taylor-Klaus & Jacqueline Toboni ought to play sisters in something. Trubel & Sin concur with me. Together they fight crime … with dancing!

Yeah, nobody understands how The Twitter really works.

Did you read Susanna Clarke’s Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell yet? It’s excellent! Did you watch the BBC’s Jonathan Strange (no relation to Dr. Stephen Strange) & Mr. Norrell  yet? It’s exactly the kind of lavish & slavish televisual adaptation I dig. It’d be pointless for me to elucidate upon why both media are so wondrous as The Manila Reader’s reviews have already done so. So if you’ve not read & or watched it yet, what are you doing with your life? How else will you find out that authors are THE WORST?

TANTO FIGHT!!!

Happy Day Without Sports, otherwise known as the day after Bastille Day! It’s my favorite holiday so I celebrate it 365 days a year! In honor of this momentous occasion, here’s that painting of a knife fight that I told you about. This is definitely not a sport. Somebody could die!

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Now you can see for yourself that I did a terrible job making it look like X-Men Adventures #6. First of all, there are way too many characters in it. My compositions are getting progressively more crowded. You’ll notice the titular Brother Banenose, the tooth-be-necklaced Fairuza, & the mighty Stephfi. You also get your first looks at Norbert the false pig specialist & the All-Seeing Insect of Doom! Lastly, we have the clothing-deficient [CHARACTER NAME REDACTED BECAUSE IT’S A SPOILER]!

Originally, I had intended to paint an entirely different scene for this chapter. Then I remembered I kind of made a big deal about the tanto fight so I should probably paint that. It also did not require me to paint a ceiling like the alternate scene so it won. My difficult second novel might be set entirely outdoors to completely circumvent the possible necessity of depicting ceilings.

Most books would put such a thrilling scene at the climax, but not mine! This happens in chapter ten, which is roughly the halfway point. So things can only escalate from there! Unless everything is downhill after that. I’ll let you be the judge. But first have a look at the even behind-the-scenesier uninked sketch for the painting that didn’t scan that well:

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If you would like to spread awareness of The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose on The Twitter, please use the hashtag  #BrotherBanenose. You can alternatively use #TheDolorousAdventureOfBrotherBanenose if you a lot of characters leftover that you’d like to use up. If you go for the acronym #TDAOBB, nobody will know what you’re typing about.

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Oversize Scanners Are Dead! Long Live Oversize Scanners!

After weeks of merely telling you The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose will be published by Booktrope, I now have something to show for it. Feast your eyes on the brand new painting I made for its cover:

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