Does Avengers: Infinity War Bore?

Last time I did a collaboreview with The Wages of Cinema, it was just Jack & I on Pacific Rim: Uprising. This time we’ve got the whole kooky quartet back together! Forsooth this is the most ambitious crossover event in history! Alas, they can’t all be odes to dirigible crime! Infinite Spoilers for Avengers: Infinity War would be a lie because I eventually run out of them. I did throw in some for Agents of SHIELD because everything is tenuously connected.

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Black Panther Dethrones Toy Fair

I went to Wakanda with The Wages of Cinema to visit Black Panther! My kitty’s mad I saw it without her. This I know from speaking the universal language of Espurranto. (I should start calling her Snuggletooth.) Let’s dive right off Warrior Falls into SPOILERS. If you’ve not seen it yet, skip even further down to the tilde for Toy Fair 2018 SPOILERS!

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Triple Toy Threat!

This week, I was invited to two advance movie screenings. One starred Scarlet Witch, Shadow King, & Mantis. The other starred Scarlet Witch, Hawkeye, & Punisher. So I went to the first. Not only did I enjoy it very much, it’s tangentially in the nerdy wheelhouse. Unfortunately I’m not supposed to tell you about it because of a stupid NDA which prevents me from building advance buzz for the movie without being subject to legal action.  Unless the point of that clause is reverse psychology. Even with the astronomical odds of the studio reading my blog, I’ll err on the side of paranoia & talk toys today.

The Bradford Exchange of Canada is producing a talking 12″ Justin Trudeau doll! Several articles are reporting that this is a bizarre product, seemingly oblivious to the fact that replicas of prominent political leaders are quite common in the high end 1/6 scale doll world. What’s actually bizarre is that the Bradford Exchange & its international affiliate websites refuse to sell this Prime Minister effigy outside of Canada!

Speaking of dreamy world leaders, here’s T’Challa!

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Includes authentic Wakandan jungle diorama!

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Agents of SHIELD’s Tepid Third Finale Killed The Right Characters

Last week someone found this blog just by searching “awesome.” Moving on …

Season one of Agents of SHIELD was lousy television. Then season two surprised me by being addictively entertaining. The third season turned out to be a hybrid of the two by being thoroughly average. Losing Kyle MacLachlan, Ruth Negga, Dichen Lachman, Lucy Lawless, & Edward James Olmos was a harsh blow.

Somehow they made HYDRA even more perfunctory & flavorless even with Powers Boothe in charge. The only thing it had going for it was Mr. Giyera a.k.a. Magnoto. Whitehall telling the Malicks that their family branch of HYDRA is dumb immediately after their dad’s funeral was the most I’ve ever liked him. Every time I think they can’t make defeating HYDRA more anticlimactic, they underwhelm me.

What’s worse is that the big Inhumans gamechanger set up last year fails to take off spectacularly because the rest of the MCU won’t acknowledge the brave new status quo.

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Captain America: Civil War Is A Good Batman V. Superman Remake

This spoilerific review of Iron Man v. Captain America: Dawn of Vengeance Captain America: Civil War begins with a personal anecdote. After we left the cinema, I had to run down an escalator to catch a Metro arriving in under a minute. I was in time to block the sensors to allow two of my party on, but the last was still too far away when the automatic doors began to shut. So I quickly pushed apart the closing doors with all my might rather than abandoning her. No woman left behind! I was wearing an Iron Man t-shirt, so it was reminiscent of the scene where he pushes a set of heavy duty doors apart. This was only the second time I’ve instinctively performed this heroic feat. We now return to your regularly scheduled film critique.

You used to need to wait decades between movie remakes, but the Hollywood nostalgia machine has been exponentially speeding up this process. It’s only been a couple of months, but Marvel has already remade Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice! Alright, it’s more like an Armageddon/Deep Impact situation. But if you’ve seen BvS:DoJ, then you’ve basically seen IMvCA:DoV. This is the superior iteration, but it’s still an infuriatingly flawed premise.

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