The Toy Fair’s Not Back In Town

Action figures are good, but they can be better! All you have to do is become a customizer! Toys are like drugs except you need to find a place to keep them after the high wears off.

NY Toy Fair has been cancelled for 2021. In lieu of the big press show, many companies are doing smaller virtual conventions through the year. The most hyped was last week’s Hasbro Pulse Fest Fan Fest. Rather than spacing things out, Mattel, Diamond Select, & NECA decided to post similar events around the same time with less fanfare. They were all underwhelming to various degrees. I would’ve made more impulse pre-orders had Hasbro not suddenly jacked up the price of all their 6″ lines by $3. It doesn’t sound that steep on an individual basis, but it adds up when they encourage you to buy entire series of Marvel Legends to complete BAFs. With customers’ budgets already stretched thin by the terrible 2020, this feels like a precarious time to raise prices on non-essentials.


“Ach, I’m not some nouveau riche piker! I employ people to burn my money for me!”

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I’m Out Of Print!

The first edition of The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose is now officially out of print. (It joins my monograph, Generation Mixtape: A User’s Guide to Online Copyright, in the realm of discontinuance.) Thank you very much to everybody that purchased one. You now own a limited edition collector’s item.

I was told by Booktrope that its titles would be down as of June 1, but the discontinuance for its catalog was a rolling process. My book was gone a little early, with the paperback edition being the last to vanish. I hope nobody was procrastinating until the very last day. If you missed out, there are a few on eBay. I’ve also squirreled away a few copies. (Let me know below if you’d like me to part with them & we’ll work something out.)

Site upgrades are probably not happening soon. I spent a lot of money on ads, & the book wasn’t in print long enough for me to see a return on my investment. I’m also trying to buy out the royalty shares for my team members so that it won’t be an accounting encumbrance going forward as I search for a new publisher. Since I doubt I’ve actually made any profit off  The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose thus far, I think my remaining funds will be better applied towards cat food. I don’t want to charge what scant readers I do have just to get the clunky “.wordpress” out of the URL, nor do I want the site to fold because I can’t afford domain hosting in perpetuity. So the site will continue to look cheap & unprofessional to reflect its wastrel author.

When Booktrope published The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose, I was very ecstatic to finally have left a legacy. With Booktrope being a print-on-demand & ebook publisher, I never considered it going out out of print to be a possibility. Now I feel like I’ve won the endless war over who kills the last koala bear & who in death with love will love him more. Spoiler alert: It’s me because the last koala is a metaphor!

Now I begin querying publishers to get The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose back in print or take a go at self-publishing it through CreateSpace.  Even if this is as far as my literary career goes, at least I’ll take solace in being a one hit wonder. Oh wait, that requires me to have had a hit. I guess I have to get back to writing my difficult second novel then!

Rest in peace, Booktrope.

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Buy Brother Banenose Now Because Booktrope Is Bust!

It seems like whenever I plan to take a short holiday from this blog, I end up having perfect weekly attendance anyway. I actually had travel plans, so I felt confident in my latest responsibility shirking announcement this time. Then on Friday night, I received a notification from Booktrope that it’s shutting down at the end of May. So Mercury Retrograde can take a flying leap onto a barbwire dildo!

What this means is that May 31, 2016, will be your final opportunity acquire THE DOLOROUS ADVENTURE OF BROTHER BANENOSE! Without a publisher, the eBooks & paperbacks will go out of production. So if you’ve been procrastinating on trading in a tiny fraction of your income for a copy, now’s the time. If you’ve already got one, please post some reviews online so others find out that it’s a quality book that exists (especially if they’re in the entertainment business). With only a month to go, I’m really counting on all of you out there to spread the news for one last hurrah. Thank you all very much for your continued support of my creative endeavors.

When you buy The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose (in bulk to give away away or stockpile for the forthcoming mutant Apocalypse) you’re not just supporting one starving artist. Royalties also go to my talented team-members: Majanka Verstraete, Martin Jones, & Ashley Ruggirello. This book would’ve have happened without them. My proceeds will also support this furry widdle monstress:


It took four treats just to bribe her for one endorsement photo!

It’s a huge bummer that Booktrope is shutting down. It feels like a repeat of what befell Topless Robot.  (I’m still looking for replacement writing opportunities, in case you have any leads on professional gigs.) I was very fortunate that Booktrope published my book before going belly-up. There were many other books in the works that weren’t so lucky. My paranoia about that chronicled in my novel’s Appendix may have jinxed things for them. OOPS. The shutdown is affecting all the other Booktrope authors too, so take a look at their wares as well before it’s too late. I apologize for not making the blockbuster bestseller that would’ve saved the entire company.

So as not to completely depress us, here’s some things that may result from this calamity. I was trying to arrange some live readings, but it’s going to be awkward promoting an out of print book. Booktrope is going to release the book’s rights back to me in June. This means I can search for a new publisher for my book. This may take quite a long time to sort out, so don’t get your hopes up yet. Even if I do get a new edition of The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose released, it’ll be different from the one which is now a limited time offer. At the very least, it won’t bear the Booktrope logo. So the first editions will definitely become collector’s items! Get aboard this rare folio train before it leaves the station of affordability! I’ll also try to make that audiobook edition happen for your awaiting ears.

I want to thank Booktrope very much for making my long festering dreams of becoming a professionally published author & illustrator come true. I’m just sad our relationship ended so abruptly. After figuring out the learning curve, I was looking forward to producing more books with their hybrid platform. I hope everybody involved is able to bounce back from this tragedy.

As for me, I still intend to keep this blog running. I will keep you posted on the quest for a new publisher, so make sure you’re following me on all the platforms linked to the heart icon. Updates on my second novel will also trickle in. Come back next week for me to answer what Captain America: Civil War is good for. If this May really is The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose’s final month,  however, I hope you can help make it one for the record books.

Eventually This Will Have A Title

Rachel Skarsten responded to me nominating her for Stephfi the Marauderatrix in a The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose adaptation!

Tamsin the Valkyrie didn’t say she wouldn’t buff up to be in an adaptation of my obscure novel that hasn’t be greenlit yet, so this is going in the win column. Annet Mahendru liked my tweet about her playing Fairuza as well! Strike now while the iron is hot, TV & film producers!

You have a week to pay what thou will for twenty-four books with Booktrope Sci-fi & Thriller Humble Bundle!  You’ll be supporting charities (Freedom of the Press Foundation & Prevent Cancer Foundation) & getting $120 worth of wonderful indie eBooks at a great bargain of your choosing!

I still haven’t seen Jessica Jones or Daredevil season 2 yet, but I am caught up on Agents of SHIELD. Yay? So Simmons will make a Terrigensis-vaccine from Absorbing Man’s (actor Brian Patrick Wade’s real life wife, bodybuilder Jill Wade, should guest star as Titania to blur the divide with fiction) blood just to shut up people like me asking why Bucky is more important than an Inhuman population boom in Iron Man v. Captain America: Dawn of Vengeance Comics Alliance has already done the work for me of explaining why Coulson isn’t a good spy & Lincoln is possibly worse than Ward. (The Inhuman wearing Ward’s face moved up in the ranks slightly since getting a goop sacrifice scene.)


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Happy 1st Birthday To My Blog!

Happy Birthday to Matt the Catania! You’re a whole year old & I still can’t decide if your ‘the’ is uppercase or not. I can’t believe I’ve been doing this for fifty-two consecutive weeks either! After last week, I expected I’d be slain by Supergirl loyalists before the big day. (Yes, I’ll discuss some DC & Marvel movies if you keep scrolling.)

To commemorate this historic occasion, the Kindle edition of The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose is on sale for $0.99 through Sunday! If you prefer paperbacks, you can also get the physical edition for below cover price from Barnes & Noble or Amazon!


So tell all your pals to get in on this limited time deal while the getting’s good! (Unless you’d prefer the schadenfreude of convincing your friends to buy it after the price reverts back to its regular $4.99 bargain.) Always remember to leave a good review after you’ve read it on its sale pages & Goodreads. Reviews, ratings, & word of mouth are the best ways you can help indie authors like myself without buying a metric ton of our books. Thank you all very much for your patronage & enjoy your book!

In less than a year, I’ve gone from having no product of my own to having my very own professionally published & self-illustrated novel to solicit. I don’t believe I’ve ever shown the back cover of my book here so let’s rectify that right now:

Banenose back

Belatedly behold the back cover of Brother Banenose!

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Live Every Week Like It’s King Shark Week!

It is with much sadness that I inform you that Umberto Eco has died. He was the king of spinning complex tales out of esoteric trivia. The Name of the Rose was a major inspiration for The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose. I regret that I was unable to gift him with a signed copy. Foucault’s Pendelum & The Mysterious Flame of Queen Loana also come highly recommended from me to you. Umberto Eco will live on in his books.

“Until then I had thought each book spoke of the things, human or divine, that lie outside books. now I realized that not infrequently books speak of books: it is as if they spoke among themselves. In the light of this reflection, the library seemed all the more disturbing to me. It was then the place of a long, centuries-old murmuring, an imperceptible dialogue between one parchment and another, a living thing, a receptacle of powers not to be ruled by a human mind, a treasure of secrets emanated by many minds, surviving the death of those who had produced them or had been their conveyors.”


Classified dossier stolen from Mission: Authors Talk About It.

Listen to my interview with Mission: Authors Talk About It:

I’d previously spoken with Drs. Rob & Janelle Alex for their other podcast, Mission: Date Night, but this is a brand new interview with different insights into the book. For instance, we discuss the naming of things!

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Rise Of War Witch’s Review!

Thanks to everyone who still came back after last week’s existential cry for help. (Bonus thanks to Venusian breaker of things, Dominique Tipper!) This week, we have the elusive blog post on a single subject (minus this introduction). I’ve been told focused articles with some underlying narrative are more intriguing to readers, but who knows? So I apologize if you came here for a smorgasbord of apophenia. More fractured writing should resume shortly, so bookmark this blog in case it becomes relevant to your interests. We’ll be doing more Deadpool soon, & Toy Fair is bound to incite me to rambling. Oh, I’ll eventually throw  in something related to my rookie author career. There will definitely be another podcast interview by month’s end. Maybe I’ll finally get around to writing those long promised behind-the-scenes character profiles for the inhabitants of The Dolorous Adventure Of Brother Banenose? Nah, I’ll probably get distracted by whatever’s great or irritating on TV again. That’s the way to sell books, right? Really slow weeks will feature cat pictures. Luckily I’ve been stockpiling those. If you have any suggestions for upcoming blog topics you’d like to read, let me know.

So this week’s very special topic is a review of Rise: Book One Of The War Witch Saga by Cain S. Latrani. And you thought my book had a cumbersome title!


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TV Looks Just Like A Window

The “shameless self promotion” tag gets a lot of use around these parts. I have to pimp my own wares each post (making the tag slightly superfluous) because I’m nowhere near to being a bestselling household name. What you may not realize is that I consider myself an antisocial introvert. For Christmas, my sister gave me The Art of Asking by Amanda Palmer.  I took the doughnuts & read it. (Or did I take the flower, as I gave her a Totoro sweater in exchange?) It’s an intriguing autobiography, especially if you dig her music & are in a creative field.

After reading her book, I now feel less awkward about asking for your much appreciated support. If you’ve already read The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose, I need you to rate & review it on Amazon, GoodReads (vote it into Listopia too), Barnes & Noble, & anywhere else. Recommend it to your pals directly! Even sharing these blog posts on social media is a boon. Booktrope’s marketing budget for this tome has already been exhausted, so I am dependent upon positive word of mouth for visibility. We may not know each other very well yet, but my career is in your hands. Any readership you can direct my way whilst I’m looking for new freelancing opportunities (hit me up with tips & commissions, please) & working on the next project will be most helpful. You’ll not only be supporting me but all of the team members that made my debut novel happen. Thank you very much in advance.

Now who wants to hear about television imitating my life most suspiciously? GET OUT OF MY HEAD, TV!

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It’ll Be The Future Soon

 My book has made its way into at least one public library thus far! That’s kind of like a reverse heist!


You can now borrow it directly from the Sparta Public Library or via inter-library loan if you reside in a compatible NJ library district. If you don’t live in the Newest Jersey but want to read the paperback for free, request your library to add it to its own collection. That’s what librarians are there for! The power is yours!


Speaking of Booktrope titles, War Witch: Rise by Cain S. Latrani is now available to purchase! I have it on dubious authority that it pairs well with The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose.

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The Game Is Afoot?

“The more that I read I think that the story would make a good video game, with all of its levels!” says my Grandma. I don’t own a video game playing machine, but this sounds about right. Any video game developers reading this that’d like a piece of the action before The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose becomes the next big thing?

The Holiday Prefunk promotion has ended, but you can get learn of great ebook deals by signing up for Runaway Goodness’s newsletter. While the sale may be over, it’s never a bad time to buy The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose! It makes the perfect present for Hanukkah, Christmas, Yule, New Year, Groundhog’s Day, Valentine’s Day, birthdays, anniversaries, or whatever winter holidays you celebrate!

Thanks to Robert “Sharky” Pruneda for giving me a cameo on his Thanksgiving blog, which I should’ve linked to in my Thanksgiving blog.