Turtle Talk

Last week was legendary for the blog as I reviewed Shang-Chi & The Legend Of The Ten Rings & Legends Of Tomorrow season six back to back. I’d also written about Marvel Legends X-Men within seven days prior. Now to resume less tightly spaced blogging. This time I’ll talk about those terrible toyetic terrapins, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! So technically this ramble could’ve also been titled “Mutant Musings.” Pick up the metaphorical cheese phone of destiny by reading onward!

The Shredder

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LOT Remains Legendary In Season Six

DC’s Legends Of Tomorrow is becoming an increasingly hard series to review. My main complaint is that’s a bait & switch since it barely adapts anything from DC Comics. LOT also takes the Doctor Who approach to time travel, in that the rules vary wildly in each story. Setting that aside, it’s very entertaining. So I’m just gonna rubber stamp my approval anyway. There’s little to criticize. You should just watch it. Since I went to the bother of putting together all these words in a slightly more timely fashion than my Shang-Chi & The Legend Of The Ten Rings review (It’s a legendary week.), I’ll ask you to gander at the SPOILERS for the rest of season six below. I throw in bonus Black Adam too.

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Mutant Musings

Sometimes I write blogs for spite! I’m not sure if my faith in humanity should be restored by the minimal views. Now we’re back to one of my rambling blogs that aren’t tied in to recent media events. The topic is X-Men (Remind me to do an annual cat post.), handily divided into toys, film/TV, & comic books.

X-Women

This is how the youths comport themselves in music halls nowadays.

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TV Stuff & Preemptive Powerpuff

Greetings! Long time, no blog. I have some exciting news! It’s mostly just exciting to me right now, so I’ve attached it after some more broadly appealing TV tidbits. I’m even gonna rant about Powerpuff instead of waiting for it to air!

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How Bungled Is Batwoman Season 2?

Although it was off to a tentatively good start, Batwoman season two is on track to be as bad as Arrow season 6. Every time I think I’m ready to blog about how aggravating it’s been this season, they release more episodes. I suppose I might as well publish it now to keep the season finale review shorter. If you enjoy SPOILER complaints, this blog’s for you!

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The Sensational 300th Blog Of She-Hulk!

This headline is sort of misleading. I have not written three-hundred blogs about Jennifer Walters the sensational She-Hulk. This is merely my three-hundredth blog on Matt The Catania, whose topic happens to be She-Hulk. I figured I should try a different topic than the best cat in the world for once. It was not my intention to draw attention away from other blogs that have legitimutantly written 300 entries on Shulkie. I apologize for the confusion. This is also an anniversary number (We survived #299!) which doesn’t coincide with an anniversary for the blog.

Hunker down for some wild thoughts on Disney+’s She-Hulk TV series. It’s still kind of timely. Can you believe Marvel & DC almost swapped She-Hulk & Martian Manhunter? Now they’ll both be live action television stars in defiance of David Goyer! All the anxiety I once had over whether Wonder Woman would suck has since been transferred to She-Hulk!

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The New Mutants Finally Escaped Limbo!

The New Mutants was originally going to be released on April 13, 2018. It’s been delayed four times! Postponing this movie is the key part of a spell to cancel the Apocalypse. I guess we’re screwed now.

This being a costume-free teen-horror did not excite me, but recent unveilings of Magik & the Demon Bear made me question if it might actually be worthwhile. I was planning on seeing it at matinee prices even before all the creative drama unspooled, which make me question whether that’s too too high a cost. Except Newest Jersey hadn’t reopened its theaters the week before its release like most states. Unfortunately I still feel compelled to witness this trainwreck. At least it should be easier to dodge online spoilers? (If you’re not interested in a preamble about difficulties in viewing this film, skip past the jump.)

The crux of the problem appears to be people risking infection when they remove their masks for refreshments. (I’ve worn my mask & latex gloves indoors for multiple hours & don’t partake of movie snacks, so this felt like a risk I could manage. I’d much prefer to risk my life for Wonder Woman 1984 or Black Widow though. Maybe I should’ve applied this effort to Bill & Ted Face the Music instead?) It seems the easy solution would be to keep theater concessions closed during this period so there would be less temptation for guests to remove their masks. Of course this wouldn’t prevent patrons from sneaking in their own snacks or ensure they won’t remove their masks in theater anyway, but it’d help. Naturally theaters want to keep concessions open since that’s how they make profit, but it’s not helping their cases in states where indoor theaters are still barred from reopening. The “we’d rather make no money than less money” stance is baffling since they’ve already lost months of revenue.

Disney wouldn’t even provide screeners to paid reviewers! While it would’ve been the more hygienic move, I’m somewhat glad contractual obligations precluded Disney from dumping this on Hulu or Disney+. (If they’re going to upsell the Mulan reboot for an additional $30, purchasers should get a physical copy too. Doubly so since it’ll be free to subscribers patient enough to wait three more months.) Not only do I not want additional streaming subscriptions, $30 is too much for an X-movie I doubt I’ll be viewing more than once.

Additional effort of interstate commerce was almost required. I haven’t been to a drive-in movie since Kull The Conqueror & Excess Baggage! That was the night Princess Di died & our cat, Domino, gave birth to a litter of stillborns. ‘Twas an ill-starred evening. The nearest NY drive-in’s ticket policy feels like a scam.”If no proper spots are available at showtime, sadly, you will forfeit your parking spot and admission tickets prepaid online.” Luckily the NJ theaters reopened right before I committed to driving across the border. Due to short notice, most local cinemas didn’t have time to reopen punctually. Our theater felt like it took the responsible safety precautions too. So this marks my first collaboreview with The Wages of Cinema since Harley Quinn & Birds Of Prey!

Just like the comic book is based on, it has a generic title that is already outdated. Now without further ado, the SPOILERS have been released from Limbo below! We finally have closure for Fox’s X-movies! Since I waited this long to see it, it didn’t skimp on the verbiage.

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The Official Kitty Blog Of 2020

After recapping two titanic televisual finales back-to-back, I took a longer than usual break to recharge from burnout. I finally changed the sharing call to action at the bottom of my posts so it’s no longer insensitive during this era. It took me way too long to figure out where that editing option was. A labor-intensive top secret custom has also been occupying my attention.  I could’ve written something about DC Fandome but it would’ve basically just said it had some nice trailers. Now I have compiled content worth regurgitating for you!

You might think I’d already done my yearly feline blog. That was about the global phenomenon Cats. (Now that she’s become a YouTubist, will Brie Larson finally share her thoughts on it?) This is about cats. If you’ve read prior installments, you’ll know these are a mix of personal anecdotes & random cat links with minimal organization.

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Quarantined Cold Takes

I was kind of looking forward to finally seeing The New Mutants this weekend….  Now would be an opportunity to get back to writing my second novel, but the crisis has put a damper on my enthusiasm that. So I continue to squander my time. “FAILED NOVELIST” should be inscribed on my tombstone. I have a newfound respect for sequels now that I realized I otherwise have to do characterization & worldbuilding from scratch. After a really crummy run of things, however, my ex-Booktrope buddy Cain S. Latrani has a new novel published, Wonder Land: Black Ice. It even has a t-shirt!

I already freelance from home, so weirdly self-quarantine doesn’t feel much different to me than most people. This is probably to my benefit, but I still have great existential dread about the pestilence & a new fear of going to the grocery store. (Delivery is booked solid where I live.) Like many self-isolating, I’ve been watching copious amounts of television at home. I was already doing that, so it doesn’t feel like a treat or respite. Now they’re saying this behavior is “heroic,” but where was this encouragement before the pandemic? We may be cursed to live in interesting times, yet my life continues to be uninteresting to describe. I blog, therefore I am not.

So here’s a random smattering of television I’ve been watching. Get your cold takes! Maybe I ought to have saved some of these short reviews for later?

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Tubi Or Not Tubi?

Preacher’s swansong isn’t airing until this Sunday, so I can’t post my season four review yet. The CW’s season premieres are even further away. So this one’s going to be another free choice esoteric installment. (Aren’t they all?)

I’ve been remiss in my Netflix viewing lately. There’s a bunch of original series I’d like to check out like The Dark Crystal prequel, but i don’t feel a though there’s a rush. Almost every time a try to view a specific unaffiliated movie, however, Netflix doesn’t offer it. Its selection is dwindling.

This is what lead me to fall into a Tubi rabbit hole. It’s a free streaming site with a more eclectic range of titles. They’ll intermittently toss in a short ad, but it’s negligible. (It may seem a bit desperate if you get a few in a row extolling its own virtues.) This post is going to read like free advertising for Tubi. I would also be amenable to being paid to write nice things about your site, Tubi! I’ve been trying to watch as much stuff as possible since I’m paranoid this is too good to last. So without further ado, here’s some of what I’ve perused. (Batman & Star Wars tidbits follow afterwards.) I shall endeavor to concise & low on spoilers. Add a “spoiler text” option, WordPress!

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