Does WandaVision Deserve Derision?

D+ means Disney used to have a higher average before absorbing Fox. Wand Division is the new math. WandaVision was supposed to be bumped it forward to 2020 to make a perfect 20/20 vision joke. Although it completed filming before the pandemic production pauses, unlike Falcon & Winter Soldier, it then got pushed back to its original 2021 slot so it wouldn’t compete with The Mandalorian’s second season. Viewers are supposed to be excited for bona fide Marvel Cinematic Universe characters appearing on a televison show instead of a movie, as if Phil Coulson, Peggy Carter, Nick Fury, Maria Hill, Sif, Jasper Sitwell, Edwin Jarvis, Gideon Malick, Dr. List, & the Howling Commandos didn’t already on Agents of SHIELD & Peggy Carter. Remember when SHIELD premiered & people were mad they’d have to watch one series on free network television to fully understand the Marvel movies they paid for? Now that there’s a bunch of more directly influential series that behind a subscription service paywall, fans are excited?

Marvel Studios’ movies are sometimes described as television in cinemas since they link to form a larger story. This time it could argued that MCU’s lucky thirteenth television series is a long movie split into weekly installments. (So are these Disney+ Marvel series going to be event series? I don’t feel like making new tags for them if they’re each one & done. So this’ll just get the standard “Avengers” & like it. If renewed, we can consider making unique tags.) SPOILER warning for nine episodes of the most popular television series of the moment. You really deserve a prize if you’d made it unspoiled this far.

WandaVision Wanda Maximoff defies her name by being a witch who doesn’t wield a wand. Her Zatanna cosplay was actually scarlet. Continue reading

It’s The Most Marvelous Time Of The Year!

After last week’s commissioned deep dive into Stormfront the proverbial milkshake duck, I figured it’s time to clear out some of the Marvel content cluttering my drafts. I won’t be finished editing my X Of Swords review until nobody cares, so this is light on X-Men content. It does have a surfeit of pre-Christmas action figure photos if that’s your bag. (I will regret this if Santa only delivers coal this year.) After the MCU news musings not involving She-Hulk, my comic book thoughts are separated by superfluous tildes!

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“Now I have The Phoenix Force! Ho ho ho!”

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The Spoilery Summation Of Stargirl’s Season!

DC Universe’s Stargirl series is not to be confused with Disney+’s Stargirl movie. Now it’s also The CW’s Stargirl. Since television is drying up, why aren’t you watching it? We’ll soon be out of bread & circuses!

The first trailer made the show look cheap in a bad Smallville way. The actual production values, however, are higher than Beeboverse shows. I also got the impression that it would be a lighter series intended for younger audiences, but it gets plenty dark. Kids love stories that don’t talk down to them more than adults may believe, so it could still be a youngling favorite. This series is a rarity for superhero shows this year for its lack of time travel. Lengthy SPOILERS for ethics in teen superheroism below!

Sportsmaster Stargirl

You need to tag in Casey Jones to vanquish a fellow master of sports!

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Legends Of Tomorrow In The Time Of Coronavirus

Well that escalated quickly! Isn’t this how The Last Last Man On Earth began? The one with Kristen Schaal not Vincent Price, although a vampire virus would be much cooler. (Everybody go read I Am Legend by Richard Matheson! Novel coronavirus is spread through literacy.) I am sadly very highly trained in social distancing. Panic buying groceries was less terrible than expected, but I forgot to buy Worcestershire sauce even though it was on my list!

In times of crisis, people especially need escapism. I’m usually bad at scheduling blog topics, but I get a jump on writing about the year’s blockbusters. Never mind! They’re all getting postponed! Delaying The New Mutants is the key part of a spell to cancel The Apocalypse. When the global quarantine is lifted, cinemas are going to be backed up with leftovers. At least there’s plenty of television left to keep us from going stir crazy. Oh wait, production on all the network series shut down before they could get their season finales in the bag! Well Black Lightning featuring Grunkle Gravedigger & (Green) Arrow wrapped up, but most will leave viewers hanging. If ABC could air the completed¬† final season of Agents of SHIELD early, that’d be lovely. All the media that’s been delayed should just be chucked in a bonfire. So go binge Lodge 49 on Hulu!

Unlike venues you enjoy visiting, Matt The Catania intends to stay open during this crisis. Sorry! Weekly coverage will probably revert to esoteric mishmashes with headlines that aren’t SEO friendly. Maybe I’ll finally get back to writing my second novel? (I wrote a key scene set in the basement of a library without checking if the real location has one. The uncertainty was contributing to my writer’s block. Then I found it does. Phew!) With luck, we’ll all be alive when this epidemic fizzles out as its curve flattens.

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It’s A Marvel Jubilee!

Marvel prominently celebrated it eightieth anniversary last year. I recall when Marvel only marked milestones counting back to 1961’s Fantastic Four #1 (with the pre-Marvel debut of Captain America being an asterisk). It seems when DC Comics was celebrating its eightieth anniversary of Batman, Marvel suddenly decided to start counting birthdays back to its Golden Age progenitors, Timely Publications & Atlas Comics. Is this revisionist history correcting an oversight or just a company refusing to let its top competitor have any promotional advantage? You decide, True Believers!

So what does this have to do with this week’s article meat? I just wanted a tangential segue to show off my Jubilee action figure. There’s also a new miscellany of unrelated Marvel musings. Let’s begin with the mootest points. Excelsior!

Jubilee

Once I start writing X-Men, Jubes is officially stealing this catchphrase.

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Catalogue Of Contextless Cats?

I’m disrupting your antiquated paradigm of paragraphs this week! It’s just going to be a string of loosely connected sentences about my pretty kitty & miscellaneous mousers that I couldn’t slip into earlier posts! (I specifically didn’t watch Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance or Carnival Row in preparation.) So it’s kind of like one of those articles collating reaction tweets except I didn’t get paid to generate my own.

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Cat On Comics

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SDCC Turned Fifty?

HUZAH! It’s the fiftieth anniversary of San Diego Comic Convention! I didn’t attend, thanks for asking. (I took last week off anyway after reviewing Stranger Things 3.) Did you? Here is my armchair event coverage (loosely arranged by DC, Marvel, & miscellaneous mess) that’s rapidly losing topicality! Wait, shouldn’t it be celebrating it golden anniversary next year?

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She-Ra Season 2 Got Shorted!

Captain Marvel + SHAZAM! = She-Ra! Season two of She-Ra & The Princesses of Power was released at the same time as Avengers: Endgame. (I have an addendum to my review at the end.) Let’s see if that works any better for it than the end of Gotham.

Like Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (Worse idea: putting a working fireplace in a high school library or a diner in a comic book shop?), seasons one & two were made back to back. (That’s more common in the animation industry.) This second batch also has fewer episodes. (There are even more in production, but it’s unclear if they’ll be season 3 or 2.5.) Appropriately for Catradora, they were released on Lesbian Visibility Day.

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If cats rub their scent on all their property, how do they ever find anything?

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How Lame Is Avengers: Endgame?

Now that Gotham is gone (sniff), I guess we’re in the Avengers: Endgame now. (It’s pronounced End-gah-may much like SHAZAM! rhymes with chasm.) I was not impressed by Avengers: Infinity War, so I went into its continuation with disgruntled resignation. Even though I wasn’t excited for the movie, I didn’t want want little enjoyment I might have sapped by spoilers.

This is like a Dagwood sandwich of Marvel Studios movies. Having five mini-films compressed together justifies its three hour length. (Despite the mass hysteria, my bladder made it all way through even as I ate an Alamo Drafthouse dinner.) The pacing glides by. The Russo brothers hold everything together despite ever-shifting tones. Their ability to juggle dozens of characters remains impeccable.

Here comes another SPOILERY collaboreview with The Wages of Cinema! The marketing for this movie shrewd enough to reveal so little that talking about practically anything is a spoiler. So you have nobody to blame but yourself if you keep reading/listening without having seen it. (There’s plenty to critique, so who knows whether anything is presented in coherent order.) Since it made $1.2 billion worldwide in its opening weekend, however, I wager you’ve already been inoculated.

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Hellboy Held Up, Avengers Eventually

Last week floated the question of whether I’d be reviewing the Hellboy reboot this week. The answer is … no. Sorry, everybody eagerly awaiting my review!

I both do & don’t want to see it. I really wanted Hellboy 3 by Guillermo del Toro starring Ron Perlman! Mike Mignola’s stark minimalism was almost diametrically opposed to del Toro’s lush maximalism but it worked! (I’ve heard gossip that Mignola being displeased with the movies diverging so much from the comics was a factor in nixing the third one.) I would’ve been fine seeing this one providing the trilogy had finished, but it didn’t. The monsters in the trailers (where Hellboy says he’s a Capricorn despite being a Libra in the comics) look nifty, but both general reviewers & Hellboy fans say it’s not good. I kind of feel bad skipping it since I’ll probably end up seeing the much worse looking Dark Phoenix in theaters. The original was released in April too, but I still think October would be a better fit (especially with all the competition this month). I was thinking about seeing it at a matinee, but the timing hasn’t worked out yet. Maybe I’ll get to it once it’s completely irrelevant?

So this almost late installment will mostly be about tangential Avengers tidbits that would’ve made my forthcoming review of the next movie even more long-winded.

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