The Legitimutant X-Men Blog

This mutie miscellany was excised from my Marvel Comics Halloween post. It’s getting harder to title these in any meaningful way. This time I added one of the neologisms I coined, legitimutant. It refers to something that is actually a mutation such as the above standard number of toes on my cat. D-Cat is a legitimutant polydactyl with the power of ensnugglement. It can also be more broadly used to describe things that are genuinely out of the ordinary as opposed to hoaxes. For instance, Riverdale season six is legitimutant because supernatural forces were objectively involved throughout. Riverdale season four is ill-legitimutant because Cheryl’s other dead brother’s ghost was not possessing a doll. (Stop reporting this as otherwise to gullible readers & closing comments so it can’t be corrected, other news outlets!) Her mother was just gaslighting her by ripping off The Boy. Whether Cheryl literally gave Archie’s dad the kiss of life in the season two debut is a gray area. Regardless, Cheryl Blossom is an Omega level mutant.

Oh, yeah! This was supposed to be about X-Men. This contains backlogged rambling on the comics, others’ repackaged jokes about comics canon, commentary on existing Fox films but not much speculation about the MCU, toon talk, rants about toys, & action figure photography. None of this is necessarily in order because organization is hard, & there may be SPOILERS depending on what you’ve already been exposed to.

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Witness the secret origin of how Polaris made her second X-Factor costume!

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Marvelous Hellfire Halloween!

It’s Samhain Season again! That’s another excuse for me to unload more outdated Marvel Comics ephemera. This is distinct from Marvel Cinematic Universe ephemera. (Watch Werewolf By Night again!) Toy talk has been sequestered to the end for your convenience. I’ve also removed the muties so they can get their own post soonish. The DC Comics equivalent could probably fill out more.

GhostRider pumpkin

Its flickering candle makes a groovy strobe effect.

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Should You Bet On Black Adam?

I liked Captain Marvel SHAZAM! more than I expected, but I’m not sure if Black Adam needed a whole movie for himself. (It’s a bummer that SHAZAM! Fury Of The Gods got delayed until next year, but at least it should be coming out.) The supervillain has gotten more nuance since he became a fixture in Justice Society Of America comics, but they also amped up him being a brutal Middle Eastern dictator. Doing movies about him mass murdering is more in character makes more sense than Superman or Batman, but I’m not eager for WB to get stuck in this rut. If the movie is a hit, I worry we’ll be back to a glut of grimdark DC movies. If it bombs, I worry WB won’t attempt adapting any characters riskier than Batman. I’d like to see the Justice Society get more mainstream attention, but I don’t want them being upstaged just to show how badass Black Adam is.

Complicating matters is mess that Warner Brothers Discovery has quickly become. Even though this movie was made pre-David Zaslav trying to ruin the company from within, the current leadership will take credit if it’s successful. (Walter Hamada furiously quit as President Of DC-Based Film Production upon Zaslav unilaterally shelving Batgirl.) Some Twitter randos said it was right to cancel Batgirl because she’s an obscure character nobody cares about, implying Black Adam wasn’t cancelled because he’s much more popular. Seriously? For a movie claiming to open on Friday, it sure had a full day of Thursday screenings. Lightning strike “continue reading” if you want to get to SPOILERS. DC League Of Super-Pets spoilers are a bonus.

BlackAdam

This is more of a misdirect than a spoiler. SHAZADAM is a snappier name, regardless.

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Stargirl’s Three Thousand Years Of Longing

The headline was originally going to be “Three Thousand Years Of Longing For Stargirl,” but it sounded a tad too skeevy. I doubt anybody’s been that horny for Stargirl for so long anyway. I’m glad its third season is now here though! Ordinarily I’d wait until the season was over to review it all at once, but those posts might be prohibitively long. Also The CW series I watch that haven’t been massacred aren’t returning this fall, so there’s not going to be as much topic competition this year. I did want to recommend Three Thousand Years Of Longing though since it’s unjustly bombing. Both include a Djinn, so they’ve got more commonality than Riverdale & The Sandman (aside from serial killer conventions). Do you wish for SPOILERS?

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The Sandman & Cheryl Blossom Summer Special!

This week’s topic is The Sandman’s surprise episode & Cheryl Blossom in Riverdale season six. Why? Because there’s no overlap, that’s why! I was so preoccupied with whether or not I could, I didn’t stop to think if I should combine them! I’ve gone mad with limited power! Since virtually nobody else will be writing up the particular combo, it saves me the trouble of writing a less basic headline too. SPOILERS ahead for the combo you never knew you needed!

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A Decade Of D-Cat!

It’s cat bloggin’ time! Recently I celebrated my cat’s tenth birthday. (I waited until after to write this headline & introduction so as not to jinx it with tragedy.) I don’t know if it’s her real birthday, but it’s the one I assigned her in lieu of a birth certificate. It’s also not her tenth anniversary of being the feline in residence. (Until her family pays her ransom, this cat will continue to be my hostage.) Rather than continuously refer to her generically, I will reveal her first name starts with D. This will maintain a level of privacy for her & prevent me from having to commit to one spelling online. Happy decade to the D-Cat!

Unlike the inflatable birthday hat fiasco, this year I went out of my way to purchase her Yeoww! catnip toys from Pet Goods she actually appreciates. The path of least resistance works to placate pussycats! Hopefully they’ll make some catnip fish in new colors because I believe she now has the complete set. She’s quite fond of nip-pineapple. I was able to get plenty of photos of her playing with her new toys, but the lighting wasn’t ideal. So here’s some of her wielding hammers instead!

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“These tools are mine now. I am become a hammerist.”

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CC Returned To SD!

After a two year absence, San Diego Comic Con returned in collective figurative person to San Diego! As a germaphobe on a limited budget, I did not partake of the festivities directly. I enjoyed the virtual panels that I used to be able to stream at home, but they’ve been discontinued. While I couldn’t observe the Gremlins: Secrets Of The Mogwai panel, I’m relived Tze Chun meeting Greta went great. Despite what crazy people on The Twitter insisted, neither Henry Cavill nor Elizabeth Olsen showed up! The amount of Everything Everywhere All At Once cosplay I saw secondhand pleased me.

I was planning on doing one of my non-review blogs after Thor Part IV & Ms. Marvel’s inaugural season, but a heatwave of the non-Mick Rory variety struck. I can work when it’s too hot or too cold. I need a temperature-regulating gimp suit like Scorpius. Then I got hung up obsessing over SDCC tidbits from another timezone. So I realized nobody would bother reading a non-SDCC article from me. I doubt anyone even wants to read an SDCC retrospective from me, but sometimes you have to write a low stakes blog to remind visitors there’ll be better blogs soon. If you share my incredibly narrow interests, this armchair SDCC coverage is the overview for you! It goes action figures, Marvel, & DC. As usual, no actual comic book news will be involved!

Baroness Lashina KGBeast

“Are you here for Dom-Con too?” “No, we’re looking for the American Library Association conference.”

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Doctor Strange 2: Multiverse Boogaloo!

We bid you welcome to The Wages Of Cinema collaboreview for Doctor Strange In The Multiverse Of Madness! Do you need to see WandaVision before Dr. Strange 2? If you don’t have Disney+ like our control group, Andrew, scope out this review first. I’m dropping additional thoughts on the series afterwards anyway.

Is there even a point to this now that Everything Everywhere All At Once exists? Its international titles are on point. I would’ve gone with Dr. Strangemom, Or How I Stopped Worrying & Learned To Love The Multiverse. I’m not going to argue with Jamie Lee Curtis!

Can we live in the altverse where The CW gives Legends Of Tomorrow the final season it deserves? Is this sequel actually about Dr. Strange, or is he merely filler betwixt multiverse cameos? Does DSITMOM distract from thinking about Natalie Portman’s arms in Thor: Love & Thunder? Grab a popcorn cube & prepare for SPOILERS! Don’t even read the tags if you want to be surprised by cameos.

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Whipping Up Lashina

If you wanted a very verbose blog about customizing Lashina & her use within DC Comics, you’ve come to the right place! If not, just look at the pictures. Either way it gives you more fake nerd cred than reading a Thor 4 trailer reaction. The real nerd cred, however, comes from supporting #renewLegendsOfTomorrow until The CW bends to our will! The bastards just cancelled Legends Of Tomorrow the same day we lost Neal Adams & Batwoman? GRODD DAMN THEM! Now back #saveLegendsOfTomorrow & petition HBO Max to give it a proper wrap-up!

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Post-Apocalyptic jump rope has a dress code.

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Stinkor & Scare Glow Star in Waiting For God-Lyn

I can’t believe I’m at this stage in my life where I suddenly have opinions about Masters Of The Universe! Opinions beyond “Saurod was killed off too soon!” That’s making my decision not to make a separate “MOTU” tag even more arbitrary. This’ll be divvied up betwixt Masterverse news, general rambling, & a custom repaint as the new age of wonderment foretold. (It turns out news sites will run articles about anything these days.) My least favorite play is Waiting For God-Lyn (after Our Town, naturally).

Stinkor

Even evil warriors can do their part during a pandemic!

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