Has Everybody Already Seen The Mandalorian?

My magnanimous brother-in-law got me Disney+ to watch The Mandalorian, but instead I used it to watch The One & Only Ivan! It’s the most bittersweet gorilla living with humans movie since Buddy. I always weep at gorilla films. Why won’t Hollywood make more gorilla films that aren’t tearjerkers? Togo has Willem Dafoe & so many handsome puppers! It made me cry too! I further delayed watching the Star Wars show by prioritizing Marvel’s 616 documentary series. I agree with the author of Deadpool Bi-Annual #1 that Brute Force should have its own cartoon & toyline. Even moreso than Stranger Things, the Interwuzzle’s collective inability not to spoil this actually disinclined me to watching it firsthand as soon as possible.

So I eventually got around to watching it. Even later, I got around to editing together my blog review. (This blog takes place prior to WandaVision.) Has everybody else already seen The Mandalorian? If so, you’ll be innoculated from SPOILERS in this cold take. What it lack in thoroughness, it makes up in action figure pics. I’m gonna regret putting them all into one article where they’re germane instead of spacing them out into non-topical blogs!

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Halloween Fire Gourd 2020!

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I carved Swamp Thing into a pumpkin to show my disrespect for The Green! You can tell it’s not a Man-Thing fire gourd because it’s got a wishbone shape on its face instead of a distended M. Fear doesn’t burn at its touch, unlike the existential angst within. It kind of resembles The Creature from The Black Lagoon (“Gillman” if you’re nasty). I have a long history with Jack-O-Lanterns not resembling what I envisioned them as.

In the spirit of Samhain not involving vampires staked with shilleaghs, here is a grab bag of bite-sized horror TV reviews. I also rant against the entities that provided such entertainment. Boo to the trend of diverse shows being cancelled in favor of reboots & spinoffs! Netflix didn’t even release the final chunk of CAOS in time for Halloween! There may be minor spoilers for assorted shows you would’ve watched by now if you really cared.

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The LEGO Batman Movie Is Bat-tastic!

If you think Batman is oversaturated, you’re never going to be proven otherwise at the rate DC milks this cash-cow. Out of the four 2016 movies featuring Batman, Batman: Return of the Caped Crusaders was the best because it didn’t take itself so damn seriously. Thankfully his solo LEGO film follows in that vein. My favorite movie of last year, Deadpool, was released in February. Will history repeat itself with The LEGO Batman movie? Since I struggled to write a review that’s not just “EVERYTHING IS AWESOME!,” I’d recommend betting on black.

Somewhat SPOILERY iterations of what I discussed with The Wages of Cinema to follow. (Do you prefer me speaking extemporaneously on movies or reading me take the extra time to make typos about movies?)

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Title Goes Here?

Unfortunately there’s no exciting The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose news this week. Unless you consider me painting a knife fight exciting. It homages the cover of X-Men Adventures #6 by looking nothing like it. Do you like knife fights in your novels?

I finally saw Mad Max: Fury Road & it rocked my face off. Je suis les yeux sans visage. Avoid this movie if you value your skull skin! I’m renaming my cat Impurrator Furryosa!

We stand on guard for thee! Happy belated Canada Day! This really should’ve gone up yesterday.

My pals at The Wages of Cinema compared me to the late Sir Christopher Lee. I didn’t even need to bribe them!

Considering how amazing his life was, I’m surprised Christopher Lee isn’t more memetic. These are my humble contributions:

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If Star Wars was more realistic, at least half of Darth Vader’s dialogue would be “Did I ever tell you about the time Christopher Lee sliced my arm off?” You’re imagining that in James Earl Jones’s voice right now, aren’t you?

Vote  Gamorrean Guards into the 6″ Star Wars Black Series toy line!

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