Never Have I Ever, Dare Me, I Am Not Okay With This, & Teenage Bounty Hunters were better teen shows than Riverdale seasons 1-4. Sadly 3/4 were prematurely cancelled. Unfortunately Riverdale survived its teen years. This review is going to be even less coherent than season five itself. There’s a video essay purporting it completely gone insane, whereas I maintain it hasn’t gone insane enough. If you’ve come this far, you might as well read rambling SPOILERS for a series most already had the good sense to bail on.
Last week was legendary for the blog as I reviewed Shang-Chi & The Legend Of The Ten Rings & Legends Of Tomorrow season six back to back. I’d also written about Marvel Legends X-Men within seven days prior. Now to resume less tightly spaced blogging. This time I’ll talk about those terrible toyetic terrapins, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! So technically this ramble could’ve also been titled “Mutant Musings.” Pick up the metaphorical cheese phone of destiny by reading onward!
People are freaking out about the trailer for the second third Spider-Man like it’s the second coming of The Snyder Cut. I’m not enthused by No Way Home, but I’ll write about it since that’s what the rabid public wants. By the time I publish this they’ll have moved on to something else. (I’ll be chagrined if it still gets more views than the Superman & Lois season one wrap-up.) Unlike reputable news outlets, punctuality is our #1 dream. That’s okay because I really wanted to talk more about The Suicide Squad. The new memes I’ve made since will surely be stale now too. SPOILERS for that underperforming movie leaving HBO Max soon & a trailer that you’ve probably had shoved in your face even if tried dodging it below! At least this one’s short.
After last week’s commissioned deep dive into Stormfront the proverbial milkshake duck, I figured it’s time to clear out some of the Marvel content cluttering my drafts. I won’t be finished editing my X Of Swords review until nobody cares, so this is light on X-Men content. It does have a surfeit of pre-Christmas action figure photos if that’s your bag. (I will regret this if Santa only delivers coal this year.) After the MCU news musings not involving She-Hulk, my comic book thoughts are separated by superfluous tildes!
Last week was a long Legion season three review, so this installment switches it up with fewer words & more amateur photography. (I was working on a Spidey-rant too, but nobody warned me I had to have it edited so fast for it to be topical.) After I debuted my custom Thea “Speedy” Queen, I noted I should spruce up the MCU Scarlet Witch & Vision set too. So I did. It was super easy! Barely an inconvenience! Come for the customs; stay for the Stilt-Man & Typhoid Mary tangents!
December dawns with the demise of Daredevil! Hot on the heels of the cancellations of Luke Cage & Iron Fist, Netflix destroyed the writers’ room’s dreams of a fourth season. Now I’m extra mad Bullseye didn’t have his own costume & Stilt-Man’s foreshadowing never came to fruition! (Tumblr is probably dying of self-inflicted wounds too, which reassures me that being too lazy to make a Tumblr was a wise move.) So Jessica Jones season three & Punisher season two look to be the end of the line for this hallway-battling venture, unless Netflix mercifully greenlights another season of The Defenders to tie up all the loose ends. Let’s belabor this point whilst awaiting coming attractions for the next Avengers! At least Captain Marvel marketing is punctual.
Much like Gotham’s Azrael, there’s a good costume for Guardians of the Galaxy’s Ronan the Accuser hiding beneath a drab color scheme. His Captain Marvel prequel costume still isn’t green enough! Since I already had the GOTG version, I decided just to give that a full repaint as threatened instead of waiting to see if Hasbro would release a moderately greener one. (I haven’t seen one solicited yet, but it could be offered in a two-pack with Kree colors Carol Danvers.) Photos of the completed custom as well as mini-rants about Venom & Stilt-Man to follow!
I successfully didn’t watch Arrow’s season seven premiere! I did see Daredevil season three. Remember when Netflix used to space these out? Dare you read down into SPOILERS? Please do or I wrote this for nothing.
Two big Marvel releases happened on September 7! I don’t have a PS4, however, so no Spider-Man
: Ravencroft Asylum for me. That leaves me with … RUH-ROH! I ran a poll on The Twitter to decide whether I ought to subject myself to Iron Fist season two, & seventy-one percent of the voters were sadists.
Or are they? I was expecting to despise this based on its pedigree & underwhelming trailer, but it’s actually not bad? This was actually a bit of a disappointment as it forced my to revise the preliminary draft of schadenfreude I’d written. I’d originally planned to just watch the three episodes IMDB told me Alice Eve was in so Netflix will be forced to put the show out of our misery, but then it turned out she’s in the whole shebang. This was a wise move on the series’ part, as she’s a big reason this season succeeds. Step into the sun chamber for SPOILERS!