The CW Shorts Out Black Lightning

After last week’s late DuckTales deep dive, we’ve arrived at the end of Black Lightning. The advertisement logo still looks cooler than the one on the title card. The CW continued to do as little promotion for its final season as possible, unlike Supergirl. It’s hyped up the mid-season return of Superman & Lois much more than this series finale. It took until the penultimate episode to get a next episode promo! Don’t be shocked to read SPOILERS & groan-worthy electricity puns throughout.

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Doom Patrol’s Unfinished Second Season Deserves Praise

To celebrate the release of Jupiter’s Legacy, I finally watched Doom Patrol season two! I have no regrets! Better late to the second party than never! I’m still gobsmacked that this is a real television series verified by assorted strangers rather than a private ayahuasca hallucination. This HBO Max show survived the death of DC Universe. The following cold take is full of season two SPOILERS that sound like gibberish!

NegativeMan_CrazyJane

Nobody questions clipboards!

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Legends Of Tomorrow … IN SPACE!

Now that I’ve finished badmouthing Batwoman for the time being, we can move on to the best of the Beeboverse! Legends of Tomorrow would never insult Bat-Shark Repellent! This was one of the rare series that was able to finish its 2020 run uninterrupted. Living up to its title, this is the last Beeboverse show to return. Since most of the more punctual series (Batwoman, The Flash, Supergirl) are still set in 2020, why isn’t anybody wearing a Fatewatch? SPOILERS abound for “Ground Control To Sara Lance” & the extended trailer! Thankfully my CW affiliate didn’t preempt it like the latest Supergirl & Nancy Drew. Beebo is the only cure for The Anti-Life Equation.

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How Bungled Is Batwoman Season 2?

Although it was off to a tentatively good start, Batwoman season two is on track to be as bad as Arrow season 6. Every time I think I’m ready to blog about how aggravating it’s been this season, they release more episodes. I suppose I might as well publish it now to keep the season finale review shorter. If you enjoy SPOILER complaints, this blog’s for you!

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The Toy Fair’s Not Back In Town

Action figures are good, but they can be better! All you have to do is become a customizer! Toys are like drugs except you need to find a place to keep them after the high wears off.

NY Toy Fair has been cancelled for 2021. In lieu of the big press show, many companies are doing smaller virtual conventions through the year. The most hyped was last week’s Hasbro Pulse Fest Fan Fest. Rather than spacing things out, Mattel, Diamond Select, & NECA decided to post similar events around the same time with less fanfare. They were all underwhelming to various degrees. I would’ve made more impulse pre-orders had Hasbro not suddenly jacked up the price of all their 6″ lines by $3. It doesn’t sound that steep on an individual basis, but it adds up when they encourage you to buy entire series of Marvel Legends to complete BAFs. With customers’ budgets already stretched thin by the terrible 2020, this feels like a precarious time to raise prices on non-essentials.

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“Ach, I’m not some nouveau riche piker! I employ people to burn my money for me!”

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Supergirl’s Swansong Starts In Season Six

Supergirl’s sixth & final season didn’t have a trailer until a week before its premiere? The CW is giving it the Black Lightning season four treatment. (At least it appears to be getting unique “next week” promos.) It’s taking the time slot of Superman & Lois until it resumes in May. Is this the first time superfriends Kara & Barry have regularly aired the same night? Here is your obligatory SPOILER warning for what ought to have been its fifth season finale. There some The Flash & Justice League stuff too if you’d prefer not to stay on topic.

Supergirl MissMartian MartianManhunter

“Was it Earth-Perv?”

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Getting Up To Speed On The Flash’s Seventh Season

Now that I didn’t review the Snyder cut of Justice League starring Staplewolf by popular demand, we can get up to speed on The Flash! (Since the DuckTales finale was the runner-up, you’d expect me to get to that blog first. It takes longer to write reviews where there are hardly any criticisms. I will definitely get to it when it’s no longer newsworthy!) The tail end of The Flash’s sixth season was off to a solid start at the beginning of its seventh season. (There’s a sentence!) How about the last two episodes to close it out? Well I’ve got some good news & some bad news… Oh, season seven officially starts with episode four. SPOILERS ahoy for its latest three episodes!

Mirror_Monarch

Instead of Mirror Master or Mirror Mistress, Eva “not a true Scotswoman” McCulloch opts to dub herself Mirror Monarch just to spite my running gag. Would Reflection Ruler be more precise?

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Justice League Snyder Cut Discourse Is Served!

Welcome to my sixth blogiversary! I had three different blogs in progress (DuckTales series finale, The Flash’s “season Finale,” Justice League Snyder cut) for the stacked events of this anniversary week. I let the people vote, & they chose violence the Snyder cut by a huge margin. Nobody voted for the poor F-Lash, which may explain when last year’s anniversary blog performed poorly despite an adorable Grodd pic. (Aren’t they all?) Keep your eyes peeled for the two losing blogs sometime in the near future.

Black Widow is the opposite of the Snyder cut in the sense that it existed before the pandemic yet its studio doesn’t want you to watch it at home post-pandemic. (If a movie needed $70 million extra dollars for special effects & reshoots, it did not exist in a finished state before.) The Snyder cut of Justice League is being reviewed … elsewhere! Sorry! I still want clickbait visits, just not enough to subscribe to HBOMax. I can’t even afford to review the official tie-in meal kit that sounds like an expensive prank. I have no journalistic integrity! For actual critical analysis, refer to my blogs on Superman & Lois, The Flash, & WandaVision. Here are SPOILERS for a movie I’ve yet to see, so all my spoilers could be wrong? This could be a fun comparison game for you to play at home. So you’re not already sick of this discourse, this blog’s for you!

Steppenwolf

Check out the leaked pic of Stryfe from Deadpool 3!

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The Scarlet Speedster’s Seventh Season Returns In A Flash!

Da mit Barry Allen, everyone’s favorite German talk show, finally returns! What became The Flash’s de facto seventh season premiere got pushed back a week when the series premiere of Superman & Lois decided to take both time slots. (I suppose I might as well discuss episode two too.) Much like Riverdale, last season’s run was cut short by three episodes. Am I going to need to come back in a fortnight to recap what would’ve been the sixth season finale & then do what would’ve been season seven’s premiere the week after?

Season six’s impromptu finale ended on a great note with Mirror Mistress victorious, Sue a framed fugitive, & Iris even more missing than before. There’s also a Ralph Dibny debacle that this episode doesn’t directly address. Unlike Riverdale, this season premiere had more intriguing stuff going down. The Flash is back but not a flashback! Full speed ahead for SPOILERS & Grodd puns!

Ultraviolet

She doesn’t appear in this episode, but Ultraviolet was prepared for the Coronavirus crisis. I now have a greater respect for her.

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The New Adventures Of Superman & Lois

Hasbro’s first Marvel Fan First Friday of 2021 didn’t unveil a Marvel Legends of Polaris from The Gifted. This is both underwhelming (because she deserves one) & a relief (since I just made one). So although I may have jumped the gun on that, I’m arguably punctual for the series premiere of Superman & Lois! The Flash’s return was supposed to lead into this but got pushed back a week. (I’ll cover that next week ahead of Wandavision.) The CW let this series premiere run long & then put a special afterwards to fill up the remainder, but you didn’t miss anything if you skipped that. Do I need to make a specific tag for this show since its title is so close to the “Superman” one I already use? Lois & Clark had the better title. SPOILERS are up, up, down, down, & away!

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