Black Lightning Remains Electrifying

None of my pals wanted to see Ramp-age: Era of Inclined Planes with me, & I didn’t take the personal initiative. (Perhaps I’ll get around to it when exactly nobody care anymore.) That means this week’s blog will be about the conclusion of Black Lightning’s inaugural season. While Legends of Tomorrow is the most fun of The CW’s DC shows, Black Lightning may be its overall best. So it’s currently the reverse-Arrow! Spoilers for stuff that happened after the galvanizing premiere including the first finale strike below!

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Legends Of Tomorrow: Beebo Beatdown!

Welcome to Legends Of Tomorrow, the show where everything’s made up and the points don’t matter! Sometimes they screw things up for the better? Here are assorted musings on the third season’s end, although they may cease to be spoilers if time gets broken again.

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Pacific Rim 2: Kaiju Boogaloo!

I saw Pacific Rim: Uprising with The Wages of Cinema’s Jack Gattanella. We managed to neural handshake into a shorter than usual podcast review. Then I made this drone-Jaeger review that’s secretly infested with spoilers! Or as many as you can have for a sequel to a homage of multiple anime & tonkatsu tokusatsu. Giant robot suits punch giant monsters! Will you rise up to scroll down, or are you writing this off as PR Nightmare? At the very end there’s more lamentations about the demise of Toys R Us.

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Alicia Vikander Unearths Tomb Raider’s Lara Croft

Somehow the original Tomb Raider movie managed to be terrible despite stone monkey guardians. I’m still angry they were dispatched so easily! (The Cradle Of Life was better.) While it could’ve used some stone monkeys, the new Tomb Raider movie is legitimutantly good! It’s just not as gonzo as Chronicles of The Ghostly Tribe. This is an opinion I have as a person only peripherally aware of Lara Croft’s legendary exploits. Below I unearth a review with … not much in the way of spoilers. How’d I manage that?

Following in the tradition of Angelina Jolie, another Oscar winning foreigner with a disguise accent was cast as the English protagonist. Sweden’s Alicia Vikander, Oscar winner for Ex Machina, as Lara Croft is worth the price of admission.

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Lara Croft is a cool name, but I would’ve gone with Thomasina Brader for nominative determinism if I had my druthers.

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The Cinematic Adaptation Of Annihilation

I felt obligated to see Annihilation in the cinema since it’s going straight to Netflix in most nations & is being overshadowed by Black Panther pandemonium.¬† It’s based on a book … I haven’t read yet. Sorry, I’m not gonna be much help with adaptation insights here. Why can’t Hollywood ever adapt something I’ve read? Well Peter Rabbit looks like a terrible Beatrix Potter adaptation, but part of me still wants to see General Hux on the receiving end of slapstick violence. Oh, Ready Player One is happening. I resent that its ads are ironically¬† co-opting “Pure Imagination!” Grodd damn it, monkey’s paw! It should’ve been Snowcrash or Neuromancer!

My theater was almost sold out, so I got stuck craning my neck in the front row. It was not an ideal situation. The cast often looked flattened & oddly proportioned as a result of my forced perspective. I’m unsure if this enhanced the body horror. Below begins the annihilation of your pre-spoilers existence.

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Black Panther Dethrones Toy Fair

I went to Wakanda with The Wages of Cinema to visit Black Panther! My kitty’s mad I saw it without her. This I know from speaking the universal language of Espurranto. (I should start calling her Snuggletooth.) Let’s dive right off Warrior Falls into SPOILERS. If you’ve not seen it yet, skip even further down to the tilde for Toy Fair 2018 SPOILERS!

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Syfy Made Me Happy!

It’s usually easier to review something I dislike. I can point out its perceived shortcomings, explain why it didn’t appeal to me, & make suggestions of how to fix it, all while incorporating snarky quips. Meanwhile I struggle to write thorough reviews of media that just click with me. (Perhaps one day I can be as insightful as The Institute of Gremlins 2 Studies.) This installment comes later than expected because I wanted to write a meaningful recommendation of Happy! beyond “I liked this! It’s good; trust me.”

Syfy has won me over with its adaptation of Happy! Much like FILLER! & mother! (I learned only too late that it has no capitals), its loopiness bleeds into my sentence structure thanks to its mandatory exclamation mark. Sometimes it feels like it was made just for me! The Grant Morrison & Darick Robertson comic is only four issues, so it’s perfect length for a feature film. Unlike Inhumans, it translated surprisingly well into an eight episode TV season. The expanded stuff is legitimutantly engaging instead of empty padding.

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