Hellboy Held Up, Avengers Eventually

Last week floated the question of whether I’d be reviewing the Hellboy reboot this week. The answer is … no. Sorry, everybody eagerly awaiting my review!

I both do & don’t want to see it. I really wanted Hellboy 3 by Guillermo del Toro starring Ron Perlman! Mike Mignola’s stark minimalism was almost diametrically opposed to del Toro’s lush maximalism but it worked! (I’ve heard gossip that Mignola being displeased with the movies diverging so much from the comics was a factor in nixing the third one.) I would’ve been fine seeing this one providing the trilogy had finished, but it didn’t. The monsters in the trailers (where Hellboy says he’s a Capricorn despite being a Libra in the comics) look nifty, but both general reviewers & Hellboy fans say it’s not good. I kind of feel bad skipping it since I’ll probably end up seeing the much worse looking Dark Phoenix in theaters. The original was released in April too, but I still think October would be a better fit (especially with all the competition this month). I was thinking about seeing it at a matinee, but the timing hasn’t worked out yet. Maybe I’ll get to it once it’s completely irrelevant?

So this almost late installment will mostly be about tangential Avengers tidbits that would’ve made my forthcoming review of the next movie even more long-winded.

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Black Lightning & The Flash Get Lit

I’ve finally seen all the Leprechaun films! Only the Warwick Davis ones count, mind you. I’ve learned Leprechaunitis is transmitted by biting. This is unrelated to the rest of this entry. I just thought you should know.

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Black Lightning just had its second season finale, so it’s time to check back in on it! The headline spoils I discuss The Flash afterwards! (It also signals “get lit” is over as a hip idiom.) Both Jefferson Pierce & Barry Allen are family men with lightning bolts on their costumes.

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Does Captain Marvel Live Up To Its Title?

For my fourth blogiversary, I’m doing a SPOILERY collaboreview with The Wages of Cinema for Captain Marvel! It only took twenty-one films, but Marvel Studios finally has a solo superheroine & a female (co-)director!

You can read the rest by Skrullin’ scrolling higher lower, further, faster, baby!

CaptainMarvel_

Only Binary opinions on Captain Marvel are allowed.

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The Gifted’s Sophomore Season Could’ve Been More Talented

I haven’t discussed The Gifted since the premiere, so this is going to SPOIL the rest of the second season. This is one of those times where I was writing the blog along with the series, so let me know if my amendments are coherent.

Lorna

Drunk with power after beating the Scarlet Witch at tiaras by default, Polaris turns her ultra-competitive gaze towards the Stepford Cuckoos!

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Toy Fair Can Stand Under My Umbrella Academy

Last week’s blog was short, but this one will be super long! If you don’t want to be spoiled by my The Umbrella Academy review, scroll to the second tilde for some Toy Fair news. Your attempts to keep me from seeing the Kim Possible movie have failed as well!

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The LEGO Movie 2 Is Awesome, Obviously

As you’d expect, The LEGO Movie 2: The Second Part is awesome. There, that’s the zero spoilers review. Go see it. (Then keep reading this. It also contains non-LEGO musings.)

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Netflix V. Gotham: Dawn Of Bombogenesis

So there was no blog last week. I failed you, & the world didn’t stop spinning as it was supposed to! My work on an extensive custom project was derailed by bombogenesis. (R.I.P. Dick Miller & the Marcal factory.) Extreme cold makes me go into hibernation mode because I’m half-Scarren. I could’ve run something else, but my anti-creativity levels also rose. I’ll probably end up writing over fifty-two posts this year anyway, so this wasn’t a big loss. We’re back now False Spring has sprung with the Year of the Pig, cake sniffers!

Super Bowl commercials were equally uninspired this year aside from Houses Lannister & Targaryen uniting to make those obnoxious Bud Light bastards dilly dilly dead. (Skittles Commercial: The Broadway Musical doesn’t count but was probably superior.) Why don’t the football teams also put aside their differences to form one mega-team? As I understand sports only marginally better than Bitcoin, I shall devote the rest of this essay on the merits of Netflix originals & Gotham again. It was either that or random feline thoughts. (Those will return eventually!)

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