Jessica Jones Dourly Ends The Defenders Era

Daredevil, Luke Cage, Iron Fist, The Defenders, & The Punisher have all been cancelled. Jessica Jones is the last Defender standing. Well her series is done after season three, but it’s the last of Marvel’s Netflix shows to be released. Although I refuse to let go of Kilgrave not being purple, Jessica Jones season one was great. I liked season two more than most thanks to Janet McTeer’s superlative performance as Alissa Jones. Netflix hasn’t released any fun stills to riff on, so I’m falling back on my own natural resource of cat action figure photos. (Marvel & Netflix care about it so little they didn’t even make any mock covers for it like last season.) Now let’s pour one out with SPOILERS for Jessica Jones season three! Will it finally pay off Chekov’s Stilt-Man?

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Had this deleted scene been set after Endgame, Double J could’ve finagled a European vacation from Triple J.

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Dark Phoenix Is A Dank Failure

The last X-Men movie was delightful, whereas the last X-Men movie was abysmal! (The pedantic distinction is confusing.) Fox let the co-writer of X-Men: The Last Stand, Simon Kinberg, remake his own crappy movie! Even my The Wages of Cinema pals tapped out on Dark Phoenix. They have no sense of masochism! I was thinking about just writing a whole blog about why I’m not excited about this movie, but I don’t know how many times I can do that after missing the Hellboy reboot. (They took it away just as I was getting motivated to see a matinee.) So I’m doing this SPOILERY review solo! (Don’t worry; I bought a ticket to Godzilla: King of the Monsters instead of supporting this financially.) Shocking no one, this movie is not good. You know who is legitimutantly awesome though? Sauron! Please skip this review to the part where I extol his virtues.

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Cloak & Dagger Plus Darkwing Duck Get Happy!

So a lot of television happened. Here’s some assorted season two SPOILERS for Cloak & Dagger, Ducktales, & Happy! (I had to shuffle the order around to ensure the punctuated title is last.) Those are all things you should watch. Then I talk more about Return of the King of the Monsters because SKREE-ONK!!!!

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All Hail Godzilla: King Of The Monsters!

Last week I was fortunate to attend an advance screening of Godzilla: King of the Monsters in IMAX! I haven’t seen the 2014 American Godzilla, but I have seen Kong: Skull Island. (Let’s consider Deep Rising as sequel to that!) I’ve also seen an assortment of Toho’s Godzilla oeuvre including Shin Gojira, but those are not required viewing to understand this installment. Here’s the collaboreview for Godzilla 2: Titan Boogaloo with with Jack Gattanella & guest star Alex Valderana for The Wages of Cinema! (Sorry, Andrew & Korey aficionados!)

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Riverdale Makes Less Sense Than The Flash?

Now that Agents of SHIELD has returned (“Synergy SNAFU Stymies SHIELD’s Sixth Season!” is the headline I should’ve used) to ABC, the CW’s comic book series are departing! I’m splitting up the SPOILERY season finale reviews this year! First up are The Flash & Riverdale! I haven’t truly blogged about the latter since its season premiere, so there’s plenty to cover & it still won’t make a lick o’ sense!

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She-Ra Season 2 Got Shorted!

Captain Marvel + SHAZAM! = She-Ra! Season two of She-Ra & The Princesses of Power was released at the same time as Avengers: Endgame. (I have an addendum to my review at the end.) Let’s see if that works any better for it than the end of Gotham.

Like Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (Worse idea: putting a working fireplace in a high school library or a diner in a comic book shop?), seasons one & two were made back to back. (That’s more common in the animation industry.) This second batch also has fewer episodes. (There are even more in production, but it’s unclear if they’ll be season 3 or 2.5.) Appropriately for Catradora, they were released on Lesbian Visibility Day.

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If cats rub their scent on all their property, how do they ever find anything?

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How Lame Is Avengers: Endgame?

Now that Gotham is gone (sniff), I guess we’re in the Avengers: Endgame now. (It’s pronounced End-gah-may much like SHAZAM! rhymes with chasm.) I was not impressed by Avengers: Infinity War, so I went into its continuation with disgruntled resignation. Even though I wasn’t excited for the movie, I didn’t want want little enjoyment I might have sapped by spoilers.

This is like a Dagwood sandwich of Marvel Studios movies. Having five mini-films compressed together justifies its three hour length. (Despite the mass hysteria, my bladder made it all way through even as I ate an Alamo Drafthouse dinner.) The pacing glides by. The Russo brothers hold everything together despite ever-shifting tones. Their ability to juggle dozens of characters remains impeccable.

Here comes another SPOILERY collaboreview with The Wages of Cinema! The marketing for this movie shrewd enough to reveal so little that talking about practically anything is a spoiler. So you have nobody to blame but yourself if you keep reading/listening without having seen it. (There’s plenty to critique, so who knows whether anything is presented in coherent order.) Since it made $1.2 billion worldwide in its opening weekend, however, I wager you’ve already been inoculated.

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