The Defenders Is A Good Offense

Netflix’s The Defenders is finally out! My pre-Defenders blog became obsolete so fast! (If you’re not interested in this series, I recommend streaming the following international films on Netflix, depending on your region: Tag, The Forbidden Room, Wetlands, Filth, Look Who’s Back, Bon Cop/Bad Cop, & The Treacherous.) I was impressed by Daredevil season one, loved Jessica Jones, disappointed by Daredevil season two, & pleasantly surprised by Luke Cage. Instead of bothering with Iron Fist, I watched Crazyhead, which has the best title sequence so I regret nothing! Last chance to defend yourself from The Defenders spoilers!

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Pre-Defenders / Post-DuckTales Escapism!

The Defenders comes out on Friday! Until I get a chance to watch it at a leisurely pace, here’s some random other musings! If you make it to the bottom, I’ll tell you about DuckTales!

My feline overlord had her ferocious fifth birthday! She actually liked her presents this year! I don’t know how to process this.

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A Purricane of judgmental kitties would be more terrifying than any Sharknado.

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Valerian & The City Of Atomic Blonde!

With Marvel & DC’s cinematic rivalry on hold until November, we can turn our attention to film adaptions of indie comic books: Valerian & The City Of A Thousand Planets & Atomic Blonde. These two motion pictures share other commonalities too: I’ve not read either source material yet, John Goodman’s voice, & neither is doing as well at the box office as I believe they ought to be. If you want more variety in your comic book movies, support these! So (with very minimal spoilers) here’s why you should see both of them in cinemas. (But if you only want Marvel & DC movie tidbits, scroll down to where I discuss Deadpool 2 & Aquaman.)

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Toys & Trailers of SDCC 2017!

Thanks for choosing my blog to absorb your armchair SDCC 2017 coverage from! SDCC remains the statistically safest place to avoid comic book news. As someone who has been to San Diego Comic Con ONCE, you can count on me! After all, my SDCC prediction from last week came true! Lots of stuff happened, so I will do my best to ignore that thing you actually wanted to read about! Click on down because we’ve got the bait!

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Wonder Woman, Squirrel Girl, & Doctor Who Team-Up!

A Wonder Woman, Squirrel Girl, & The Doctor team-up … is not something that is happening. Sorry! If I had my druthers, it would’ve happened already. Their joint powers & can-do attitudes would need to be pitted against a combined mega-obstacle just to be sporting! Okay, maybe that team-up would be too successful at solving all the multiverse’s problems for any successive fiction to matter.  But now that Spider-Man: Homecoming is out of the way, we can finally resume talking about these lovely ladies!

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Spider-Man: Homecoming Is Fun Yet Not Definitive

And we’re back! I don’t always appear in photographs, but when I do I make the the front page of the July 3rd Chronicle Herald metro edition.

Oh, they made another Spider-Man reboot movie? Andrew from The Wages of Cinema told me I was required to see it with them for color commentary podcasting. He has a very menacing stare!

Websling on down for a SPOILER spectacular! THWIP!

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Who’s Ready For Spider-Man Fatigue?

The trailer for Black Panther is awesome, even if his tweaked costume still isn’t gold-accented. Contrariwise, the more buzz I hear for Spider-Man: Homecoming, the less I’m excited for it.  The final poster is not good. The Vulture’s personality & gear seems more suited to Beetle. (It seems likely Hannah John-Kamen will be the Janice Lincoln version in Ant-Man & the Wasp. Does that mean Tombstone will appear too?) Zendaya is playing an existing character under an alias as if the reveal of her true identity is supposed to be some dramatic surprise? There’s already too much Iron Man in his ugly Ultimates armor. The bastards broke seven LEGO Death Stars just for one gag.

Now Spider-Man’s suit greets him by announcing his secret identity. This is a huge design flaw that could’ve been easily avoided. The new moral is that Spidey must show great responsibility to prove himself worthy of the Stark’s high-tech clothing? (If Sony & Marvel could’ve shared Venom too, this would be a better opportunity to set up that spinoff movie. Tom “No one cared who I was until I put on the symbiote.” Hardy starring as Venom is exciting casting that would’ve been even better if TDKR’s Bane was on Venom, but apparently his solo movie won’t tie-in with the MCU Spidey’s adventures to the detriment of both studios.) I still don’t like either of his costumes that carried over from IMvCA: DoV. The one in the upcoming Playstation video game is more appealing for trying something new instead of being an inferior copy of the classic suit compared to Raimi’s trilogy & Amazing Spider-Man 2.

I have such Spidey fatigue that I don’t know if I even want to see it in cinema. I didn’t even watch the last two in theatres because they lacked J. Jonah Jameson, & this cashgrab is making the same mistake (unless that’s who Zendaya’s secret identity is). On the other paw, I’m sure a review will appeal to more readers than a Sisyphean blog trying to make my toils at writing a difficult second novel sound fascinating. (I just typed up the chapter where a vintage MechaGodzilla model is built! I kinda feel like I should quit while I’m ahead.) Can I run a very timely review of Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark instead? Maybe I’ll watch it but buy another ticket to GOTG 2 or Wonder Woman at the box office. What say you?

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