Doctor Who Examines The Shape Of Water

We have another misleading title this week, as Doctor Who doesn’t interact with The Shape Of Water. I write about both of them though (plus Justice League Action), so this was another byproduct of needing an SEO friendly title for an overview of disparate topics. Onward to the year’s final blog!

It feels like I’ve been waiting forever to see Guillermo del Toro’s The Shape Of Water. (I doubt this staggered release did its box office any favors.) Co-writen by Vanessa Taylor, it’s The Creature From The Black Lagoon meets Amélie. The costumes & furnishings aren’t as sumptuous as Crimson Peak due to the setting, but it’s a more captivating film. It’s as gorgeous as a GdT movie ought be!


We wouldn’t have to objectify Sexy Fish Man if he had a name.

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Disney & FCC Holiday Humbug

After much rumor & negotiation, Disney bought 21st Century Fox for the ludicrous amount of $52.4 billion. This means X-Men & Fantastic Four can join the MCU. The petty era of them being scrubbed off merchandise is over! They could star in cartoons & video games again! Hasbro could make a Marvel Legends movie Deadpool! Maybe this will motivate Marvel to stop marginalizing the merry mutants in comic books? Can Squirrel Girl, Scarlet Witch, & Quicksilver get retconned back into being muties? Since the MCU movies have been consistently better than Fox’s Marvel movies, this should make me happy. Why isn’t it?

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The Last Jedi Renewed My Faith In Star Wars

In Rian Johnson’s Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Luke & Rey go to extreme lengths to unsuccessfully kill a lone Mynock that got into their Midichlorian factory before Luke finally agrees that nobody cares if The Force is slightly less than 98% pure. The original title was Star Wars: The Ultimate Jedi Who Wastes All the Other Jedi & Eats Their Bones, but that was too long a spoiler to print on posters.

I was one of the few not wowed over by The Force Awakens. Rogue One was even more superfluous. Only Rian Johnson’s filmography had raised my hopes for Episode VIII. Seeing it with The Wages of Cinema was a pleasant surprise. Please peruse this Porg podcast! Then real SPOILERS happen! (Several of these SW:TLJ Bingo spaces are accurate.)

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DC TV Winter Finales Are Low-Key

The Shape Of Water still isn’t playing at a theater near me yet, so I guess I’m writing about TV again this week. It’s winter finale time again for DC TV. Compared to last week’s epic Nazi-slaying crossover extravaganza, they’re on the subdued side. This year the Gotham mid-season finale (which they’re technically right in calling a season finale since its second half airs in spring) was considerate enough to line up with the CW’s. Things will be spoiled, unless you’ve seen them already. (I don’t say too much about Legends of Tomorrow as my brain has yet to fully parse its ratio of brilliant to inane this week.)

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Agents of SHIELD … IN SPACE!!!

Our long Inhumans nightmare is finally over (I still haven’t mustered the willpower to view its final four episodes.) because Agents of SHIELD is back! I’ve missed these spies! Thanks to Disney for mandating ABC renew it! The two-part season five premiere was so enjoyable that it opened with a Talking Heads music video! SPOILERS IN SPAAAACE!!!


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Love During Crisis On Earth-X!

Now that Justice League finally hit the big screen (it’s so much better than Pottersville!), it’s time for their TV counterparts to crossover again in Crisis On Earth- X!  Except Batman is over in Gotham, which now makes (Green) Arrow wonder it bothers showing up on Thursday. Whereas each part of last year’s Invasion! crossover could still function as a discrete episode of a particular series, this year’s installments are so integrated that they forgo individualized series title cards. The best way to tell which show you’re watching is by which core cast is billed first. The list of thespians that have been in all four shows just expanded! I’m glad they compressed the story’s airing into two nights for maximum momentum.

Brace for SPOILERS on Earth-Whatever-Number-This-Is!


Henceforth he shall be known as Mr. Tallrific.

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Justice League Is Served!

Ice! Mr. Freeze! Captain Cold! Killer Frost! Icicle! Ice Maiden! Blue Snowman! Minister Blizzard! Together they are The Just Ice League! And none of them appear in the Justice League movie!

I’m pleased to say that Justice League doesn’t suck! That doesn’t necessarily mean it’s spectacular. Do not go in expecting a Marvel Studios film. It’s a good movie but not a great movie. Much of what holds it back is having to clean up after Batman v. Superman: Dawn Of Justice. Fortunately the Justice League itself is a charismatic team instead of the maudlin worst case scenario we’d feared. The action is kinetic, the jokes are funny, & the story is coherent. So says The Wages of Cinema!

Fans of Eureka please send them feedback! Then read onward for THE SPOILERS OF JUSTICE! (They’re like the Hammers of Justice, except you can’t make bookshelves with ’em.)

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