I’ve got a backlog of writing that’s more esoteric than my usual rants. Since my neophyte blogging days, however, I’ve learned it’s better for site traffic to prioritize blogs that are newsworthy in the moment. (Even being well timed, however, isn’t a guarantee they’ll be popular upon posting.) Then when there isn’t anything trendy happening in a given week, I get confused over which ramble is most worth editing into something readable.
That was going to be the case last week, but then I heard D23 was happening. So after postponing to see if anything earthshaking was revealed, it was more of a
Loki lowkey affair aside from a Werewolf By Night trailer & Thunderbolts roster. So then I opted not to rush to publish my thoughts. Instead this is mostly rambling Marvel Cinematic Universe cold takes. I held back some stuff that’d be germane to She-Hulk: Attorney At Law & Black Panther: Wakanda Forever. In addition to general MCU & adjacent Spider-Man, I’ll start off with hypothetical X-Men. Belated Marvel Comics rants will be a future blog.
It’s cat bloggin’ time! Recently I celebrated my cat’s tenth birthday. (I waited until after to write this headline & introduction so as not to jinx it with tragedy.) I don’t know if it’s her real birthday, but it’s the one I assigned her in lieu of a birth certificate. It’s also not her tenth anniversary of being the feline in residence. (Until her family pays her ransom, this cat will continue to be my hostage.) Rather than continuously refer to her generically, I will reveal her first name starts with D. This will maintain a level of privacy for her & prevent me from having to commit to one spelling online. Happy decade to the D-Cat!
Unlike the inflatable birthday hat fiasco, this year I went out of my way to purchase her Yeoww! catnip toys from Pet Goods she actually appreciates. The path of least resistance works to placate pussycats! Hopefully they’ll make some catnip fish in new colors because I believe she now has the complete set. She’s quite fond of nip-pineapple. I was able to get plenty of photos of her playing with her new toys, but the lighting wasn’t ideal. So here’s some of her wielding hammers instead!
“These tools are mine now. I am become a hammerist.”
Action figures are good, but they can be better! All you have to do is become a customizer! Toys are like drugs except you need to find a place to keep them after the high wears off.
NY Toy Fair has been cancelled for 2021. In lieu of the big press show, many companies are doing smaller virtual conventions through the year. The most hyped was last week’s Hasbro Pulse Fest Fan Fest. Rather than spacing things out, Mattel, Diamond Select, & NECA decided to post similar events around the same time with less fanfare. They were all underwhelming to various degrees. I would’ve made more impulse pre-orders had Hasbro not suddenly jacked up the price of all their 6″ lines by $3. It doesn’t sound that steep on an individual basis, but it adds up when they encourage you to buy entire series of Marvel Legends to complete BAFs. With customers’ budgets already stretched thin by the terrible 2020, this feels like a precarious time to raise prices on non-essentials.
“Ach, I’m not some nouveau riche piker! I employ people to burn my money for me!”
There are only two kinds of people in the world: Are you Team Lizerd or Team Monke? A clash of Titans reunited The Wages Of Cinema for an unusually animated collaboreview! Godzilla was declared King Of The Monsters in the last movie. King Kong is just Kong in the Monsterverse so he’s gotta do a regicide to earn his title.
This movie is exactly what it says on the tin, so that should decide for you if it’s your bag. It’s the sort of movie where there both is & isn’t that much to write about. None of this rumble takes place in the jungle, but let’s burrow straight into the
Pellucidar Skartaris Hollow Earth of Godzilla Vs. Kong SPOILERS!
Well that escalated quickly! Isn’t this how The Last Last Man On Earth began? The one with Kristen Schaal not Vincent Price, although a vampire virus would be much cooler. (Everybody go read I Am Legend by Richard Matheson! Novel coronavirus is spread through literacy.) I am sadly very highly trained in social distancing. Panic buying groceries was less terrible than expected, but I forgot to buy Worcestershire sauce even though it was on my list!
In times of crisis, people especially need escapism. I’m usually bad at scheduling blog topics, but I get a jump on writing about the year’s blockbusters. Never mind! They’re all getting postponed! Delaying The New Mutants is the key part of a spell to cancel The Apocalypse. When the global quarantine is lifted, cinemas are going to be backed up with leftovers. At least there’s plenty of television left to keep us from going stir crazy. Oh wait, production on all the network series shut down before they could get their season finales in the bag! Well Black Lightning featuring Grunkle Gravedigger & (Green) Arrow wrapped up, but most will leave viewers hanging. If ABC could air the completed final season of Agents of SHIELD early, that’d be lovely. All the media that’s been delayed should just be chucked in a bonfire. So go binge Lodge 49 on Hulu!
Unlike venues you enjoy visiting, Matt The Catania intends to stay open during this crisis. Sorry! Weekly coverage will probably revert to esoteric mishmashes with headlines that aren’t SEO friendly. Maybe I’ll finally get back to writing my second novel? (I wrote a key scene set in the basement of a library without checking if the real location has one. The uncertainty was contributing to my writer’s block. Then I found it does. Phew!) With luck, we’ll all be alive when this epidemic fizzles out as its curve flattens.
I was more excited to see Cats than Episode IX! I had the option to get my alcohol before witnessing Cats, but I decided I needed to experience it stone cold sober. I survived because I’m a Lynx. (Did I just get knighted?) Before my semi-SPOILERish critique, listen to this surpise collaboreview with The Wages of Cinema! I did not expect Jack & Korey to go for it when I pitched a screening. (I liked it more than them.) Andrew chickened out, but I did steal this headline from him. “Like Hamilton for Furries!” should be on the posters.
Netflix released Stranger Things season three on July 4, which coincides with this year’s narrative. It also competed against the Mysterio movie (Now that it & Aquaman are rolling in dough from embracing outlandish comic book costumes, can the era of grounded superhero aesthetics finally be dead?), much like how it pitted She-Ra against Avengers: Endgame. Unlike CAOS part two & She-Ra season three, this is definitely a discrete season unto itself. Holiday socializing pushed back my viewing schedule, so brace yourself for another cold take. I’d warn you about SPOILERS, but Netflix admitted that everyone already saw it.
So a lot of television happened. Here’s some assorted season two SPOILERS for Cloak & Dagger, DuckTales, & Happy! (I had to shuffle the order around to ensure the punctuated title is last.) Those are all things you should watch. Then I talk more about Return of the King of the Monsters because SKREE-ONK!!!!
Last week I was fortunate to attend an advance screening of Godzilla: King of the Monsters in IMAX! I haven’t seen the 2014 American Godzilla, but I have seen Kong: Skull Island. (Let’s consider Deep Rising as sequel to that!) I’ve also seen an assortment of Toho’s Godzilla oeuvre including Shin Gojira, but those are not required viewing to understand this installment. Here’s the collaboreview for Godzilla 2: Titan Boogaloo with with Jack Gattanella & guest star Alex Valderana for The Wages of Cinema! (Sorry, Andrew & Korey aficionados!)
At this point, my core purpose for blogging is so I have ready typed anecdotes on nerdy esoterica prepped to go in the off chance they’re tangentially relevant to online discourse. (Apparently I’ve done over 200 of these, & I still don’t know what I’m doing?) Nothing exciting happens in November, so I guess this entry will be filled up with long delayed ramblings. (Scheduling Giving Tuesday after Cyberman Monday, the international holiday of Mondas, was a bad idea.) Some of them are Marvelous. And I thought no installment this month would be less appealing than a repainted Ronan! Continue reading