I’ve got a backlog of writing that’s more esoteric than my usual rants. Since my neophyte blogging days, however, I’ve learned it’s better for site traffic to prioritize blogs that are newsworthy in the moment. (Even being well timed, however, isn’t a guarantee they’ll be popular upon posting.) Then when there isn’t anything trendy happening in a given week, I get confused over which ramble is most worth editing into something readable.
That was going to be the case last week, but then I heard D23 was happening. So after postponing to see if anything earthshaking was revealed, it was more of a
Loki lowkey affair aside from a Werewolf By Night trailer & Thunderbolts roster. So then I opted not to rush to publish my thoughts. Instead this is mostly rambling Marvel Cinematic Universe cold takes. I held back some stuff that’d be germane to She-Hulk: Attorney At Law & Black Panther: Wakanda Forever. In addition to general MCU & adjacent Spider-Man, I’ll start off with hypothetical X-Men. Belated Marvel Comics rants will be a future blog.
The end of June/start of July was jam packed with season finales for Superman & Lois, The Flash, & Stranger Things. Now it’s finally time for my most anticipated movie of the year, Th4! If you’ve already read my teaser reaction for Thor: Love & Thunder & my Marvel Legends gallery, a fun game will be seeing how much of this review I directly plagiarized from myself. If you’ve not read those blogs, all this will be new to you! Either way, this The Wages Of Cinema collaboreview crackles with SPOILERS for the fourth Thor! Grab your Mjolnir popcorn bucket & rock onward!
Remember when I thought we’d be getting a trailer for Thor: Love & Thunder shortly after customizing Shocker? Well it exists at last! Thor 4 currently holds the record for shortest gap betwixt first trailer & release date. Much like its forerunner’s, this trailer provides a blog topic ahead of my review. It’s a short teaser, so don’t expect much depth. (People need to stop pretending that teasers are distinct from trailers.) This is mostly an exercise to workshop some wordplay before higher profile outlets steal them. Maybe this way my collaboreview will be a reasonable length this time? Or if nobody reads this, I can get away with recycling these puns in under three months. What I’m saying is supporting the #renewLegendsOfTomorrow campaign is more important at the moment.
Unlike Uatu, I have vowed to interfere with your viewing enjoyment of assorted Marvel adaptations! Disney’s first official MCU cartoon, “What If…?”, is simultaneously canon & irrelevant to the MCU because of they’ve officially admitted there’s a multiverse. Every Marvel adaptation is now retroactively part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, completionists!
The series premiere is the most boring, yet I spent the most words discussing it. It acclimates viewers to the concept as subsequent episodes become more experimental. It doesn’t do anything as provocative as Steve Rogers professing blind patriotism is bad. These brisk episodes expect you to conversant with the MCU, which shouldn’t be an issue if you’re streaming on Disney+. “What if … Phil Coulson lived?” is available to stream now too. Some of the minutia has been fudged in these altverses, but it’s not like the movieverse continuity is airtight. At times like those it makes me wish the series wasn’t beholden to the MCU at all. What if … you read below for SPOLIERS for the speculative fiction that Uatu & I watched? What if … this phrase wasn’t at all overused in this post?
After last week’s commissioned deep dive into Stormfront the proverbial milkshake duck, I figured it’s time to clear out some of the Marvel content cluttering my drafts. I won’t be finished editing my X Of Swords review until nobody cares, so this is light on X-Men content. It does have a surfeit of pre-Christmas action figure photos if that’s your bag. (I will regret this if Santa only delivers coal this year.) After the MCU news musings not involving She-Hulk, my comic book thoughts are separated by superfluous tildes!
“Now I have The Phoenix Force! Ho ho ho!”
Captain Marvel + SHAZAM! = She-Ra! Season two of She-Ra & The Princesses of Power was released at the same time as Avengers: Endgame. (I have an addendum to my review at the end.) Let’s see if that works any better for it than the end of Gotham.
Like Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (Worse idea: putting a working fireplace in a high school library or a diner in a comic book shop?), seasons one & two were made back to back. (That’s more common in the animation industry.) This second batch also has fewer episodes. (There are even more in production, but it’s unclear if they’ll be season 3 or 2.5.) Appropriately for Catradora, they were released on Lesbian Visibility Day.
If cats rub their scent on all their property, how do they ever find anything?
Now that Gotham is gone (sniff), I guess we’re in the Avengers: Endgame now. (It’s pronounced End-gah-may much like SHAZAM! rhymes with chasm.) I was not impressed by Avengers: Infinity War, so I went into its continuation with disgruntled resignation. Even though I wasn’t excited for the movie, I didn’t want want little enjoyment I might have sapped by spoilers.
This is like a Dagwood sandwich of Marvel Studios movies. Having five mini-films compressed together justifies its three hour length. (Despite the mass hysteria, my bladder made it all way through even as I ate an Alamo Drafthouse dinner.) The pacing glides by. The Russo brothers hold everything together despite ever-shifting tones. Their ability to juggle dozens of characters remains impeccable.
Here comes another SPOILERY collaboreview with The Wages of Cinema! The marketing for this movie shrewd enough to reveal so little that talking about practically anything is a spoiler. So you have nobody to blame but yourself if you keep reading/listening without having seen it. (There’s plenty to critique, so who knows whether anything is presented in coherent order.) Since it made $1.2 billion worldwide in its opening weekend, however, I wager you’ve already been inoculated.
For my fourth blogiversary, I’m doing a SPOILERY collaboreview with The Wages of Cinema for Captain Marvel! It only took twenty-one films, but Marvel Studios finally has a solo superheroine & a female (co-)director!
You can read the rest by
Skrullin’ scrolling higher lower, further, faster, baby!
Only Binary opinions on Captain Marvel are allowed.
Much like Gotham’s Azrael, there’s a good costume for Guardians of the Galaxy’s Ronan the Accuser hiding beneath a drab color scheme. His Captain Marvel prequel costume still isn’t green enough! Since I already had the GOTG version, I decided just to give that a full repaint as threatened instead of waiting to see if Hasbro would release a moderately greener one. (I haven’t seen one solicited yet, but it could be offered in a two-pack with Kree colors Carol Danvers.) Photos of the completed custom as well as mini-rants about Venom & Stilt-Man to follow!
“I accuse you of aping my look!”
Last time I did a collaboreview with The Wages of Cinema, it was just Jack & I on Pacific Rim: Uprising. This time we’ve got the whole kooky quartet back together! Forsooth this is the most ambitious crossover event in history! Alas, they can’t all be odes to dirigible crime! Infinite Spoilers for Avengers: Infinity War would be a lie because I eventually run out of them. I did throw in some for Agents of SHIELD because everything is tenuously connected.