Thanks to a three week hiatus for the Winter Olympics, Legends Of Tomorrow’s & Batwoman’s season finales didn’t directly abut Peacemaker’s. This is only a relief to me, who was worried about not being able to produce & promote both blogs back to back. (I still didn’t match this zenith of journalism on the best televisual reboot of a Clooney & Kidman film.) On the other paw, thanks for ruining the momentum, Olympics! SPOILERS abound below, which should not be a Shocker if you’re familiar with this blog.
This January was even worse for me than usual, what with everything breaking behind the scenes. I’m glad to have survived into the latest Year Of The Tiger. I’m going to use my crummy start to the year as my excuse for missing a week after my Baron Zemo custom. I’ll rue this when I look back at 2022’s annual readership! Meanwhile my paranoid paean to God-Lyn suddenly did gangbusters during this break, so perhaps I should publish even less?
So to compensate, I’m dumping out a variety of Batman thoughts I’d been stockpiling. It’s a mess, but I streamlined it by saving the movie & cartoon bits for later. Note that these aren’t about The Batman, as I feel I’m the only person not enthused about that movie. (It’s not about the earlier cartoon either.) I don’t even plan on watching it in a cinema. I just really needed to put The Batman in the title out of SEO desperation. Maybe this way people will want to read this ramble in March.
The Batman is not gonna be as brilliant as Dan Pinto’s script from Ingrid Goes West. The Batman makes me miss Gotham. How can I already be nostalgic for something that only ended recently? An HBO Max TV show about the GCPD before the Batman & another about Penguin sound like they’ll be stretching the narrative pretty thin. If only there was some way to combine the two into something meaty…
I once wrote a listicle of worst dressed movie supervillains that concluded throwing a trenchcoat over a weak design doesn’t help. When Helmut Zemo finally got a costume in The Falcon & The Winter Soldier along with his barony, it was basically a trenchcoat over a weak design. I must be the biggest hypocrite of all since his was the only action figure I purchased out of the first Disney+ Marvel Legends wave. I’m just a sucker for a superb Daniel Brühl likeness.
McFarlane Toy’s DC Multiverse Polka-Dot Man was molded in ecru despite his suit in The Suicide Squad clearly being white. The toy also comes with a card pointing out they didn’t paint the dots right. (In ye olden days, Todd would’ve given it immaculate paint at the expense of useful articulation.) So I did the only sane thing & repainted it. See if you can spot all the differences.
Batwoman aired its third mid-season finale last week. I could’ve gotten it up sooner, but I had to contend with reviewing Masters Of The Universe Revelation Part 2, cooking for Thanksgiving, & getting a Covid booster. (I’m thankful for vaccines this year! They’re free, which is the best healthcare value for your money possible. Get vaxxed already!) Rather than saving these thoughts for a season finale overview, it became apparent that it’d be absurdly long like my Supergirl season six recap. So this is either a bit late or a lot early if you’re a binge watcher.
The best & worst of the Beeboverse, Legends Of Tomorrow & Batwoman, are back together again on Wednesday! We’ve had an even shorter break between seasons than usual with The CW attempting to make up for 2020. The gap betwixt LOT’s season six finale & season seven premiere is only a little over a month! Batwoman was the first Beebooverse show back this year & wrapped up in June though, which is closer to the usual span between seasons. SPOILERS for this mismatched DC duo begin below!
Whilst watching The Gifted, it occurred to me that its Polaris could be customized from a Marvel Legends Jessica Jones. Shortly thereafter, I saw someone had used this recipe. Not being the first person to execute it dampened my zeal to make one. When I decided to try my own, I found the price of loose Jessicas had skyrocketed since I acquired mine. Then I saw a bootleg custom The Gifted Polaris on eBay. I don’t normally go in for these gray market pieces, but this one included a superb Emma Dumont likeness I’d not seen in this scale. (Perhaps it was hydroshrunk from one of an unlicensed 1/6 scale Polaris, of which there are a few varieties?) My winning bid ended up being only slightly more than an official Marvel Legends figure. It was supposed to be delivered within the broad range of June 10 – August 4. A China Post tracking number was created on May 21 when I ordered it & then nothing. As 2020 was an exhausting string of calamities, I decided to wait patiently for it & save my anxiety for other matters. The day before its last possible delivery date, I leaned “this user is no longer registered on eBay” from my purchase history. The other listings for this product from assorted sellers disappeared too. That’s the karmic thanks I get for trying to be a good citizen of the ‘Net & alerting other fans to its existence.
Dare I trust AliExpress? Its price was double the refund I received from eBay. (A version with Lorna’s head on Elektra’s body was moderately cheaper.) I decided to go for it while they were still in stock rather than miss out & pay triple later. (It doesn’t appear to be available there anymore either, so I did something astute for a change.) I shaved a few bucks off via a coupon from a friend, Kinou Menthe, who was already a customer. I had to specially authorize my credit card to make this payment. The downloadable invoice PDF did not reflect the coupon, which panicked me greatly. It arrived three weeks later, which is quite reasonable considering I ordered it amidst a pandemic. Then I panicked that the reason it had such a good likeness with a professional paint job is that it was stolen from Hasbro’s secret production line & an official version at a more reasonable price would soon be unveiled now that Fox X-Men are back on the table. Thus far one hasn’t materialized (he wrote as as he rushed to publish this before the inaugural Marvel Fan First Friday of 2021).
It’s odd how Swamp Thing is often described as an obscure character when he had some of the highest media saturation for a DC Comics character prior to its shared movieverse. I never saw either film despite wishing to do so. (Tubi currently just has the sequel.) I recently leaned he previously had a poorly received yet somehow syndicated live action TV series in the 90’s. I did see the movie of Man-Thing, Marvel’s mucky counterpart, featuring the future Trish Walker when it aired as a SciFi Original Movie. Despite being made by the director of the beloved Virtuosity & Lawnmower Man (Sadly Cybo-Man is the exception to the Monkey With A Gun rule.), Man-Thing is so terrible that the title creature is ashamed to show his iconic visage until the climax.
Thanks to the intro of his very short-lived cartoon of which I only vaguely recall seeing the pilot, I’ll always associate Swamp Thing with Jimi Hendrix & The Troggs. (Is Swampy jealous Man-Thing has his own The Mountain Goats song?). He was embargoed from appearing on Justice League Unlimited (aside from some Easter eggs snuck in) because by that point he was cloistered away in the mature readers Vertigo imprint. Thankfully Justice League Action allowed him & John Constantine to poison the minds of the youth! Swampy is very toyetic, yet somehow I never acquired any of his action figures.
Unlike last week’s merry Marvel miscellany, here’s a blog with a pruned topic. You’ve seen my fire gourd, now read my review of Swamp Thing’s relatively new television series! It’s doomed, which makes it more tragic. Now I finally have firsthand anger over this. The morass below is crawling with SPOILERS!
October the Disrober is over. Now commences November the Ember. (The month is halfway over already, but this rhymes better.)
I’ve been remiss in posting new content this month. (I’ve since revised my posting schedule form weekly to semi-weekly in “About” to cover myself.) One of several unconvincing excuses is that according to WordPress, I was at 299 blog posts. One of those was just me reblogging Cain S. Latrani’s review of The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose, so I don’t count that as one I’d written. (Cain has new novels & merchandise available! Go patronize him with your funds!) As far as I’m concerned, this is my real 299th blog. I became paralyzed trying to think of worthy content not only for post #300 but also sufficient for its immediate predecessor! Curse my modicum of integrity!