Netflix finally unleashed The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina upon the mortal realm! (Castlevania season two is also streaming, although I’m still not clear why it’s packaged in separate episodes rather than an animated movie.) I’m going to do a SPOILER review of the whole spooky season below!
I really didn’t intend for this blog to have a pizza through-line. (Unlike that time I bemoaned the world being prematurely deprived of Little Caesar’s smokehouse pizza.) My customized Tombstone was waiting for the next open week, & then A24 suddenly released Slice on streaming platforms after just one day of screenings so it can qualify for Academy Awards. This gave me an excuse to write about TMNT again. Then the trailer for Captain Marvel finally dropped, but it fits too since you can get pizza made with brie. It’s kind of serendipitous.
Preacher’s third season has been a catch-22. Preacher purists will dislike it because it’s strays too far from the comics, whereas I think it’s too faithful because I don’t find the comics to be the unimpeachable masterpiece that everyone else does. (Now it’d be a horse of a different color if this was a televisual Transmetropolitan.)
This week you’re getting a two-for-one review of Teen Titans Go! To The Movies (that exclamation mark in mid-title vexes me) & the first season of Cloak & Dagger! The former has fewer spoilers than the latter.
I remember when there was backlash against the Teen Titans cartoon for deviating from both the comics & the DCAU. After that wormed its way into audience’s hearts, there was backlash against Teen Titans Go! for seemingly disrespecting its predecessor. (I find it to be a better show than it gets credit for, though I only watch it infrequently.) Now we’re all united in hating the Titans trailer because it’s awful. (Does this mean we’ll have fond memories of Titans by the time the next reboot is teased?) Teen Titans Go! To The Movies makes DC Universe’s flagship series look even more embarrassing because it’s legitimutantly fun!
Last week, I wrote that I may be showing off another custom. The latest one turns out to be taking a little longer than expected. I thought about rushing to get it done in time before realizing San Diego Comic Con coverage starts this week. Rather than letting all my hard work get lost amidst the noise of coverage, I’m postponing that post. That way when I do upload it after my armchair SDCC coverage, it’ll be ignored for the right reasons.
So this week is a follow up to one of my least read posts of this year. It’s an evergreen article on books & cats, this time with a superior title. I say evergreen because it will perpetually be non-current. Spoilers for decades-old books away!
I felt obligated to see Annihilation in the cinema since it’s going straight to Netflix in most nations & is being overshadowed by Black Panther pandemonium. It’s based on a book … I haven’t read yet. Sorry, I’m not gonna be much help with adaptation insights here. Why can’t Hollywood ever adapt something I’ve read? Well Peter Rabbit looks like a terrible Beatrix Potter adaptation, but part of me still wants to see General Hux on the receiving end of slapstick violence. Oh, Ready Player One is happening. I resent that its ads are ironically co-opting “Pure Imagination!” Grodd damn it, monkey’s paw! It should’ve been Snowcrash or Neuromancer!
My theater was almost sold out, so I got stuck craning my neck in the front row. It was not an ideal situation. The cast often looked flattened & oddly proportioned as a result of my forced perspective. I’m unsure if this enhanced the body horror. Below begins the annihilation of your pre-spoilers existence.
Darren Aronofsky’s latest motion picture is sure to launch a thousand film school theses, so allow this to become one of your citations! Mother! is a tricky film to talk about because, much like FILLER!, every sentence will look wrong unless you manage to place the title at the end. Then it just looks like you’re shouting, which is preferable to not knowing where punctuation goes. After the The Wages Of Cinema podcast collaboreview (They let me discuss a movie that’s not based on a comic book or sci-fi!), it’ll be all SPOILERS. The story is fairly simple, but it’s stuffed to the gills with so many metaphors & ambiguous themes. The most nonspoilery synopsis I can give is “Renowned poet Javier Bardem invites creepy strangers into his giant house much to the chagrin of his devoted yet neglected wife, Jennifer Lawrence.” The characters are credited with descriptions, so I can just refer to the cast by their real names with impunity. It’s a movie that transcends its pretension by going all out.