We are The Wages of Cinema collaboreview for Venom! (Not the one where the tow truck driver got possessed by evil souls kept in voodoo snakes nor the one where kidnappers are scared of a single black mamba. At least it isn’t the third remake of A Star Is Born. We need a Venom/”Bad Romance” mashup pronto to quell that bad blood!) Bond with our symbiotic SPOILERS below!
Agents of SHIELD has been on fire this fourth season, which I shall SPOIL for you. One of its strengths has been splitting its narrative into discrete yet interlocking thirds to keep the momentum wound tight. I’ve complained that the show feels like the MCU’s redheaded stepchild, but ironically this season may be its strongest for having the least direct interconnectivity with Marvel’s movies. The series has built itself up enough that it can now stand on its own.
Remember when Captain America: The Winter Soldier excitingly set-up HYDRA as a major force of modern day villainy? Then how disappointing, albeit believable, it was that the Avengers flattened them out like tortillas under a steamroller in the prologue to Avengers: Age of Ultron? Then recall how HYDRA’s leftovers were somehow even more pathetic in the third season of Agents of SHIELD? Well the Framework’s VR simulation has HYDRA back to being a formidable foe. Not only is this a clever way to reintroduce HYDRA without rolling back the MCU’s stance that it’s been utterly destroyed for real this time, having them in charge feels eerily topical. The HYDRA propaganda posters are a nice touch. I love how the start this arc was named “What If…?” just like the comic series. This is the closest the MCU has come to doing an alternate reality since they’re not ready to dip their toes into an official multiverse like The Flash. It had plenty of callbacks to past seasons including a Bill Paxton tribute. Quit teasing us about Griffin!
Remember when I asked them not to make AIDA evil or seduce Fitz? Well the writers did both! Thankfully it’s executed much more deftly than I’d feared. Then this LMD 3-D prints herself a real human body to acquire free will & unsimulated sensations. She wisely gave herself all the inhuman powers because not only is she Madame HYDRA (unlike AIDA, it’s not actually an acronym), she’s also Super-Adaptoid! After being repressed all season, Mallory Jansen let out all the emotions like a fire hydrant! She honestly deserves an Emmy for doing the most acting!
AIDA as Ophelia as Madame Hydra may be the show’s first costumed supervillain. (That’s kind of sad, albeit less so than giving that honor to Deathlok.) Just like Dr. Strange’s training outfit, her shirt has weird elbow gaps before the cuffs. She even wears a cape in one scene like Veronica Lodge! While far superior to Polaris’s hair in the generic The Gifted, it’s too bad they didn’t dye her hair completely green like
Fire Green Fury on Powerless. (Please get Natalie Morales to reprise that role on a CW show!) Sadly the color grading makes her outfit look practically gray most of the time. Of course she’s also not really Viper as Madame Hydra, but she’s closer than The Wolverine’s version. Whatever her name is, she’s one of the most compelling foes in the MCU.
Last week someone found this blog just by searching “awesome.” Moving on …
Season one of Agents of SHIELD was lousy television. Then season two surprised me by being addictively entertaining. The third season turned out to be a hybrid of the two by being thoroughly average. Losing Kyle MacLachlan, Ruth Negga, Dichen Lachman, Lucy Lawless, & Edward James Olmos was a harsh blow.
Somehow they made HYDRA even more perfunctory & flavorless even with Powers Boothe in charge. The only thing it had going for it was Mr. Giyera a.k.a. Magnoto. Whitehall telling the Malicks that their family branch of HYDRA is dumb immediately after their dad’s funeral was the most I’ve ever liked him. Every time I think they can’t make defeating HYDRA more anticlimactic, they underwhelm me.
What’s worse is that the big Inhumans gamechanger set up last year fails to take off spectacularly because the rest of the MCU won’t acknowledge the brave new status quo.
So some journalists are already releasing their Best Books of 2015 lists. This is ridiculous because it’s not even 2016 yet! Making the official deadline New Year’s just makes things less confusing for everyone. Thus far I haven’t seen my novel on any of these lists either, which is even worse.
So I’m unilaterally declaring (I do that a lot here) The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose by Matthew Catania the best book of 2015! I’m proud of the years of hard work that went into making it, so why shouldn’t my biased opinion count? Maybe it’ll be on your Best of 2015 list too? Let me know if it ranks anywhere. And there’s still time to add it to your [insert preferred holiday] wishlist! Behold another satisfied customer!
“The more that I read I think that the story would make a good video game, with all of its levels!” says my Grandma. I don’t own a video game playing machine, but this sounds about right. Any video game developers reading this that’d like a piece of the action before The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose becomes the next big thing?
The Holiday Prefunk promotion has ended, but you can get learn of great ebook deals by signing up for Runaway Goodness’s newsletter. While the sale may be over, it’s never a bad time to buy The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose! It makes the perfect present for Hanukkah, Christmas, Yule, New Year, Groundhog’s Day, Valentine’s Day, birthdays, anniversaries, or whatever winter holidays you celebrate!
The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose is part of Runaway Goodness & Booktrope’s Prefunk the Holidays promotion! This means the Kindle version will be priced at $2.99 throughout November. If you’re a a Kindle Unlimited subscriber, you can read it for free. The ebook version will be Kindle exclusive for at least this period, but you can still get the paperback version from whomever.
From November 9-14, the Kindle edition will be FREE to everyone! So if you’re low on funds but want to give my debut novel a shot, November is the perfect month to do so. If you’ve already bought an e-copy of it, don’t despair! There are over 200 other Booktrope books that will be free next week. You’re sure to find something new you’ll like.
Once you have acquired The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose at a bargain, I need reviews! Reviews are very helpful for getting indie books like mine to stand out from the sea of the thousands of books published each year. So regardless of whether you acquire my book during the Holiday Prefunk, I still need you to post your critiques to Amazon, Barnes & Noble, GoodReads, your blogs, or wherever else. I’d prefer if you say something nice about it, but even negative reviews can help build buzz. Reader reviews are also useful feedback for how I can improve my difficult second novel.
Don’t forget to post selfies with the book too!
My editor, Majanka Verstraete, is my new Marketing Manager! Reach her at firstname.lastname@example.org for promotional opportunities.
Agents of SHIELD critique & Jack-o’-lantern photos after the break!
Buy The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose RIGHT NOW!
The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose is finished! All of the required documents have been sent to Booktrope. Nobody is more impressed than me, since I started writing it in high school but have since matriculated. Clearly I lack the work ethic of Lou Bloom from Nightcrawler (sadly not starring the fuzziest blue mutie, Kurt Bamfenstein). So to celebrate, here’s the blog debut of a painting (unless you count it being in both trailers) with an excerpt & hashtag on top.
This was the first painting done of Fairuza & the baboon (who has a name, you know!). Maybe I’ll tell you more about their secret origins someday.
Today’s title says The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose is (be)coming, but you can actually get it RIGHT NOW! SURPRISE! Barnes & Noble just has the NOOK edition at the moment, but you can get the paperback & Kindle edition at Amazon. More vendors should roll out soon. Yours, dear reader, are definitely the right hands for this book to fall into. If you could review it after you’ve read it, that’d be awesome. Many thanks in advance for your gracious patronage. I’d like to thank everyone at Booktrope who helped make this happen!