TV Stuff & Preemptive Powerpuff

Greetings! Long time, no blog. I have some exciting news! It’s mostly just exciting to me right now, so I’ve attached it after some more broadly appealing TV tidbits. I’m even gonna rant about Powerpuff instead of waiting for it to air!

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Polaris Is The Most Gifted Custom?

Whilst watching The Gifted, it occurred to me that its Polaris could be customized from a Marvel Legends Jessica Jones. Shortly thereafter, I saw someone had used this recipe. Not being the first person to execute it dampened my zeal to make one. When I decided to try my own, I found the price of loose Jessicas had skyrocketed since I acquired mine. Then I saw a bootleg custom The Gifted Polaris on eBay. I don’t normally go in for these gray market pieces, but this one included a superb Emma Dumont likeness I’d not seen in this scale. (Perhaps it was hydroshrunk from one of an unlicensed 1/6 scale Polaris, of which there are a few varieties?) My winning bid ended up being only slightly more than an official Marvel Legends figure. It was supposed to be delivered within the broad range of June 10 – August 4. A China Post tracking number was created on May 21 when I ordered it & then nothing. As 2020 was an exhausting string of calamities, I decided to wait patiently for it & save my anxiety for other matters. The day before its last possible delivery date, I leaned “this user is no longer registered on eBay” from my purchase history. The other listings for this product from assorted sellers disappeared too. That’s the karmic thanks I get for trying to be a good citizen of the ‘Net & alerting other fans to its existence.

Dare I trust AliExpress? Its price was double the refund I received from eBay. (A version with Lorna’s head on Elektra’s body was moderately cheaper.) I decided to go for it while they were still in stock rather than miss out & pay triple later. (It doesn’t appear to be available there anymore either, so I did something astute for a change.) I shaved a few bucks off via a coupon from a friend, Kinou Menthe, who was already a customer. I had to specially authorize my credit card to make this payment. The downloadable invoice PDF did not reflect the coupon, which panicked me greatly. It arrived three weeks later, which is quite reasonable considering I ordered it amidst a pandemic. Then I panicked that the reason it had such a good likeness with a professional paint job is that it was stolen from Hasbro’s secret production line & an official version at a more reasonable price would soon be unveiled now that Fox X-Men are back on the table. Thus far one hasn’t materialized (he wrote as as he rushed to publish this before the inaugural Marvel Fan First Friday of 2021).

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If Lorna Dane gets an advanced degree she could also be Dr. Polaris.

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Quarantined Cold Takes

I was kind of looking forward to finally seeing The New Mutants this weekend….  Now would be an opportunity to get back to writing my second novel, but the crisis has put a damper on my enthusiasm that. So I continue to squander my time. “FAILED NOVELIST” should be inscribed on my tombstone. I have a newfound respect for sequels now that I realized I otherwise have to do characterization & worldbuilding from scratch. After a really crummy run of things, however, my ex-Booktrope buddy Cain S. Latrani has a new novel published, Wonder Land: Black Ice. It even has a t-shirt!

I already freelance from home, so weirdly self-quarantine doesn’t feel much different to me than most people. This is probably to my benefit, but I still have great existential dread about the pestilence & a new fear of going to the grocery store. (Delivery is booked solid where I live.) Like many self-isolating, I’ve been watching copious amounts of television at home. I was already doing that, so it doesn’t feel like a treat or respite. Now they’re saying this behavior is “heroic,” but where was this encouragement before the pandemic? We may be cursed to live in interesting times, yet my life continues to be uninteresting to describe. I blog, therefore I am not.

So here’s a random smattering of television I’ve been watching. Get your cold takes! Maybe I ought to have saved some of these short reviews for later?

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Jessica Jones Dourly Ends The Defenders Era

Daredevil, Luke Cage, Iron Fist, The Defenders, & The Punisher have all been cancelled. Jessica Jones is the last Defender standing. Well her series is done after season three, but it’s the last of Marvel’s Netflix shows to be released. Although I refuse to let go of Kilgrave not being purple, Jessica Jones season one was great. I liked season two more than most thanks to Janet McTeer’s superlative performance as Alissa Jones. Netflix hasn’t released any fun stills to riff on, so I’m falling back on my own natural resource of cat action figure photos. (Marvel & Netflix care about it so little they didn’t even make any mock covers for it like last season.) Now let’s pour one out with SPOILERS for Jessica Jones season three! Will it finally pay off Chekov’s Stilt-Man?

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Had this deleted scene been set after Endgame, Double J could’ve finagled a European vacation from Triple J.

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Is Daredevil Season 3 A Bullseye?

I successfully didn’t watch Arrow’s season seven premiere! I did see Daredevil season three. Remember when Netflix used to space these out? Dare you read down into SPOILERS? Please do or I wrote this for nothing.

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Bullseye’s favorite song is “Take Me Out” by Franz Ferdinand, & his favorite store is Target.

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Luke Cage Lamentably Lacks Lycanthropes

This Luke Cage season two review is somewhat late because it’s not a series conducive to binging in one day. It should be more punctual than my season one review. Does that make it a lukewarm take? Much like the headline, this contains spoilers.

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Why does he only fight union scabs instead of the Serpent Society proper?

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Jessica Jones, I Want Your Cray Cray!

Jessica Jones has my favorite first season of all Netflix’s Marvel shows. (Granted, I skipped Iron Fist, but a few YouTube clips convinced me I made a wise choice. I don’t care about The Punisher either.) Now I have a cold take on its sophomore season. Therefore I reckon it’ll be less read than my hot take on that misnomered movie about a limited amount of Infinity Stones in a war of finite duration. Let’s spoil its central mystery after the jump.

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Jessica Jones would be even more marketable if she flew around in an eel-powered hovercraft.

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The Defenders Is A Good Offense

Netflix’s The Defenders is finally out! My pre-Defenders blog became obsolete so fast! (If you’re not interested in this series, I recommend streaming the following international films on Netflix, depending on your region: Tag, The Forbidden Room, Wetlands, Filth, Look Who’s Back, Bon Cop/Bad Cop, & The Treacherous.) I was impressed by Daredevil season one, loved Jessica Jones, disappointed by Daredevil season two, & pleasantly surprised by Luke Cage. Instead of bothering with Iron Fist, I watched Crazyhead, which has the best title sequence so I regret nothing! Last chance to defend yourself from The Defenders spoilers!

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Is Luke Cage All The Rage?

The Defenders is coming soon! (I’m hoping it abruptly switches from them teaming up to thwart The Hand to Patsy getting married to Daimon Hellstrom.) Thanks to a temporary Netflix (the company that wants both the TV & movie awards for technically being either) account, I finally got around to fulfilling my promise of watching Luke Cage.  Anybody still need an overview of that? (Let’s see if this obsolete review is more popular than timely reviews of Atomic Blonde & Valerian. Surely it’s got to do better than my S-M: TOTD critique.) My review gets a bit spoilery, but maybe that’s not such a big deal since it’s been out so long.

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I wasn’t too excited about watching this since Luke Cage was pretty dull in the mostly great Jessica Jones. Daredevil season 2 left a bad taste in my mouth too. I liked Luke Cage, however, more than I expected. It helped that I didn’t have to marathon the whole thing in a single day, though the Netflix bastards kept shrinking the credits on me. Fortunately Mike Colter can make Luke a likeable character when he’s the lead. Showing how afraid he is of being sent back to prison for a nebulous crime he didn’t commit (or breaking out, which is a crime he did do) explains why he was so low key in Jessica Jones. Despite all his rage, he is still just a Luke in a cage … of his own trauma. Cage does grow into an inspirational hero though. He even does a riff on a timely Captain America speech where he explains that Harlem is only great if it has great denizens. He also frequently exclaims “Sweet Christmas!”

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All The SDCC 2016 News That’s Fit To Print!

San Diego Comic Con 2016 dished out sensory overload before stumbling to a preordained conclusion. True to form, barely any of the news was directly related to comic books. I figured I’d give you hyperlinks to various trailers & add commentary. I got halfway through writing this when I noticed that that’s what all the reputable nerd news sites were doing anyway. And this is why is nigh-impossible to make a living at this anymore. So thank you for coming here to get the news that’s available everywhere. I also threw in some stuff about action figures. I’m posting early this week so it might not be completely irrelevant by the time you see it. Anyway, here’s the giant-sized part the second of my SDCC 2016 armchair coverage!

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Exclusive memento mori!

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