Supergirl’s Swansong Starts In Season Six

Supergirl’s sixth & final season didn’t have a trailer until a week before its premiere? The CW is giving it the Black Lightning season four treatment. (At least it appears to be getting unique “next week” promos.) It’s taking the time slot of Superman & Lois until it resumes in May. Is this the first time superfriends Kara & Barry have regularly aired the same night? Here is your obligatory SPOILER warning for what ought to have been its fifth season finale. There some The Flash & Justice League stuff too if you’d prefer not to stay on topic.

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“Was it Earth-Perv?”

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Justice League Snyder Cut Discourse Is Served!

Welcome to my sixth blogiversary! I had three different blogs in progress (DuckTales series finale, The Flash’s “season Finale,” Justice League Snyder cut) for the stacked events of this anniversary week. I let the people vote, & they chose violence the Snyder cut by a huge margin. Nobody voted for the poor F-Lash, which may explain when last year’s anniversary blog performed poorly despite an adorable Grodd pic. (Aren’t they all?) Keep your eyes peeled for the two losing blogs sometime in the near future.

Black Widow is the opposite of the Snyder cut in the sense that it existed before the pandemic yet its studio doesn’t want you to watch it at home post-pandemic. (If a movie needed $70 million extra dollars for special effects & reshoots, it did not exist in a finished state before.) The Snyder cut of Justice League is being reviewed … elsewhere! Sorry! I still want clickbait visits, just not enough to subscribe to HBOMax. I can’t even afford to review the official tie-in meal kit that sounds like an expensive prank. I have no journalistic integrity! For actual critical analysis, refer to my blogs on Superman & Lois, The Flash, & WandaVision. Here are SPOILERS for a movie I’ve yet to see, so all my spoilers could be wrong? This could be a fun comparison game for you to play at home. So you’re not already sick of this discourse, this blog’s for you!

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Check out the leaked pic of Stryfe from Deadpool 3!

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Polaris Is The Most Gifted Custom?

Whilst watching The Gifted, it occurred to me that its Polaris could be customized from a Marvel Legends Jessica Jones. Shortly thereafter, I saw someone had used this recipe. Not being the first person to execute it dampened my zeal to make one. When I decided to try my own, I found the price of loose Jessicas had skyrocketed since I acquired mine. Then I saw a bootleg custom The Gifted Polaris on eBay. I don’t normally go in for these gray market pieces, but this one included a superb Emma Dumont likeness I’d not seen in this scale. (Perhaps it was hydroshrunk from one of an unlicensed 1/6 scale Polaris, of which there are a few varieties?) My winning bid ended up being only slightly more than an official Marvel Legends figure. It was supposed to be delivered within the broad range of June 10 – August 4. A China Post tracking number was created on May 21 when I ordered it & then nothing. As 2020 was an exhausting string of calamities, I decided to wait patiently for it & save my anxiety for other matters. The day before its last possible delivery date, I leaned “this user is no longer registered on eBay” from my purchase history. The other listings for this product from assorted sellers disappeared too. That’s the karmic thanks I get for trying to be a good citizen of the ‘Net & alerting other fans to its existence.

Dare I trust AliExpress? Its price was double the refund I received from eBay. (A version with Lorna’s head on Elektra’s body was moderately cheaper.) I decided to go for it while they were still in stock rather than miss out & pay triple later. (It doesn’t appear to be available there anymore either, so I did something astute for a change.) I shaved a few bucks off via a coupon from a friend, Kinou Menthe, who was already a customer. I had to specially authorize my credit card to make this payment. The downloadable invoice PDF did not reflect the coupon, which panicked me greatly. It arrived three weeks later, which is quite reasonable considering I ordered it amidst a pandemic. Then I panicked that the reason it had such a good likeness with a professional paint job is that it was stolen from Hasbro’s secret production line & an official version at a more reasonable price would soon be unveiled now that Fox X-Men are back on the table. Thus far one hasn’t materialized (he wrote as as he rushed to publish this before the inaugural Marvel Fan First Friday of 2021).

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If Lorna Dane gets an advanced degree she could also be Dr. Polaris.

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Why Does Wonder Woman’s Cheetah Never Prosper?

The more I think about Wonder Woman 1984, the madder I get about it. It’s got so much sloppy writing that could’ve been fixed with another draft. Then it peppers in some great stuff that prevents me from outright writing it off. One of those was the live action debut of Cheetah, but even that could’ve been executed better. (Screen Junkies stole my alternate title!) I really shouldn’t have been surprised that the movie stumbled with Barbara Minerva when it’s precedent set by the comics & cartoons. There will be multimedia SPOILERS below because now I’ve spent an inordinate amount of time contemplating Cheetah.

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That She-Hulk blog got me hooked on tinting photos green!

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Riverdale Returns, But We Still Need To Save Swamp Thing!

When we last left Riverdale, nothing had been resolved! Its fifth season premiere doesn’t feel like one because it wasn’t intended be a season premiere. Last season was cut short by three episodes. This was titled “Climax,” but it doesn’t feel like one either. I wouldn’t even be writing this episode up by its lonesome if it weren’t blog tradition to use its popularity to bring attention to a better prematurely cancelled series. It hasn’t worked for Lodge 49 yet, but  I’m giving it another go nonetheless. Am I going to need to come back in a fortnight to recap what would’ve been the fourth season finale & then do what would’ve been season five’s premiere the week after? Let me know! SPOILERS for a soap opera that continues to make no damn sense but has much better production values than the daytime variety!

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Wonder Woman 1984: Cheetahs Never Prosper

This movie is Wonder Woman 84, meaning I skipped the intervening eighty-two sequels since the original. In a controversial move, WB finally opted to simultaneously release it to cinemas & HBO Max (at no additional charge, unlike Mulan on Disney+) on Christmas day. At least its release wasn’t as postponed as The New Mutants. I watched it a movie theater because I believe the safety precautions taken by the cinema & myself are sufficient to outweigh the risk. If you think otherwise, Gal Gadon’t go because you can watch it from the safety of your home. So is Wonder Woman 1984 doubleplusgood or thoughtcrime? The Lasso of Truth compels me to unspool its SPOILERS in this collaboreview with The Wages of Cinema, reunited for the first time since Plan 9 From Star Wars!

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Amazon’s The Boys Wanna Fight…

Marvel finally confirmed Tatiana Maslany really is playing She-Hulk after two months of confusion, so I got this blog out in the nick of time! Maybe they’ll redesign Abomination to not look like Doomsday? I want less Zombie-Hulk, more Silurian-Hulk! I was expecting a confirmation that we’d finally get Tim Blake Nelson as The Leader instead. Now that this Disney Investor Day (the most banal marketing event name possible) tidbit is out of the way, we can move on to another cold take review.

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This review of The Boys comes to you courtesy of my new patron, Korey Hughes. Out of the blue, she informed me she was gifting me DVDs of the first two seasons because I don’t have Amazon Prime & she wanted to read my review of it. (I would’ve also accepted the latest seasons of The Expanse.) So this review was written for one person only. All other visitors can move along. Let this be a lesson to the rest of you: If you mail me free stuff, I will review it! This even applies to stuff you didn’t make!

Not only is this a big SPOILER alert for the first two seasons, I’ll also throw in a Content Warning! After three paragraphs of me making value judgements of source material I didn’t read, I finally start talking about the TV adaptation. There’s lots to ruminate upon in these sixteen episodes so it’s practically Love Sausage-sized! (Welcome Home, Brother Charles, exactly the wrong title for my brain to remember, beat it to the penile strangulation.) This time there won’t be any metallic lycanthropes to go with the gratuitous genitalia. Supe porn seems pretty tame compared to death by Popclaw’s snu-snu.

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Exhibit A-Train in inciting incidents.

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Repainting Green Lantern Kyle Rayner Is A No-Brainer

Hey, it’s a comic book (not live action) custom! I haven’t had one here since Tombstone? I repaint most of my toys, but often just for shading & touch-ups. I was originally going to leave the Kyle Rayner I got for Christmas alone, but it’s not like I had anything better to do during quarantine. (My unfinished second novel weeps.) This fella was simple but turned out so well I thought I might as well share.

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“I will smack you with my purse!”

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Agents Of SHIELD’s Final Return In Time For DC News!

Now that The Flash, Batwoman, & Supergirl have ended for the year, it’s time for Agents of SHIELD to return for its last hurrah! (The She-Ra & The Princesses Of Power reboot also ended for good recently.) My fave character is Shieldo! While Marvel often releases big news right when DC does something, this time the shoe is on the other foot! More on that after the time travel SPOILERS!

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Climax Of Crisis On Infinite Earths!

Last week was Marvelous, but now for the conclusion of Crisis On Infinite Earths! (Can you believe the first chunk aired last decade?) The CW gave early renewals to all its DC shows except Arrow, so that may be a pretty big spoiler. Now read onward for the more specific SPOILERS!

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“She’ll never love you back!”

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