After last week’s freestyle toy rant breather, it’s back to reviewing stuff the general public cares about. The Falcon & The Winter Soldier was intended to be the first of of Marvel’s Disney+ series but covid prevented that. (Rumors has it a pandemic storyline was scrapped due to an actual pandemic happening. I’m unsure how much credence to give this since this series already has enough percolating without that.) TFATWS isn’t an elegant acronym. Since WandaVision is named for the main character’s ship name, why isn’t this titled Falucky? (This show put their unresolved sexual tension into couples therapy!) Or it could’ve been updated to Captain America & White Wolf. (It’s so odd Marvel dragged out the reveal of Wanda’s supranym for so long while they cavalierly gave Bucky a new codename he didn’t use in the comics.)
This was the series I was least excited about because I’m one of those people who insists Bucky should’ve stayed dead! (I don’t care much about Hawkeye either aside from the new supporting cast.) It’s only thanks to Sebastian Stan that I can bear to tolerate him as a co-lead. He furrows his brow most intensely! Anthony Mackie’s Falcon remains endearing. For better & worse, Disney+’s second MCU series isn’t as ambitious as WandaVision. There are curious parallels to The Boys in content but not tone. Now begin the SPOILERS for Toucan Sam & The Frosted Flake!
After last week’s commissioned deep dive into Stormfront the proverbial milkshake duck, I figured it’s time to clear out some of the Marvel content cluttering my drafts. I won’t be finished editing my X Of Swords review until nobody cares, so this is light on X-Men content. It does have a surfeit of pre-Christmas action figure photos if that’s your bag. (I will regret this if Santa only delivers coal this year.) After the MCU news musings not involving She-Hulk, my comic book thoughts are separated by superfluous tildes!
“Now I have The Phoenix Force! Ho ho ho!”
October the Disrober is over. Now commences November the Ember. (The month is halfway over already, but this rhymes better.)
I’ve been remiss in posting new content this month. (I’ve since revised my posting schedule form weekly to semi-weekly in “About” to cover myself.) One of several unconvincing excuses is that according to WordPress, I was at 299 blog posts. One of those was just me reblogging Cain S. Latrani’s review of The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose, so I don’t count that as one I’d written. (Cain has new novels & merchandise available! Go patronize him with your funds!) As far as I’m concerned, this is my real 299th blog. I became paralyzed trying to think of worthy content not only for post #300 but also sufficient for its immediate predecessor! Curse my modicum of integrity!
I carved Swamp Thing into a pumpkin to show my disrespect for The Green! You can tell it’s not a Man-Thing fire gourd because it’s got a wishbone shape on its face instead of a distended M. Fear doesn’t burn at its touch, unlike the existential angst within. It kind of resembles The Creature from The Black Lagoon (“Gillman” if you’re nasty). I have a long history with Jack-O-Lanterns not resembling what I envisioned them as.
In the spirit of Samhain not involving vampires staked with shilleaghs, here is a grab bag of bite-sized horror TV reviews. I also rant against the entities that provided such entertainment. Boo to the trend of diverse shows being cancelled in favor of reboots & spinoffs! Netflix didn’t even release the final chunk of CAOS in time for Halloween! There may be minor spoilers for assorted shows you would’ve watched by now if you really cared.
Now that SDCC 2020 is over, we can turn our gaze towards something originally intended for remote viewing: The Umbrella Academy season two! I did three different text manipulations of the same still. In upholding this blog’s tradition, none of them are funny! Can you stand the SPOILERS under my umbrella, Ella?
The recent earthquake in Tulsa, Oklahoma heralded me finishing viewing HBO’s Watchmen! I finally got to watch it when HBO put it up for free Juneteenth weekend. Hot on the paws of Cats, here’s my cold take on HBO’s Watchmen! I did it thirty-five minutes ago. You’ve probably seen it by now too, but the nonlinear Spoiler Warning remains at one minute to midnight. Much like the original, it doesn’t center around a timepiece-themed team. I believe their continued omission is a mistake!
They’re leaving money on the table by not producing that vibrator.
As of now, my prior article on Lodge 49 is the most read of 2020. (It has a leg up by being the year’s first blog.) So that’s a sign that the public demands I write more about it! What if all the TV series halting production before completing their seasons is cosmic punishment for nobody stepping up to bring back Lodge 49 after AMC’s president, Sarah Barnett, slew it despite claiming to champion art? Skedaddle past my SPOILERY Dispatches From Elsewhere critique so you can read me rant about Lynxes some more! Just kidding! I reference it a bunch in the review too.
Birds Of Prey: And The Fantabulous Emancipation Of One Harley Quinn is an even longer title than The Dolorous Adventure Of Brother Banenose. No one is going to refer to it by its full name. I finally went to the trouble of copying & pasting it for this critique though. I wanted to get this out the week after my CAOS Part 3 overview but the title was so sesquipedalian it threw off my schedule!
Thanks to the end of Crisis On Infinite Earths, this film can canonically exist. Though is it even worth it if they don’t sing of superhero dicks? Now here’s the latest The Wages of Cinema collaboreview with the answer! Before, after, or during your listen, scroll down for the non-transcript wherein I over analyze wardrobe & comic book deviations. There may be some SPOILERS, puddin’!
The previous installment debuted my custom of The Demon’s Head, whereas this one will feature legitimutant demons. This is the first time there’s been a break in production betwixt CAOS parts, so arguable Part 3 is really season two. It’s eight episodes with a Part 4 boasting another eight already greenlit. So Part 3 & 4 were most likely one full season split in half again. Assorted non-chronological SPOILERS will chill your marrow to the very brink of sanity! I put way more thought into the supernatural worldbuilding than its writers did!
Marvel prominently celebrated it eightieth anniversary last year. I recall when Marvel only marked milestones counting back to 1961’s Fantastic Four #1 (with the pre-Marvel debut of Captain America being an asterisk). It seems when DC Comics was celebrating its eightieth anniversary of Batman, Marvel suddenly decided to start counting birthdays back to its Golden Age progenitors, Timely Publications & Atlas Comics. Is this revisionist history correcting an oversight or just a company refusing to let its top competitor have any promotional advantage? You decide, True Believers!
So what does this have to do with this week’s article meat? I just wanted a tangential segue to show off my Jubilee action figure. There’s also a new miscellany of unrelated Marvel musings. Let’s begin with the mootest points. Excelsior!
Once I start writing X-Men, Jubes is officially stealing this catchphrase.