Jessica Jones Dourly Ends The Defenders Era

Daredevil, Luke Cage, Iron Fist, The Defenders, & The Punisher have all been cancelled. Jessica Jones is the last Defender standing. Well her series is done after season three, but it’s the last of Marvel’s Netflix shows to be released. Although I refuse to let go of Kilgrave not being purple, Jessica Jones season one was great. I liked season two more than most thanks to Janet McTeer’s superlative performance as Alissa Jones. Netflix hasn’t released any fun stills to riff on, so I’m falling back on my own natural resource of cat action figure photos. (Marvel & Netflix care about it so little they didn’t even make any mock covers for it like last season.) Now let’s pour one out with SPOILERS for Jessica Jones season three! Will it finally pay off Chekov’s Stilt-Man?

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Had this deleted scene been set after Endgame, Double J could’ve finagled a European vacation from Triple J.

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Dark Phoenix Is A Dank Failure

The last X-Men movie was delightful, whereas the last X-Men movie was abysmal! (The pedantic distinction is confusing.) Fox let the co-writer of X-Men: The Last Stand, Simon Kinberg, remake his own crappy movie! Even my The Wages of Cinema pals tapped out on Dark Phoenix. They have no sense of masochism! I was thinking about just writing a whole blog about why I’m not excited about this movie, but I don’t know how many times I can do that after missing the Hellboy reboot. (They took it away just as I was getting motivated to see a matinee.) So I’m doing this SPOILERY review solo! (Don’t worry; I bought a ticket to Godzilla: King of the Monsters instead of supporting this financially.) Shocking no one, this movie is not good. You know who is legitimutantly awesome though? Sauron! Please skip this review to the part where I extol his virtues.

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Cloak & Dagger Plus Darkwing Duck Get Happy!

So a lot of television happened. Here’s some assorted season two SPOILERS for Cloak & Dagger, Ducktales, & Happy! (I had to shuffle the order around to ensure the punctuated title is last.) Those are all things you should watch. Then I talk more about Return of the King of the Monsters because SKREE-ONK!!!!

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Agents Of SHIELD Season Six Breaks The MCU?

After what was intended as a backdoor series finale last year, Agents of SHIELD has returned thanks to a surprise renewal for two more seasons. I continue to be amazed at its longevity & lack of merchandise in comparison the defunct Defenders series. (I don’t necessarily need a full Marvel Legends series for the show, but an occasional bone like a Quake vs. Crossfit Tinkerbell Ruby Hale or Madame Hydra vs. Ghost Rider two-pack would be nice.) These Steranko -ish promos make me wish they incorporated his op-art into the series. Anyway, here be SPOILERS.

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Who turned Lola into a pool table?

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She-Ra Season 2 Got Shorted!

Captain Marvel + SHAZAM! = She-Ra! Season two of She-Ra & The Princesses of Power was released at the same time as Avengers: Endgame. (I have an addendum to my review at the end.) Let’s see if that works any better for it than the end of Gotham.

Like Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (Worse idea: putting a working fireplace in a high school library or a diner in a comic book shop?), seasons one & two were made back to back. (That’s more common in the animation industry.) This second batch also has fewer episodes. (There are even more in production, but it’s unclear if they’ll be season 3 or 2.5.) Appropriately for Catradora, they were released on Lesbian Visibility Day.

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If cats rub their scent on all their property, how do they ever find anything?

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Hellboy Held Up, Avengers Eventually

Last week floated the question of whether I’d be reviewing the Hellboy reboot this week. The answer is … no. Sorry, everybody eagerly awaiting my review!

I both do & don’t want to see it. I really wanted Hellboy 3 by Guillermo del Toro starring Ron Perlman! Mike Mignola’s stark minimalism was almost diametrically opposed to del Toro’s lush maximalism but it worked! (I’ve heard gossip that Mignola being displeased with the movies diverging so much from the comics was a factor in nixing the third one.) I would’ve been fine seeing this one providing the trilogy had finished, but it didn’t. The monsters in the trailers (where Hellboy says he’s a Capricorn despite being a Libra in the comics) look nifty, but both general reviewers & Hellboy fans say it’s not good. I kind of feel bad skipping it since I’ll probably end up seeing the much worse looking Dark Phoenix in theaters. The original was released in April too, but I still think October would be a better fit (especially with all the competition this month). I was thinking about seeing it at a matinee, but the timing hasn’t worked out yet. Maybe I’ll get to it once it’s completely irrelevant?

So this almost late installment will mostly be about tangential Avengers tidbits that would’ve made my forthcoming review of the next movie even more long-winded.

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Does Captain Marvel Live Up To Its Title?

For my fourth blogiversary, I’m doing a SPOILERY collaboreview with The Wages of Cinema for Captain Marvel! It only took twenty-one films, but Marvel Studios finally has a solo superheroine & a female (co-)director!

You can read the rest by Skrullin’ scrolling higher lower, further, faster, baby!

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Only Binary opinions on Captain Marvel are allowed.

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