Swamp Thing Makes My Heart Sing!

It’s odd how Swamp Thing is often described as an obscure character when he had some of the highest media saturation for a DC Comics character prior to its shared movieverse. I never saw either film despite wishing to do so. (Tubi currently just has the sequel.) I recently leaned he previously had a poorly received yet somehow syndicated live action TV series in the 90’s. I did see the movie of Man-Thing, Marvel’s mucky counterpart, featuring the future Trish Walker when it aired as a SciFi Original Movie. Despite being made by the director of the beloved Virtuosity & Lawnmower Man (Sadly Cybo-Man is the exception to the Monkey With A Gun rule.), Man-Thing is so terrible that the title creature is ashamed to show his iconic visage until the climax.

Thanks to the intro of his very short-lived cartoon of which I only vaguely recall seeing the pilot, I’ll always associate Swamp Thing with Jimi Hendrix & The Troggs. (Is Swampy jealous Man-Thing has his own The Mountain Goats song?). He was embargoed from appearing on Justice League Unlimited (aside from some Easter eggs snuck in) because by that point he was cloistered away in the mature readers Vertigo imprint. Thankfully Justice League Action allowed him & John Constantine to poison the minds of the youth! Swampy is very toyetic, yet somehow I never acquired any of his action figures.

Unlike last week’s merry Marvel miscellany, here’s a blog with a pruned topic. You’ve seen my fire gourd, now read my review of Swamp Thing’s relatively new television series! It’s doomed, which makes it more tragic. Now I finally have firsthand anger over this. The morass below is crawling with SPOILERS!

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I didn’t mean to damn it with faint praise!

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Amazon’s The Boys Wanna Fight…

Marvel finally confirmed Tatiana Maslany really is playing She-Hulk after two months of confusion, so I got this blog out in the nick of time! Maybe they’ll redesign Abomination to not look like Doomsday? I want less Zombie-Hulk, more Silurian-Hulk! I was expecting a confirmation that we’d finally get Tim Blake Nelson as The Leader instead. Now that this Disney Investor Day (the most banal marketing event name possible) tidbit is out of the way, we can move on to another cold take review.

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This review of The Boys comes to you courtesy of my new patron, Korey Hughes. Out of the blue, she informed me she was gifting me DVDs of the first two seasons because I don’t have Amazon Prime & she wanted to read my review of it. (I would’ve also accepted the latest seasons of The Expanse.) So this review was written for one person only. All other visitors can move along. Let this be a lesson to the rest of you: If you mail me free stuff, I will review it! This even applies to stuff you didn’t make!

Not only is this a big SPOILER alert for the first two seasons, I’ll also throw in a Content Warning! After three paragraphs of me making value judgements of source material I didn’t read, I finally start talking about the TV adaptation. There’s lots to ruminate upon in these sixteen episodes so it’s practically Love Sausage-sized! (Welcome Home, Brother Charles, exactly the wrong title for my brain to remember, beat it to the penile strangulation.) This time there won’t be any metallic lycanthropes to go with the gratuitous genitalia. Supe porn seems pretty tame compared to death by Popclaw’s snu-snu.

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Exhibit A-Train in inciting incidents.

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Come On Baby, Light My Firefly!

It took me four Marvel toys to make one DC! Can you identify them? This project was a big May Kennedy mood. This blog says Firefly frequently, so hopefully it’ll pick up some bonus traffic from diehard Browncoats.

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“Your future’s so bright, I have to wear shades. Because you’ll be aflame.”

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The Umbrella Academy’s Sophomore Term Needs Novelty

Now that SDCC 2020 is over, we can turn our gaze towards something originally intended for remote viewing: The Umbrella Academy season two! I did three different text manipulations of the same still. In upholding this blog’s tradition, none of them are funny! Can you stand the SPOILERS under my umbrella, Ella?

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Because No One Demanded It: Cats Continued!

You ever have one of those days where you’re exhausted even though you didn’t do anything? 2020 is shaping up to be a full year of them. The Murder Hornets were merely a distraction from mosquitoes spreading EEE! This week both Denny O’Neil & Sir Ian Holm passed away.

Last week I proposed not writing something topical, which is why I’m not going to do the sensible thing to draw in readers by reviewing Kipo & The Age Of Wonderbeasts season two. (It may technically be the back half of season one based on production windows.) You should be watching this delightful series anyway. If only Karen Fukuhara could speak as much in live action roles as she gets to in animation! Apparently it began as a webcomic. Why must its merch be so pricey?

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Now, because no one demanded it, Cats cold takes!

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Scooby-Doo: Mystery Incorporated Reveals All The Answers!

Scooby-Doo: Mystery Incorporated is the eleventh iteration of the franchise. As opposed to most long-running properties rebooted ad nauseam, this is when it gets spectacular! (Not to be confused with a live action fan project that looks like it takes itself too seriously.)  It’s perfect for fans of Gravity Falls & the new DuckTales. I’d seen a smattering of episodes when it was fresher, but Cartoon Network’s crazy scheduling thwarted me from taking it all in. Apparently it took four years to air two seasons, so it was easy to lose track. Once I heard it was on Netflix, I gobbled it up. This happened weeks before the coronavirus became a global scourge. I’d planned to publish this around SCOOB!’s theatrical premiere, but who knows when that’ll be now? Now you have another binge recommendation for quarantine. To really explain why it’s superlative, however, I’ve gotta go full SPOILER mode. Jinkies!

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Ruh-roh!

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Sabrina Part 3 Is A Chaotic Muddle

The previous installment debuted my custom of The Demon’s Head, whereas this one will feature legitimutant demons. This is the first time there’s been a break in production betwixt CAOS parts, so arguable Part 3 is really season two. It’s eight episodes with a Part 4 boasting another eight already greenlit. So Part 3 & 4 were most likely one full season split in half again. Assorted non-chronological SPOILERS will chill your marrow to the very brink of sanity! I put way more thought into the supernatural worldbuilding than its writers did!

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“Allons-y!”

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Cats Is Hamilton For Furries?

I was more excited to see Cats than Episode IX! I had the option to get my alcohol before witnessing Cats, but I decided I needed to experience it stone cold sober. I survived because I’m a Lynx. (Did I just get knighted?) Before my semi-SPOILERish critique, listen to this surpise collaboreview with The Wages of Cinema! I did not expect Jack & Korey to go for it when I pitched a screening. (I liked it more than them.) Andrew chickened out, but I did steal this headline from him. “Like Hamilton for Furries!” should be on the posters.

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Toy Fair Can Stand Under My Umbrella Academy

Last week’s blog was short, but this one will be super long! If you don’t want to be spoiled by my The Umbrella Academy review, scroll to the second tilde for some Toy Fair news. Your attempts to keep me from seeing the Kim Possible movie have failed as well!

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Fiction & Felines!

Last week, I wrote that I may be showing off another custom. The latest one turns out to be taking a little longer than expected. I thought about rushing to get it done in time before realizing San Diego Comic Con coverage starts this week. Rather than letting all my hard work get lost amidst the noise of coverage, I’m postponing that post. That way when I do upload it after my armchair SDCC coverage, it’ll be ignored for the right reasons.

So this week is a follow up to one of my least read posts of this year. It’s an evergreen article on books & cats, this time with a superior title. I say evergreen because it will perpetually be non-current. Spoilers for decades-old books away!

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