Hellboy Held Up, Avengers Eventually

Last week floated the question of whether I’d be reviewing the Hellboy reboot this week. The answer is … no. Sorry, everybody eagerly awaiting my review!

I both do & don’t want to see it. I really wanted Hellboy 3 by Guillermo del Toro starring Ron Perlman! Mike Mignola’s stark minimalism was almost diametrically opposed to del Toro’s lush maximalism but it worked! (I’ve heard gossip that Mignola being displeased with the movies diverging so much from the comics was a factor in nixing the third one.) I would’ve been fine seeing this one providing the trilogy had finished, but it didn’t. The monsters in the trailers (where Hellboy says he’s a Capricorn despite being a Libra in the comics) look nifty, but both general reviewers & Hellboy fans say it’s not good. I kind of feel bad skipping it since I’ll probably end up seeing the much worse looking Dark Phoenix in theaters. The original was released in April too, but I still think October would be a better fit (especially with all the competition this month). I was thinking about seeing it at a matinee, but the timing hasn’t worked out yet. Maybe I’ll get to it once it’s completely irrelevant?

So this almost late installment will mostly be about tangential Avengers tidbits that would’ve made my forthcoming review of the next movie even more long-winded.

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Hail To Thea Queen Of The Toy Chest!

I finally gave up waiting for DC Collectibles or Mattel (or even Soap Studios) to produce (Green) Arrow’s best character. (The other alternative was this unlicensed 1/6 costume set that doesn’t even include a 12″ figure to wear it.) Toy Fair 2019 confirmed she’s not in the cards. This Thea “Speedy” Queen was made from a Civil War Scarlet Witch action figure. The notion came to me just as I was going to make the MCU toy more comics accurate with a tiara & red pants. I suddenly realized that not only was this costume already close to Speedy’s (The CW’s debuted first), the Elizabeth Olsen head sculpt could pass for Willa Holland. (I’ve never seen the two of them in the same place…) Plus the right hand was already in an acceptable arrow-nocking position, & the vertical hinge in her left wrist would work for archery poses. It’d save me a lot of work as opposed to the fantastic one bluebery practically sculpted from the ground up.

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“Come get some!”

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Does Captain Marvel Live Up To Its Title?

For my fourth blogiversary, I’m doing a SPOILERY collaboreview with The Wages of Cinema for Captain Marvel! It only took twenty-one films, but Marvel Studios finally has a solo superheroine & a female (co-)director!

You can read the rest by Skrullin’ scrolling higher lower, further, faster, baby!

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Only Binary opinions on Captain Marvel are allowed.

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The LEGO Movie 2 Is Awesome, Obviously

As you’d expect, The LEGO Movie 2: The Second Part is awesome. There, that’s the zero spoilers review. Go see it. (Then keep reading this. It also contains non-LEGO musings.)

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Netflix V. Gotham: Dawn Of Bombogenesis

So there was no blog last week. I failed you, & the world didn’t stop spinning as it was supposed to! My work on an extensive custom project was derailed by bombogenesis. (R.I.P. Dick Miller & the Marcal factory.) Extreme cold makes me go into hibernation mode because I’m half-Scarren. I could’ve run something else, but my anti-creativity levels also rose. I’ll probably end up writing over fifty-two posts this year anyway, so this wasn’t a big loss. We’re back now False Spring has sprung with the Year of the Pig, cake sniffers!

Super Bowl commercials were equally uninspired this year aside from Houses Lannister & Targaryen uniting to make those obnoxious Bud Light bastards dilly dilly dead. (Skittles Commercial: The Broadway Musical doesn’t count but was probably superior.) Why don’t the football teams also put aside their differences to form one mega-team? As I understand sports only marginally better than Bitcoin, I shall devote the rest of this essay on the merits of Netflix originals & Gotham again. It was either that or random feline thoughts. (Those will return eventually!)

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I Can Put Mysterio In A Headline Now!

Now that I’ve finished slagging off Doctor Who, I resume my habit of having no discernible topic! There’s a mishmash of potentially spoilery Punisher, Gotham, & Aquaman musings below. But first let’s chat about Mysterio again because the time is finally ripe!

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The End Of Gotham Begins

This may be my most punctual review ever as I had nearly a month’s head-start to get it done! In December I attended “Meanwhile, Back in Gotham: Preview Screening and Discussion” at The Paley Center. The last time I went to an advance screening of a season premiere it was for Doctor Who season six (in reboot numbering), & I got Steven Moffat to sign my sonic screwdriver. (PHRASING!) This time I was unable to obtain any autographs & it cost more, but I did avoid stress induced vomiting connecting to writing a monograph whilst waiting on line for hours. So I’m counting it as a success!

The two times I’ve attended NYCC, the Gotham panels were always on another day. Last year’s didn’t even announce there’d be one until the week before when all the tickets were sold out. With the series ending, this Paley Center event seemed like my last opportunity to see them. They finished filming literally the day before. I feared the entire cast would be executed after the finale wrapped (That’s what they do for TV shows. The trend of reviving long dead shows is due to conceal a spate of zombieosis.), yet they did not fall into a pit of fire or revolving blades beneath the stage. This cast has excellent camaraderie, although I’ll never be able to tell whether it’s genuine or the thespians are contractually obligated to keep up appearances. It’s pretty surreal to hear them discuss how they’re all suddenly unemployed.

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