Tune In To DC Cartoons & Mutant Mayhem!

February was a crazy busy month that I didn’t get around to blogging much. Remind me about that at the end of the year when I panic about my viewership decreasing. I got new spectacles, & now I’m afraid strangers online that haven’t seen my visage won’t recognize me. Then I discovered local McDonald’s charges seventy cents more for a large shamrock shake than one on the highway. The mall one is furthest away & cheapest yet by thirty cents. So if I travel far enough from home I’ll eventually be able to get shamrock shakes for a penny!

The trailer for TMNT: Mutant Mayhem just dropped. I don’t have too much to say about that yet, so let’s chat about random DC cartoons first. (Sorry, draft of random non-DC cartoons!) There will be SPOILERS for Young Justice & miscellaneous animated movies. I would’ve blogged on James Gunn’s “Gods & Monsters” DC Studios announcements, but I worry it’ll just become frustrating vaporware like Batgirl thanks to David Zaslav. I swear Zaslav becoiming WB Discovery CEO is going to be my supervillain origin story.   Hardcore MODOK fetishists can read my Ant-Man & The Wasp: Quantumania collaboreview again instead.

A Decade Of D-Cat!

It’s cat bloggin’ time! Recently I celebrated my cat’s tenth birthday. (I waited until after to write this headline & introduction so as not to jinx it with tragedy.) I don’t know if it’s her real birthday, but it’s the one I assigned her in lieu of a birth certificate. It’s also not her tenth anniversary of being the feline in residence. (Until her family pays her ransom, this cat will continue to be my hostage.) Rather than continuously refer to her generically, I will reveal her first name starts with D. This will maintain a level of privacy for her & prevent me from having to commit to one spelling online. Happy decade to the D-Cat!

Unlike the inflatable birthday hat fiasco, this year I went out of my way to purchase her Yeoww! catnip toys from Pet Goods she actually appreciates. The path of least resistance works to placate pussycats! Hopefully they’ll make some catnip fish in new colors because I believe she now has the complete set. She’s quite fond of nip-pineapple. I was able to get plenty of photos of her playing with her new toys, but the lighting wasn’t ideal. So here’s some of her wielding hammers instead!

“These tools are mine now. I am become a hammerist.”

Na Na Na Na Na … The Batman!

This January was even worse for me than usual, what with everything breaking behind the scenes. I’m glad to have survived into the latest Year Of The Tiger. I’m going to use my crummy start to the year as my excuse for missing a week after my Baron Zemo custom. I’ll rue this when I look back at 2022’s annual readership! Meanwhile my paranoid paean to God-Lyn suddenly did gangbusters during this break, so perhaps I should publish even less?

So to compensate, I’m dumping out a variety of Batman thoughts I’d been stockpiling. It’s a mess, but I streamlined it by saving the movie & cartoon bits for later. Note that these aren’t about The Batman, as I feel I’m the only person not enthused about that movie. (It’s not about the earlier cartoon either.) I don’t even plan on watching it in a cinema. I just really needed to put The Batman in the title out of SEO desperation. Maybe this way people will want to read this ramble in March.

The Batman is not gonna be as brilliant as Dan Pinto’s script from Ingrid Goes West. The Batman makes me miss Gotham. How can I already be nostalgic for something that only ended recently? An HBO Max TV show about the GCPD before the Batman & another about Penguin sound like they’ll be stretching the narrative pretty thin. If only there was some way to combine the two into something meaty…

Teen Titans Go To Cloak & Dagger!

This week you’re getting a two-for-one review of Teen Titans Go! To The Movies (that exclamation mark in mid-title vexes me) & the first season of Cloak & Dagger! The former has fewer spoilers than the latter.

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I remember when there was backlash against the Teen Titans cartoon for deviating from both the comics & the DCAU. After that wormed its way into audience’s hearts, there was backlash against Teen Titans Go! for seemingly disrespecting its predecessor. (I find it to be a better show than it gets credit for, though I only watch it infrequently.) Now we’re all united in hating the Titans trailer because it’s awful. (Does this mean we’ll have fond memories of Titans by the time the next reboot is teased?) Teen Titans Go! To The Movies makes DC Universe’s flagship series look even more embarrassing because it’s legitimutantly fun!

SDCC Struck Again!

San Diego Comic Con 2018 just happened. (As expected, nobody cared about “Fiction & Felines!” while it was occurring.) I have opinions. Armchair coverage & the possible spoilers associated therewith happen below.

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The biggest news out of this year’s SDCC is … Cutthroat Island is finally getting toys!  Thanks to Blitzway, you can own a Hot Toys-style replica from the film that sunk pirate movies until until Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl surprised everyone! Congratulations, Geena Davis!

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The LEGO Batman Movie Is Bat-tastic!

If you think Batman is oversaturated, you’re never going to be proven otherwise at the rate DC milks this cash-cow. Out of the four 2016 movies featuring Batman, Batman: Return of the Caped Crusaders was the best because it didn’t take itself so damn seriously. Thankfully his solo LEGO film follows in that vein. My favorite movie of last year, Deadpool, was released in February. Will history repeat itself with The LEGO Batman movie? Since I struggled to write a review that’s not just “EVERYTHING IS AWESOME!,” I’d recommend betting on black.

Somewhat SPOILERY iterations of what I discussed with The Wages of Cinema to follow. (Do you prefer me speaking extemporaneously on movies or reading me take the extra time to make typos about movies?)

“She Wants To Kill You, DICK!”

That remains my favorite line delivery in Batman & Robin.

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 As foreshadowed a fortnight ago, here are my Robin entries from the Topless Robot contest. These include the various underage vigilantes that have acted as Robin as well as the identities they assumed afterwards. However did you survive the agony of waiting an extra week to see them?

“I Don’t Know About You, Miss Kitty, But I Feel So Much Punnier!”

This headline is false. There are no puns herein.

A month ago, Topless Robot held a contest to win a Robin or Catwoman t-shirt by making a meme about either. The directions specifically noted that any iteration of these characters were fair game & there was no limit on entries until the deadline. I didn’t actually want either shirt, but I was a bit disappointed in the variety of images selected by the other contestants. So I did what any sane person would do & spent an entire weekend making Robin & Catwoman memes. Never let it be said I don’t have my priorities in order!

So here are more memes made by me. Rather than make this super-duper long, I’m dividing the Robin & Catwoman entries into separate posts. The Catwoman memes are up first BECAUSE SHE’S CATWOMAN!

Click onward to view virtually vandalized visuals of a mildly diverting nature with intermittent joke-ruining commentary!

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